Underneath my yellow skin

Rambling thoughts about the state of my game

So, I’m have good news and bad news concerning my health. The good news is that all my flu symptoms are gone. The bad news is that my cough has settled in my chest. All things considered, I’ll take the trade off. It still means I’m exhausted, however, which means I stick to BoI:R and Dark Souls III these days. As I mentioned, I started another Sekiro playthrough, but I cannot play it when I’m not in top form. Whenever I watch someone else play it, I’m filled with passion to play it again. When I actually think about doing it, however, I just don’t have the will or the energy.

I can’t quit BoI:R. I’ve reached the point where I can do a run quite comfortably as long as I get some damage upgrades fairly quickly. By the way, let me ruminate on some of the most annoying things about the game. I was going to make a whole post of it, but that seems like too much of a bother. One of the worst runs in this game is one where I have a ton of health (say as Maggie), but no damage. I remember a run where I was on the Mom floor, and I had no damage upgrades, but a shit-ton of health and health regen. There was no way I was going to die, but it was taking me two or three tears to kill very basic enemies. If I don’t have at least four ticks of damage by this floor, it’s a bad run. I’ve actually ended runs prematurely because I couldn’t stand the thought of going to the Chest with no damage.

Speaking of the Chest, that’s another issue with the game. The ‘heavenly’ route (Cathedral and Chest) is way better than the ‘hell’ route (Sheol and Dark Room). I never go the latter except when it’s dictated by the Daily Run. Part of the reason is that you can get four new items on the Chest. What do you get on the Dark Room? Spiders and troll bombs, mostly. Speaking of troll bombs, I really hate them. I don’t mind that they exist. Ok, I do, but I accept it. What I hate is when I literally cannot outrun them because I’m too slow or the room is too small (and, yeah, I’ll get to that in a minute), it feels cheap.

That’s the thing about RNG–there’s a very thin line between fair and foul. I’ve said this in the past. I know that’s part of RNG, but I do think sometimes it’s the coding at fault. Yes, I know that’s my go-to when I’m displeased with something in a game, but at least I acknowledged it, right?

I hate any enemies that go into the ground and pop up randomly, especially the…um…lumps? I’ve played an ungodly number of hours of this game and still can’t properly identify all the enemies. I just looked it up, and it’s Lump! It’s lump. It’s in my head…oh, sorry. The reason I don’t like them is because they come up wherever they want, and sometimes, that’s right under you. Yes, it’s not supposed to happen in theory, but because my reflexes suck, it happens. In addition, if my character is too slow, I can’t catch up with the damn things. I hate it even more when it’s a boss and they decide not to pop up for hours. It’s the same with the boneys who pop up their heads. I hate waiting for them to do it, and it’s mostly the ones who walk around.

Let’s talk about the stone spitters who are complete assholes. As bad as they are, though, they aren’t nearly as bad as the stone spitters with the magnetic pull who have spikes around them. In the newest iteration, there can be two or three of them in a row, and I literally could not pull away from them. I couldn’t fly, so I took damage. i have a huge issue when I cannot avoid damage in a game like this. There’s another instance with the spiked chests. They are chests that pop out spikes as you get near them and do damage when you open them. Since except on the Chest where they give you an item, they’re pretty much shit, I usually ignore them. Yesterday, there was one in the path of where I needed to go, and I couldn’t get around it. I think that’s lazy coding.

What else irritates me about the game? The curses. Yes, I know there’s a way to remove them, but I do feel they are a part of the game. That said, I hate them. The darkness one is the worst, even with the gamma cranked up, because I simply can’t see. That’s a big deterrence in a game. Curse of the Maze is annoying as fuck, especially when the RNG makes you go into the same room five times in a row. If it was just a one time skip every once in a while, it would be bearable. The guessing your health one (Curse of the Unknown) is whatever. I don’t like it because I like knowing my health situation, but it’s not the worst. Except when it’s on the first floor of an Eden run because they start with random health. Curse of the Lost S-U-C-K-S. Curse of the Labyrinth is fine except when it’s on the first two floors. Curse of Blindness is irritating because one really bad item can break a game, and I don’t like it especially for Devil Room/Angel Room deals.

Let’s talk about what characters I hate. First and foremost is the Keeper. The end. No, that’s not the end, but they are by far my least favorite character. I have filled all the post-it notes except for MegaSatan with the Keeper. I’m actually surprised I’ve gotten most of it done because this character is so unfair. I’m not the only one who feels that way, and I have a hunch they are in the game for all the hardcore fans who complain about the game being so easy. Here’s the basic gist. The Keeper starts with coins instead of hearts, and you can never get more than two coins for them. That means they can take a maximum of two hits per room*. Ever. In addition, they have no soul hearts or soul coins, if you will, so all damage is red heard damage.

Here’s the reason this matters for the MegaStan (community nickname for MegaSatan) run. There are two ways to be able to fight MegaStan. One is to get the item, Dad’s Key. This is an active item that opens all ‘doors’ in a room. I put doors in quotes because it includes blowing open the doors to secret rooms. MegaStan is behind a locked door in the spawning room of the Chest or the Dark Room. That means if you have this item, you have to carry it with you throughout the whole game. It’s a nice item, but it is not even in the top ten active items. In addition, at a certain point,** you can start as the Keeper with the Wooden Nickel as your active item. The Wooden Nickel can be used every room, and it has a 50% chance to drop a coin. I hope you can see the value in this as coins are hearts to the Keeper. Having Dad’s Key means you can’t have the Wooden Nickel unless you have the Schoolbag which allows you to carry two active items. I wouldn’t hold your breath hoping for that to happen.

The other way to open MegaStan’s room is much more complicated. You have to get Angel Rooms instead of Devil Rooms as a bonus at the end of each floor. You can’t get one organically for the first floor. You can guarantee one for the second floor if you take no red heart damage. You increase your chances for other floors if you don’t take red heart damage as well. You can see the issue with the Keeper when all you take is red heart damage. Oh, and you can’t get an Angel Room on the second floor because it’s always a Devil Room first. You probably don’t want to take Devil Room items because one, you lone coins for it, but two, you  increase your Angel Room chances by not taking deals with the devil.

Once you get an Angel Room, you have to have a bomb in order to explode the statue. Then you have to fight the angel to get half a key piece from it. Then you have to do it again to get the second half. Then and only then can you fight MegaStan. It’s bullshit, and even if you get all the pieces of the puzzle to fit, you’re severely under-leveled by the time you reach MegaStan from refusing all the deals with the devil and whatnot. The Forgotten came out more than a year after the Keeper did, and I have finished everything for the Forgotten including MegaStan.

Veering to a wildly different note, Iceborne came out today. It’s the expansion for MHW, and it’s been a long time coming. It came out for consoles three months ago but on the PC today. I’m installing it now at a snail’s pace. I also had to reinstall the base game, so it’s going to be hours before I can play. That’s fine as I’m not up to it right now, anyway. I pre-ordered because there was an interesting layered armor set that came with the pre-order, and I was going to buy it, anyway. I also bought the deluxe digital edition for the stupidest reason ever–it also contained a layered armor set of a ‘silver knight’ that was medieval-inspired–JUST SAY IT’S OSCAR FROM DARK SOULS, CAPCOM! TAKE MY MONEY! It also has a ‘flowing’ hairstyle which I’m eager to see. I live for the day when games have hair that goes past the ass.

I haven’t played MHW since Geralt, the OG monster hunter, fought a Leshen in the Ancient Forest. That was eight months ago, and I haven’t touched it since. I had a hard time getting back into it for that mission, and I have a hunch I’ll have an even harder time this time around for a variety of reasons. There have been major changes, and there’s a whole new campaign. There’s also G rank, and my head is dizzy just thinking about it. I’m hoping I can sink around couple hundred hours into the game, but we’ll have to see how it goes. I’ll be sure to let you know.



*There are mitigating factors, of course, but that’s the basic truth.

**It’s an unlockable.

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