All right, folks. I have a holiday (election) poem for you. Strap it up. We’re doing this!
A Visit from President Obama
Twas the night before elections, and all through the house,
Everyone was panicking, causing me to grouse;
I had my laptop on my lap, typing with speed,
Hoping that America wouldn’t be consumed with greed;
I will offer links to help Minnesotans with voting;
Then sit, whimpering in a corner, overcome with not knowing;
My eyes are so heavy, and I’d really like to sleep,
But reading about the election is making me weep,
Suddenly, on the internet, there arose such a clatter,
I had to check Twitter to see what was the matter.
Away to my tabs, I raced with trepidation,
To see what had agitated the entire Twitter nation.
Ann Coulter, desperate to be relevant, opened her yap,
Spouting her usual hateful rhetoric and claptrap,
When what to my wondering eyes did I see done,
But President Obama stepping off Air Force One,
With Michelle by his side and a radiant smile,
He invited me to stay awhile (and listen).His supporters stood up and cheered at his name,
They knew by his presence that he’d just changed the game:
“Now, Tapper! now Tweety! now Mitchell and Blitzer!
Listen, O’Reilly! listen Todd! listen Halperin and Cooper!
You’re guarding our democracy, so do your damn job!
Or Americans will understand it’s them you have robbed!”
He spoke of hope, as he is wont to do,
Urging everyone to vote early and vote blue;
The crowd roared in approval as his rhetoric soared
He didn’t need to convince anyone as they were already on board–
We all know it’s important to vote down ticket
A President Clinton needs a Congress that’s with it.
As I watched my president, rapt in his words,
He looked straight at me, making sure he was heard.
He lost the smile from his face and became stern,
He told me that a win had to be earned;
I inferred he wanted me to stay strong,
Otherwise, so many things could go wrong.
I felt the panic bubble inside me as I thought of President Trump!
I was so close to the ledge, but I refused to jump!
If PBO could put up with the shit for eight years,
The least I could do was fight off my fears;
He and Michelle have been models of class,
Looking at them is a good kick in my flat yellow ass;
When the opposition went low, the Obamas went high
They performed their duties enthusiastically with nary a sigh.
Every time I see and hear them, I swell up with pride,
When it’s time for them to leave, I know I’ll have cried;
As for this election, it’s so important to vote
Who are we as a country? We better take note;
Either we’re for everyone, as diverse as we are,
Or we go back in time, when no one was on par,
I am for a future in which my niece is cherished,
And one in which our planet does not perish;
If you’re with me, make sure you vote tomorrow/today,
Then, to your beloved young ones, you can say.
When the line was drawn, you chose the right side of herstory–
Vote for Clinton and let’s get this victory!
Why did I do that? I don’t know. I started it, and then, my OCD wouldn’t let me stop. You’re welcome.
More serious, I want you to know that if you’re in line to vote when the poll closes, they have to let you vote. Do not leave the line! The ACLU has made a voter’s guide to intimidation. Please peruse as needed. xkcd.com has a few links that might be useful, too. Minnesotans, if you need a sample ballot, you can find it at the SoS website. Don’t forget that we have a great shot at taking back the Senate and an outside chance of flipping the House. Find your fucking polling place here. Minnesota has same day voting registration. See what you need to register tomorrow so you can vote.
Also, if you’re in Minnesota, don’t forget your local choices matter as much if not more than your national votes do. For example, Natalie Hudson is running to retain her MN Supreme Court seat, which she was appointed to by Gov. Mark Dayton, against Michelle MacDonald, who was previously arrested for a DWI as she was running for the same seat in 2014. Previously to that, she was endorsed by the GOP. Hudson, on the other hand, has an impressive resume, believes in respecting voters, and has worked within the community. She was endorsed for the primaries by the Strib. They say she is the clear choice for the seat, and they are right.
I’ll probably blog more tomorrow as voting is happening and returns are coming in. But for now, I’m going to end this post here. I hoped you enjoyed my impromptu poem. GO VOTE TOMORROW/TODAY IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY.