Underneath my yellow skin

Tag Archives: ibs

Sad sigh happy sigh WTF 2020

I spent too much time in the bathroom last night. I’m doubly mad because it was because of something I’ve eaten before. I’m guessing because I haven’t eaten anything new. What is the food? Sweet corn. I think. Maybe it was the eggs I made earlier? Could be, but I doubt it. I really hope it’s not eggs because I love them so much. I like sweet corn, too, but not as much. Here’s the thing. I’ve been eating sweet corn for a week or two with no problem. Last night, I decided to steam about eight ounces and eat that. Half yellow and half white. The yellow was the old bag and white was the new. I had eaten half the old bag with no issue. I ate the corn no problem, then less than an hour later, I was sitting on the toilet thinking nasty thoughts about corn and my digestive system in general.

Today, I Googled IBS and sweet corn. It’s considered a high FODMAP food in large amounts. This is for fresh, which is probably the same for frozen. What is considered low FODMAP? Half an ear of corn. Roughly one ounce. Well.

Can I say how pissed I am that fruits and vegetables are becoming such a pain in my ass–literally–in my forties? I had it hammered into me as a young girl to eat my five servings a day. Fruits and vegetables are good for you! They are the best! You have to eat them for your vitamins! Fine and dandy until they bite back. So far, I have issues with grapes, apples, plums, berries, and ripe bananas–which, by the way, is the way I like them. I can only eat barely ripe bananas now, which I’m not happy about.

Vegetable-wise, cauliflower, garlic, and onion are on the no-go list. You know, it might not be the sweet corn. Maybe it’s the pickled asparagus spears. I had eaten them the day before as well, though. I just looked it up. Asparagus is also a High FODMAP food. *sigh*.

Oh! I read that there is a low level of arsenic in rice. Really?

There’s a part of me that just doesn’t want to eat any longer. It’s so difficult and I hate having to spend hours in the bathroom. I could test the sweet corn hypothesis, but my body recoils at doing it. I probably will because I’m cheap like that but also because I really don’t want to have to cut out sweet con/corn if I don’t have to.

You know what? I’ve had issues eating popcorn before, but nothing that was too severe. Just some stomach pain. Nothing too bad so I just dismissed it. But, given this new information, corn may be on The List.

I’m so mad! I’m just trying to be healthy by eating more vegetables and my body is not having any of it. Well, not having some of it. Irritates the fuck out of me. What could be healthier than steamed veggies? At least, that’s the way it should be.


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Time to bite the bullet

It’s time. I need to go to a doctor and figure out what the fuck is wrong with my digestive system before I devolve in a puddle of indignant goo. A few days ago, I had the worst reaction I’ve had in months, and it was from something I’ve eaten many times before.

Side Note: There is one upside to whatever this hell I’m experiencing. It happens as I’m eating or within ten minutes of consuming the ‘bad’ ingredient. Twenty minutes at the most. So I’m pretty sure what it is each time it happens.

This time, I’m sure it was the skin of the roasted chicken. I’ve had mild issues with it before, and there’s no list of the ingredients. I’m pretty sure there was more of whatever they roasted it in than before, and it ended up with me spending two hours in the bathroom on and off. I figured if I didn’t eat the skin and washed the chicken, it should be fine. Was it? Yes…and no. It didn’t cause me to shit my brains out, but it did cause some uncomfortable bloating in my stomach. so, yeah, it’s off the menu for me from now on.

Have started the reintroduction phase of the FODMAP diet. I’ve been having a hard time with it because I’m afraid to cause more explosions. It’s been nice to not have to run to the bathroom every night and to not feel bloated and queasy. Now, I feel as if I’m deliberately poisoning myself. It’s like when I used to get the allergy test (and no one ever explained it to me. Or allergy shots, come to think of it. I would just sit in the doctor’s lobby every week, feeling miserable because my arm was swollen, and I was hot and feverish) and my entire thigh would swell up. I hated having it done, and I would avoid it for as long as possible.

It’s the same with my diet. I’ve been dragging my feet on adding things back to my diet because why would I do that to myself? I mean, I know why theoretically. It will open up my diet in the long run, blah, blah, blah. But in the short term, it’s going to fucking suck.


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Food map? FODMAP it is! *Sigh*

I’ve been aware of the FODMAP elimination diet for years, but I’ve always shied away from it because it’s really damn restrictive. I’ve already eliminated gluten, dairy, and caffeine, which is the reason I don’t want to do the damn diet. I feel as if I’ve given up so much, and I don’t want to give up more. But, my symptoms are getting worse, and it’s exhausting to have to deal with the aftereffects. In looking over the lists of what you can and can’t eat on this elimination diet, I found out that cauliflower is high FODMAP, which might explain the terrible reaction to the Cauliflower Bezule I had while I was in Philly.

IT WAS STILL WORTH IT!

The problem is that I don’t cook. I tend to eat a lot of prepared food, processed and otherwise. Many of the items on the high list are in many processed foods including onion and garlic. Let me give you several other items on the ‘do not eat’ list, particularly ones I like to eat. Mushrooms, peaches, watermelon, apples, beans and lentils, gluten and dairy (already given up), cashews, honey and other sweeteners, and alcohol. The last isn’t a problem for me. This is but the tip of the restricted list, and I get tired just looking at it.

Giving up dairy and gluten wasn’t fun, but it wasn’t hard. There were plenty of substitutes, and I rarely miss it. Yes, I do occasionally want a dumpling or cheese, but it’s not something that has a negative impact on my life. This, on the other hand, is an ordeal. Right now, I’m big into hummus. Chickpeas are medium FODMAP and garlic are high FODMAP. I love potatoes, which are low FODMAP, but can be irritable, nonetheless. Thankfully, citrus fruits are low FODMAP, which is good because I eat an orange a day.

I just read an article about how you should think about what you can have, not what you can’t. There’s plenty! You can have salmon and green beans and potatoes, for example! Actually, that sounds delicious. The problem is that I don’t cook. I will have to cook. These two things are mutually exclusive, and I don’t know how to reconcile it.

My nose is burning. It’s hurting like hell. My head is softly thumping, but it’s not migraine levels. Yet. I stopped drinking the cold coffee I bought, and that seems to have done the trick. I might check it by drinking some of the coffee because, science.

I really am not feeling blogging this week, so I’ll end this hear. I’ll leave you with yet another Oxventure. Actually, it’s the first of three episodes, and Andy Farrant who plays the rogue pirate, Corazon de Ballena (nee de Leon, kind of) has to pretend to be a young paladin named Chauncey. His voice and manners as he pretends to be Chauncey had me in tears. I earmarked where it all started in the video below. There is also a lot of homoerotic tension in the quest as well, which is delightful.

Is this my life now?

Wish I could sleep like this.

Yesterday, I was feeling exhausted for no particular reason. I can’t blame travel as I had been home for a week, and I only crossed one timezone. I had my normal amount of sleep, so it wasn’t that, either. This happens to me from time to time, I have to say. There are days when I inexplicably just want to sleep. Sometimes, it’s because I haven’t slept well in the past few days. Sometimes, it’s because I’m getting sick. In this case, I fear it’s the latter. I was feeling pretty punk all day, and around nine at night, my eyes were closing against my will. Around one in the morning, I was watching the YouTubes, and my eyes were feeling very heavy. Instead of getting up and getting ready for bed, I simply put my laptop on the coffee table, turned on my side, and watched videos into oblivion.

Side note: I have this weird thing when I’m falling asleep as I’m watching videos to go back to the place I was in the video when I fell asleep. I mean, that’s not weird in and of itself, but it’s weird that I do it several times in a row. The kicker is that I don’t remember anything in the video past the first time I fell asleep,  It doesn’t matter how many times I rewind (yes, I’m old) so I might as well not do it at all. And yet, I still do it. Why? Who knows?

So.  Last night, I conked out while watching the YouTubes. I woke up sometime in the middle of the night, but I couldn’t be assed to get up and properly put myself to bed. Part of the issue is that I actually sleep on the couch instead of my bed, so it’s not as if I was in a different location. But, I didn’t put on my eye mask (which still won’t stay on) or my ear plugs, so it was a weird night of sleep. The biggest actual physical effect was that Shadow seemed extra loud as he was meowing at me this morning.

Side note II: Shadow has been really funny these past few days as I’ve practiced my weapons. He’s been walking alongside of me or in front of me and meowing crossly. I don’t know why as it’s not been an issue in the past. Today, as I was practicing the Cane Form, he started walking next to me. Then, after I was finished and returned to my starting position to try again, he sat down where I had been and started meowing.  We had a little conversation as I finished the row. Then, he fucked off for a minute only to return as I practiced the Sabre Form. He sat a safe distance away and trained his eyes on me. I have no idea why he’s so fascinated with me doing my weapons these days. Is he telling me to be careful? Is he worried I’ll hurt myself? Does he see it as a rival? Who knows?

I woke up this morning disconcerted because I didn’t have my usual sleeping gear on. I also didn’t want to get up, and my head was…tense. It’s hard to explain. It’s not pounding or throbbing. It’s just as if there was a band that restricted the blood flow to my brain. And a thumping in my brain that isn’t really thumping. Again, it’s hard to explain, but it’s very distracting, and I knew exactly what it might portend. I’ve been trying not to eat my migraine meds every morning, but I knew if I didn’t today, I would be laid out for the rest of the day. There are days when I can say, “Yeah, it might not be a migraine this time”, and there are days when I know it’s going to be a migraine kind of day.

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Alienated isolation

In reading Ask A Manager, I have come to realize how truly weird I am for a variety of reason. In this post, I’m going to focus on gift-giving. In the case of AAM, it’s work related, of course, but I can extrapolate in general. Or, conversely, ponder it as yet another reason I wouldn’t be a good fit for a 9-to-5 job. There are always questions about giving gifts, sometimes about to whom you should give them, but also often about what to give. Obviously, nothing personal, and most people said stick to consumables or flowers or some such.

Um. No. I can’t consume most of the popular holiday consumables–cheese and chocolate. I also don’t drink so wine is right out. As for flowers, well, I’m allergic to almost everything known to womankind. I still remember working for the county and every Christmas, the administrative assistants got poinsettias. That’s when I learned that I was really allergic to poinsettias–to the point where I had difficulty breathing. There were four administrative assistants in the area I was in, so the scent of the poinsettias was very overwhelming. I put mine as far from me as possible, but I couldn’t escape it. When I mentioned it to my boss, she shrugged and got me one the next year as well.

I’d like to point out that this isn’t just me being difficult. It’s not me saying, “I don’t like this thing. Please don’t give it to me.” Well, ok, in the case of wine, it half is. Yes, I don’t like drinking, but I’m also allergic to it. I understand that a work gift isn’t the same as a personal gift, but it made me feel very unimportant to keep getting poinsettias after I pointed out that I was allergic to them. And, yes, it’s different than food because I’m not allergic to any food–just intolerant/sensitive. I’m not going to go into anaphylactic shock, and I won’t have to be rushed to the hospital. My throat isn’t going to swell shut, and I’m not going to die from any of it. I’m just going to be miserable as I sit on the toilet for hours, shitting until I’m dehydrated, sore, and exhausted.

Side Note: It’s strange that in the floral world, being allergic to something means itchiness, stuffed nose, watery eyes, etc. It doesn’t have to mean a need to be rushed to the hospital. The same with animal allergies. But in the food world, that’s a sensitivity or an intolerance. No greater point to be made about this–just an observation.

This is an issue with other aspects of my life, albeit in a more subjective way.   I am a weirdo in so many ways, and I’m careful about letting it show on the regular. I know how to pass as normal, and I can do it for shorts bursts of time. For example, when I go to the grocery store, I can pass as one of the locals. I know how to speak the language, and I have a mantra that nobody needs to know the real me. So, yeah, I can nod and smile when someone groans about winter or snow. I can talk about the Vikes to a superficial degree. I can say I’m doing fine with the best of them, and I can nod sympathetically if someone else complains about something.


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My Sword is My Life

so tempting, and yet, so wrong.
My new nemeses.

Health update first: I’m around ninety percent, but I’m having bouts of being besties with my toilet. It starts with stomach cramps, and it ends with me rushing to the bathroom as fast as I can. I sit on the toilet for up to half an hour, and it’s not fun at all. I had hope that by cutting gluten and dairy out of my diet that I’d not have to deal with this any longer, but it’s still happening, albeit much more infrequently. I bought some vegan Fettuccine Alfredo sauce from the hot bar at the co-op yesterday, and I was hesitant because it had noodles in it. However, the description card for it only noted it contained soy (I really appreciate they point out the major allergens in the food they provide), but I could SEE noodles. I didn’t see rice as an ingredient (a common substitute for wheat in noodles), and I didn’t feel comfortable enough to ask. I’m pretty sure they would have put wheat on the card if there was wheat in it, but it also said the item was just the sauce.

The other thing I’ve changed is that I’ve added more fruit back into my diet. This time, plums. I ate a plum after eating the vegan Fettuccine Alfredo, and I think it’s the plum rather than the Alfredo that caused the problems. I’m going to test it today by eating them at different times, and hopefully, that will pinpoint the problem. I’ve also had an issue with grapes and possibly cherries, so I’ve self-diagnosed the problem as either an intolerance/sensitivity to fructose or IBS. I don’t think it’s the former because there are fruits I can eat without problem. Oranges, apples, blackberries, and strawberries, for example. Watermelon, too. Also. I did have a bad reaction to a banana once, but only once, so maybe it was something else. It might also be that I’m not used to the amount of fiber I’m now ingesting. That’s another

I know I should see my doctor, but since I got sick after the last two times I went to my doctor, so now I have an irrational fear it’ll happen again. I know correlation is not causation, but it’s still in the back of my mind. I’ve been sick for nearly six months, and I don’t want to deal with another bout. For now, I’m just going to keep testing myself and hopefully come to the correct conclusions.

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