Underneath my yellow skin

Sex and dating, dating and sex, part eight

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I’ve decided that I want to do ten posts about this topic, so three to go. Why? Because. This is one way my neurodivergent brain works, by the way. It insists on making patterns when there aren’t any. I know that’s normal to some extent with everyone, but my brain does it to a bothersome degree. I know it’s going to happen at some point, but I’m powerless to stop it. It’s easier to go with it and let it wear itself out–or not. Some of my obsessions continue whereas others are left in the dust.

One thing I’m working on is being not ashamed about the weird way my brain works. Look. I know I’m a freak. I’ve known it since I was a kid, even if I could not articulate it. It’s interesting. There is someone in the Discord I’m in who is clearly neurodivergent and not at all interested in masking. Yes, it’s a ‘he’, which is significant. He has upset/offended several people in the Discord, including me because of the way he’s phrased things.

He likes to state his opinion as if it’s fact, and many of them are inflammatory. I’m not against it, but I also think that you should have some care as to the feelings of other people. It’s hard for me to say because I’m too much to the other side. As an AFAB, I was taught to always care about other people’s feelings first. That’s not good, either, but I do think there needs to be a balance.

It’s frustrating because this person, let’s call him Jack, makes me want to defend him on some occasions, not because I necessarily agree with his viewpoint, but because I don’t like groupthink. All groups have it, and this is not the worst at it, by far, but there is a slight stifling that goes on that I do not approve of.

There are times when I eye a conversation and decide not to wade into it. Sometimes, it’s because I’m not up for an argument, and sometimes, it’s because I know that my opinion is so out there, it’s not going to be welcomed. Therefore, I’m self-censoring, which is not ideal. It’s what I do much of the time, though.

I do envy Jack for not giving a shit about how he says things, but I also think he needs to think a bit. He tries to defend himself by saying it’s how he and his friends talk. Well, we’re not his friends. Also, that’s a bad excuse for being a jackhole. Even if it’s not deliberate, it’s still off-putting.

I don’t know where I draw the line between being yourself and being a jerk, but he goes well past that line. Also, again, it’s dudes who are allowed to be their authentic selves while women and AFAB people are more penalized for not fitting in.

In Jack’s case, it’s also because he’s mostly online and on the younger side. And he hangs out with people just like him (I’m guessing the predominance of them are guys, too). It’s easy to think if everyone around you thinks the way you do, everyone in general does as well.

People have been very impatient and brusque with him. Neurotypicals, I mean. Or more specificially, people who are not autistic (since autism and ADHD are different things). I can often see what Jack is trying to say, but do I want to defend him? Sometimes. Othertimes, he makes me angry, too. Especially when he talks as if he’s the authority on America (he’s not from this country and doesn’t live in it).


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Dating, sex, and tech, part seven

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Apparently, I have more to say about dating, sex, and tech. Techs in the city? Text in the city? Oh, wait. It’s Sex AND the City. Whatever. I never watched the showl/movie?/whatever, anyway. This is my post from yesterday in which I talk about what I thought was going to happen in my life versus what I really wanted to happen in my life.

Today, I had my Taiji Zoom class. It’s in the basement of a church that is like a concrete bunker. My teacher uses a headset so we online can hear her. Without fail, at some point, the connection goes out. We may be able to see her, but we can’t hear her. Or vice-versa. This is usually when she switches from using her headset to not using it, which she does after ne do meditation. She takes off the headset during meditation, which makes sense. For whatever reason, when plugging the headset back in, it totally disconnects her from the internet.

Sometimes, it’s because she accidentally hits a button on her headset. Other times, who knows? Tech is going to tech.

I will say on my end, I had a few months of frustration with my audio when attending the Zoom classes. It was after a Zoom update, of course. I fucking hate updates because for every positive update, there’s two to three unintended negative consequences. Also, I really don’t need updates every month. Maybe keep it to once a quarter.

Of course I want my computer to run as smoothly as possible, but I hate it when the negatives outweighs the positives. And it’s often the case of , “How the fuck do I return this to the way it was? Fuck if I know!”

By the way, I’m playing a game called, Birdigo, by John August and Corey Martin. They say it’s inspired by Wordle and Balatro; it’s simple and addictive. However, it would not accept the word ‘fuck’, which made me lift an eyebrow. Really? ‘Fuck’ isn’t in the dictionary? I was very disappointed by that.

Anyway, back to my computer issues. Suddenly, after a Zoom update, my audio did not work in Zoom. It worked just fine the week before. I fiddled with my settings, and they said that they could hear me, but I was extremely quiet.

The next week, I realized that I was somehow had two Zooms open. One was the app and one was the in-browser Normally, I used the in-browser, but it didn’t automatically come up like it used to. Now, it was the app that came up, but I didn’t use the app. Therefore, there was no audio through the app. The audio would only come through the browser.

This took two sessions to figure out. I checked it after class, and it was correct. I had no idea why the app was opening since I did not use the app and did not want to use the app. I only used the browser, but Zoom didn’t like that. It wanted me to use the app, probably so it could get my details.


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Dating and tech, part six

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Just when I thought I would have a tech issue-free day….I will say it was not anything big, nor, sadly was it unexpected. It was just my internet deciding to go out for a minute. For no reason. It does this once every few weeks. Sometimes, it’s the internet actually going out for a minute. Other times, it’s just my computer decided not to be connected. The latter is infinitely more frustrating and annoying because if my connection is good, then I should be able to internet.

Fortunately, it usually clears up in a few minutes, and today was no exception.

Let’s talk more about dating! As I have talked about in past, the one thing I appreciate the older I get is that I have a firmer idea of what is acceptable in a partner and what isn’t. It’s interesting to me how different it is for me than it is for most normies.

When I was a kid, I thought I’d grow up, gett married, and have children. Happily ever after and the rest of our lives, etc. To death do us part and all that jazz. It didn’t fill me with joy, but I was indoctrinated brought up to believe that it was the only path for a young woman. It wasn’t even implicit–my mother flat out said that the job of a woman was to have children. When I told her I didn’t want them, she said it didn’t matter what I wanted–it was my duty. She straight up said it!

I was twenty-two when I realized that I didn’t want them. So hard. Like, it was the thing I wanted least in the world. Me dying twice and coming back? Preferable to having children. Of course, I did come back, so that makes me biased, but still. It was such a relief to realize I didn’t actually have to have children, no matter how much my mother pressured me to do so.

Here’s my post from yesterday in which I talked more about my tech issues than anything else. Look. I live online. If I can’t access my computer, it’s a big deal. Yes, I’m very lucky that I have a laptop and a desktop so I can go to one if the other isn’t working, but I prefer doing some stuff on my desktop and some stuff on my laptop, so I highly prefer both to be working.

Around the same time I realized I did not want children, I also discovered that I was sexually attracted to women. And now, to people of any or no gender. Gender doesn’t matter. We like to say race is a construct, and so is gender. That’s not what this post is about, though, so I’ll move past that with dificulty.

Let’s talk about now. I am tired. I’m tired of the hatred of my LGBTQ+ kinfolk, and I just don’t have the will to deal with it any longer. Which means–no cishetdudes for me. It’s too much like all the isms 101, and I don’t have the patience for that. I mean, I never have, but it’s really gone now.


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More about dating…and tech issues, part five

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Day three? Four? Something like that of tech issues. This time, it’s completely self-inflicted, which doesn’t make it any less frustrating. In fact, it’s more frustrating because why the hell did I do that? If only I hadn’t done that! Here’s what happened.

A couple days ago, I accidentally kicked my PC tower. Hard. It was fine, but I had to make sure all the cables were plugged in firmly. They seemed to be, and all was well. Today, suddenly, my PC stopped working. Just out of the blue. I immediately deduced that it had something to do with the accidental kick I had given the PC tower a few days ago.

I checked cables. All seemed fine. I checked the power strip. Also seemed fine. I unplugged it and replugged it in, and then I turned it off and on again. It was all fine. It was late at night (for normies), so I didn’t want to call my brother. I knew that he went to bed by eleven/midnight, and I didn’t know how long it would take me to fix the issue. Though I had a hunch that he would know what it was.

I did some more hunting around to see what I might have missed. I finally realized that I was looking at the wrong cord when I was checking out the  power cord. The actual power cord had come unplugged on the PC tower side, so I plugged it back in. Did that take care of the problem? Yes! My computer booted up, and it was fine. Except.

Why wasn’t my second monitor working? I futzed with the settings, but my computer said that the second monitor was not available. What the hell? I was mad at myself for kicking my PC,  even though it was an accident.

I checked the cable on the back of my second monitor, and the other end was unplugged. I knew it had to go into my PC tower, but I had no idea where. By the shape of the cable, I only seemed to have one option. I plugged it in, but it wasn’t the one. I Googled it, and it said not to plug into the HDMI at the top of the PC tower, but to use the port that was lower. I could not see another HDMI port, but I knew there had to be one.

I got onto the ground with my phone (as my flashlight), and I found the right HDMI port. Finally! Everything was back to the way it should be. Except. About five minutes later, several YouTube videos started playing at the same time. I had about a hundred tabs open in roughly thirty different bunches. I had to quickly go through them to find the ones that were playing. Of course, it was nearly the last bunch that was the culprit, so I got rid of almost all my YouTube tabs. It doesn’t bother me because I’m sure I’ll have a hundred open again in no time flat.


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Sexy times (or not), part four

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I’m back to talk more about sex, baby. Let’s talk about you and me. Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be. Is that the lyrics? It’s close enough. I don’t feel like Googling it. I like the song, though, and I may include it as the video below. I loved that Salt-N-Pepa were so frank and open about sex in 1991. And from a female point of view in rap. I have to give them props for being pioneers, and I’m so happy that they made the Hall of Fame.

You know what? They have a song I like even better than Let’s Talk About Sex. It’s not Shoop, though that’s a great song, too. Nor Whatta Man ft. En Vogue (also a terrific song). It’s None of Your Business, and I found a video of them doing it live on the Jon Stewart (!) show. I love that they’re telling off everyone who scolds women (and, yes, specifically women) for having casual sex and those who are harsh on sex workers.

I love that they are sex-positive and very unapologetic about it (at least in their music). There were very few female rappers and DJs at that time (and still, sadly). Their songs are catchy, and their hit with En Vogue is truly something special. I loved seeing that many badass (and hot) women strutting their stuff.

Here is my post from yesterday in which I wandered all over the place talking about whatever came to mind as it pertained to sex or technology.

Here is something about sex that I don’t get–why I’m supposed to feel guilty about enjoying it. I grew up in a very restrictive, shaming, fundamental Evangelical household that made it seem like having sex outside marriage was a Mortal Sin tthat would cast my soul into Hell for all eternity. Especially for women. That’s a very important part of the shaming process. Making sure the woman feels like she’s total trash if she has sex.

Only before marriage, mind. Once he puts a ring on it, then the heavens part, angels come down to sing Hallelujah, and then you get immediately pregnant. That’s the only reason to have sex in the eyes of the devout.

I was fed that bullshit all my childhood. When I was dating in my late teens/early twenties, I had what I bagan to call everything-but–meaning anything that fell technically short of actual penis in vagina. This was a known thing In fact, I didn’t do this, but it became a well-known Christian thing for girls to have anal sex as a way to avoid giving up their vaginal virginity. Which, I mean….

Side note: virginity is not a real thing, anyway. It’s just a thin piece of skin that not every AFAB person even has, and there are so many ways for it to break. In addition, it’s such an antiquated way of looking at sex–and so sexist. So many young women thinking they were ruined or broken just because that little piece of skin was no longer there.


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Sexy times in my future? (Part three)

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Sex. Dating. I have more thoughts on this, but before I get there, I want to touch a bit more on technology and when it doesn’t work. Facebook rolled out the encryption in chat thing, and because I cleared my cache, it now won’t recognize me in one specific chat–the only one I use on a regular basis. (With my bestie, K.) I did what I could to try to access the almost year’s worth of messages I can’t get, including ones from this week, but in the end, I gave up.

I followed all the tutorials telling me how to get it. I finally was able to use the code to get into the chat, and a portion of the messages were still missing. That’s when I realized that it wsas Meta being Meta (ughhhhhhhh), so I mentally  shrugged and moved on. I was still irritated, mind, but what could I do about it?

Back to dating. Here’s my post from yesterday in which I talk about dating–and technology.

I am flummoxed when it comes to dating because gender is such an anathema to me. Being queer, many of the hetero norms just don’t matter to me. I mean, they probably wouldn’t even if I were straight, but they’re truly meaningless. When you have two people (or more) of the same gender (or different varying genders), the old rules for hets don’t make any sense. In fact, when you look at the norms through queer lenses, so many of them fall by the wayside.

As a girl/woman, I heard the following: “Don’t ask a boy out. Let him do the asking.” “Let the guy pay.” “Don’t ever beat a guy in–” well, anything, really. So many of the rules for women were to make yourself as small as possible and not take up any noticeable room. Cater to the guy’s needs/desires/sensibilities, and don’t you dare have any needs of your own.

Don’t be high maintenance. Don’t be needy. Don’t eat anything too _________ fill in the blank with anything but salad. Oh, and don’t offer to pay. Apparently, that’s emasculating.

It all boiled down to, “Be a living, breathing doll who has no opinions of her own.”

Even if I could do all that (and I couldn’t), why the fuck would I want to? I read The Rules when it came out because I wanted a laugh. Instead, I was horrified by how antiquated the advice was (and it was a runaway best seller), and the last sentence sent a chill down my spine. It was something like, “And the rules don’t end once you get married because you have to put in the work to keep the man who’s biggest benefit is that he’s breathing.” That’s paraphrased, yes, but it was that sentiment.

I remember thinking, “Oh, great. I never get a breather?”

By the way, when the next edition or the sequel came out, there was a note stating that one of the authors got a divorce. That made me laugh uproariously as I admired her chutpah.


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Let’s talk (more) about sex, baby! (Part two)

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Let’s talk more about dating in the Year of Everything Sucks, 2026. I’m only being slightly facetious, but, let’s just say that I’m about getting some because the world is on fire and we make not make it to 2030. If the world is going to end, I would like to at least get laid one more time on so I can go out with a smile on my face.

Side note: I just did spent an hour having to deal with a frustrating issue of my own making (tech issue). It’s something that I had a hard time  finding an answer to, even though  I didn’t think it would be that difficult. It was a pretty straightforward mess (again, of my own making), and I could not imagine that I was the only person to have issues with it.

Here’s the thing about tech issues, though. If you know what the problem is and have a shrewd idea of how to go about solving it, finding the particular solution is easy. The problem I had should have been easy to find a solution to because I could describe it succinctly. I even had an idea of what I had to do to fix it, but I could not find the specific way of doing so.

I even called my brother (apologizing because it was late for him), but he was going to bed so he did not have access to his computer. He told me what I needed to find (which was what I thought I needed to do, just not sure where to find it specifically).

In the end, I was able to clear up the mistake (I think), but then had to do something completely different to get back to what I had originally. That took me over an hour total, and it was so frustrating. Tech is great! Until it’s not.

Actually, this all started because I was trying to log into OKCupid (which is relevant to today’s post). I could not get in, so I cleared the cache in order to see if that was the problem. No, it wasn’t. That led to my bad choice that led to me wasting an hour of my life looking for a solution.

Ahem. I found out that if you don’t use your profile in OKCupid in two years, they get rid of it. That’s why I could not sign in. I started signing up for another profile, but then I just got tired. That’s how I often get when it comes to things like that. I am super low-energy, especially when it comes to doing things I consider distasteful. Making a dating profile falls under that category.

Anyway! Back to my sleeping hapbits. I do not like cuddling as I sleep, and I’m very self-conscious about how loudly I snore. I finished the last post by talking about that very topic, so let’s keep going.


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Let’s talk about dating, sex, and more

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I want to talk more about dating, but not necssary about labels. I mean, the topic may come up, but that’s not the main purpose of this post.

The last two times I thought about dating to the point of composing the ad in my head, the world got in my way. The first time was in early February, 2020. I probably don’t need to say what happened that pushed the thought of dating out of my mind completely. In case you were in your once-in-a-lifetime coma at that time (I can juoke because I was in one myself), there was a little thing called a pandemic that was in full swing by early March.

There was Zoom dating during the pandemic, but that was not of interest to me. It seems like it combined all the worst parts of dating (heavy focus on looks, talking to someone you don’t know for at least fifcteen minutes if not longer, and small talk). I  mean, it’s not all that much different than going to a cafe with someone and having a coffee, but it feels much different.

Additionally, all I want is sex, which is not doable via Zoom. At least not actual skin touching skin sex. Which is what I want. If I just want to get off, then I could do that on my own. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, if it’s just about me getting off, I can do that just fine by myself. In fact, I am the best at getting me off. I can do it in three sceonds if I want. If I’m going to be with someone else, it’s about the exploration and the physical interaction.

Look. Let’s be real and honest with each other. I have no interest in dating for the sake of dating or a long-term relationship. If I am going to go through the effort of dating and getting to know someone(s), then I’m going to eventually want sex. I’m specifically looking for booty is what I’m saying.

After the vax was created and I got both my shots (and several weeks afeter to let it sink in), I started to cautiously go out again. I’ve mentioned this several times, but I’ll restate it once again. I went to Cubs to start shopping for food again, the local Thai place with my brother, and (the worst decision in the world), Target. The last was a nightmare with so many people, the vast majority of theem unmasked.

This was around June/July. I started thinking about dating again–which was nearer to the end of August. Then, I got incredibly tired–the most tired I’ve been in my life–and that’s saying something. I’m tired most of the time after a lifetime of not sleeping well or much at all. This time, though, I was utterly exhausted. As in, I could not get out of bed exhausted.

Right before that, I started thinking about dating again. I was planning my ad, and then, I got hit with the medical crisis of my life. As in, being in the hospital unconscious for a week with the premise that I was not going to wake up.

That’s not the weirdest thing about the whole experience, by the way. You would think it was, but it wasn’t. I don’t know why that didn’t shake me–probably because I was drugged out of my mind. I was so strung out, and it felt great. For the first time, I could truly understand why people did drugs (I’ve never done them before) because I wavs flying high–and feeling no pain.

That’s not the point of this post, though. The point is that the last two times I thought about dating, the world said, “NOPE.” Not only did it say no, it said no in the most brutal way possible. I have started thinking I wanted to try to date again, but I”m worried. I’ll admit it. I don’t believe that bad luck comes in threes, but I don’t not believe it, either. More to the point, I’m not sure I want to test that theory.


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Last day of May–and more about labels, part eight

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Let’s talk more about labels and sexism. Oh, that wasn’t what we were talking about? Oh well. It’s what I want to talk about now. In the Discord I’m in, there was a discussion about boycotts and calling out actors for problematic ideas/behavior. This isn’t the first time this convo has happened, and I heave a sigh every time it comes up.

Here’s why. I don’t think cancel culture is a thing, first of all. If it were, then there would be waaaaaaaaay less abusers in pop culture. I mean, look at Harvey Weinstein. And Rupert Murdoch. And Matt Lauer. And, and, and….I could go  on for hours listing men who were known abusers and weren’t stopped. Hell, they were enabled, encouraged, and coddled. Let’s not forget the most famous of them all, Jeffrey Epstein. No, he wasn’t strictly Hollywood, but I can guarantee that there were many men in Hollywood who were visitors of Epstein’s island back when it was in operation.

Here’s the argument: No one is perfect and for everyone who is targeted for bad behavior/thoughts, there are hundreds of others like him. In this case, it was Henry Cavill and what he said during the MeToo movement. Some people want him in the Elden Ring movie. Other people pointed out his gross ideas, and, apparently, he’s a jerk to people he considers under him at work.

I have not liked him since his MeToo comments, but I don’t mention it because, quite frankly, I’m just tired. Plus, I’ve never really liked him nor do I find him attractive. He’s another I can see why others found him attractive, but he just did nothing for me. Once he stated his repugnant ideas during MeToo, he became waaaaaay less  attractive, even visually.

More to the point, he sounded as if he was in his eighties as he droned on and on about the days when men were men and women were fish to be caught. Women knew their place, damn it! They were to be chased and wooed. He actually said that, and I had to look at the year again and how old he was.

Besides the grossness of what he said, I was struck by how gender rigid his ideas were. Again, I thought they were fading away, but sadly, there seem to be many people who still believe that bullshit. Which is yet another reason I have no use for gender. I didn’t see why I should have to sit home at demurely tending to my knitting while I waited in vain for that special boy to muster up his courage and ask me out.

Why the hell shouldn’t I ask someone out? Also, being queer really underscores how silly all that is because with two people of the same gender, someone has to make the first move. But, that’s why people ask who the man and women are in the relationship. Because they can’t fathom anything other than the standard (and tired) heterosexual gender roles.

A few years ago, I was in a forum where a single woman asked if single women could be friends with married men. Most people (mostly women) said it was alright as long as–and then they listed a bunch of rules. Like only going out with both of them, not talknig about the man’s relationship with him, and other things like tthat. Most of them were assuming that they became friends after the man got married, by the way. I don’t think that matters, but that’s what they assumed.

This was last year or the year before at the earliest, so we’re talking about recent. We’re not talking about when I was in my twenties, thirties, or even forties. This was the mentality when I was in my twenties, and I had hoped it would get better by now. Sigh.

There were a few who said it didn’t matter the gender and there should be no different rules. This is where I stand. I have two besties, one man and one woman (the latter is more like me in that gender isn’t that important to her). I don’t treat them any differently based on their genders. I talk about the same kind of things. The differences are because of the interest they have, not because of their genders.

I’ve talked about both of their romantic relationships with them. I’ve talked about sex with both of them. I think both are very attractive people. I consider them both to be cloner than friends, but not romantic partners. And I don’t think I need to set any restrictions with one or the other based on their gender.

I distinctly remember one woman going on a rant about how men and women could not be friends and how nonbinary people didn’t count because something something terribly queerphobic. She said that in her marriage, her husband didn’t have any female friends because SHE WAS THE QUEEN AND WHAT WOULD HE NEED ANY OTHER WOMAN FOR?! She actually capped something in her screed, and it was really cringeworthy.

I mean, how terribly sad and insecure she must be to cut her husband off from more than half the population. There were fa few other women in that forum who’ve said that they don’t personally have male friends becaause they found it too much trouble (as married women). I don’t get it, but that’s not offensive. because of course, they can do wahtever they want with their own lives.

It’s jsut the dismissive attitude that no men and women can be friends that chaps my hide. Plus, how terribly narrow-minded of that person to think that just because SHE can’t be friends with any single man, it means that no one can.

One of my (male) exes once said that every male friend I had wanted to sleep with me. It was certainly true of him, but it’s not true in general. I have had several male friends who have not wanted to sleep with me and a few female friends who would have been happy to warm my bed.

Back to the antiquated idea that men and women can’t be friends. It’s bullshit.

Heh. I think that’s all I really need to say about that, but I do have a few more tihngs to say. I have always had friends of all different genders. I like people based on their personalty first and foremost. I don’t really care about their bits unless I’m going to be handling said bits and I only care then so I know how they want me to handle their bits. I like all bits! I’m an equal opportunity bit-handler.

I don’t know why it scares/angers some people so much–the idea that people of all and any genders can be friends. Well, actually, I do. It’s the same reason some women got so mad at me when I was in my twenties for not having/not wanting to have children. It’s beacuse it shakes up the status quo and makes them questions their own decisions.

Well that went in a wild direction. More tomorrow.

 

Labels and dating, part seven

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I’m back! And this time I am definitely going to talk about dating and labels. For sure. I am not going to veer off onto another topic and talk about that for over a thousand words. That is not like me at all, and I won’t deviate from the path at all in this post, either.

In the last post, I actually touched on dating, which was what I’ve wanted to talk about for the past few posts. If I were in my ideal world, this is the ad I would write. “I”m looking for a fuck buddy or three. Hit me up if you’re interested.”

That’s the basic gist of what I want, but, of course, we don’t live in an ideal world so I have to qualify that statement to get closer to what I really want. First of all, no Republicans. That is still my unberakable will not tolerate. Even more so now than when I dated thirty years ago, just no. Anyone who is a Republican in this day and age is on the wrong side of history. There is no moderation in today’s Republican Party. They are trying to destroy me and my kin; why the hell would I want to be a part of that?

Back when Marriage Equality was being debated, some Republicans were clutching their pearls and bleating about how uncivilized the queers were being in what they (we) said. “Why can’t we be civil about this?” They would say in earnest.

Because, motherfuckers, there’s nothing civil about trying to classify me as not a human being deserving of basic human rights. Our words may be uncivil, but your beliefs are worse. Besides, it’s not as if they would listen to us if we just used nicer words. Believe me, I’ve being fighting this fight for thirty years along with several other concerning civil rights. We are in danger of losing many of the rights we have gained over the last few decades, which breaks my heart.

And it’s made me draw a hard line in the sand. If you’re part of the current Republican Party, then you’re actively against me as a human being with equal rights to you. I do not have to date that if I don’t want to, and I most definitely do not want to.

By the way, the ‘both sides are bad’ people irritate the fuck out of me, too. No, both sides are not equally bad. I’m not saying either side is particularly great, but there is one side that is actively trying to strip me of my civil rights. There is one party that was behind the occupation of Minneapolis and the  terror it wrought on my home state.

This is something I touched on previous posts. When it comes to dating, people are allowed to be as discriminatory as possible. In fact, it always makes me chuckle  darkly when people tell me I have to give someone a chance. Interestingly, men usually say it with the belief that women and perceived women don’t have the right to turn down anyone who shows interest in them. The woman should be flattered! Especially when she’s not conventionally attractive.

The women who used to tell me I should give any guy a shot were coming at it from a different point of view–that any man was better than none. But they also believed that any man who had the courage to ask me out deserved a chance. “You never know!”


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