Underneath my yellow skin

Life is good

It’s 9:00 a.m. and I’m watching the snow fall steadily outside my window. The first real snowfall of the winter, though there were a few flakes on Friday. The trees, bushes, and everything outside is coated with the white stuff. Watching snow fall is meditative and soothing to my soul.

Shadow has had his second breakfast after his third-to-last syringe shot. That was a rough one, which is probably attributed to the fact that he’s so close to 100%. I bought a bunch of things to tempt him at the co-op, and he gobbled down the pate I bought there. Or as they call it, the ‘cate’ (with an accent on the e). Right now, he is sitting by his water bowl. I don’t know why, but that’s his life right now. Just as I typed that, he left. Who knows why cats do what they do? The point is that he is eating heartily. His first breakfast was two-thirds a can (small) of his normal wet food.

Side note; I am exhausted. This last week has been a whirlwind, and my body is letting me know that it is not happy with me. It’s also because I ate a bunch of things I normally wouldn’t, which is a no-no when you control your diet as I do. I have tried to be up early enough to feed my cat and then have some space between that and giving him meds.

He has been devouring his food–once he actually starts eating. I’ve been having to get creative in order to get him to eat, which is why I think his nose is stuffy. Once he takes that first bite, he usually gobbles down whatever is in front of him. There are things he prefers to the others, and I’m trying to figure out what is his favorite.

In general, he does not like things that have been refrigerated. I can heat them up by putting hot water on them, but he’s not pleased if I microwave them. I know that I’m catering to him, but I am fine with that right now. Plus, he has lost over four pounds in the last decade. He can afford to gain some of that back.

I feel guilty for not taking him to the vet before this, and I’m relieved that he’s been given a clean bill of health (beside this cold or whatever it is he’s dealing with). He’s an older gentleman cat, and I resolve to take him to the vet at least once a year for a checkup.

My body is acting up on me. I think it’s finally relaxing after a week of chaos, but it’s not happy about the stress. In addition, I ratcheted my sleep schedule dramatically in one direction, so my body is not happy about that, either. I used to sleep from 2 a.m. to 10 a.m. Now, it’s about 11 p.m. to 6 a.m. or so. More or less. It was in part to match with K while she was here and also to be able to give Shadow his antibiotics at 8 a.m. and 8 p.m.

It’s been hard for me not to watch him like a hawk. Things that would have been deemed normal before he was sick, now, I think, “Why is he doing this?!?” Such as sitting by his water bowl and staring away from it. I will say, though, that he did that while my parents were here every time we ate. I have no idea why, but it’s actually pretty cute.

I have been worried that he would hate me for giving him meds (syringe, antibiotics). I have tried to come up with the best way to do it. I was talking to my brother yesterday and he said that he ‘sat’ on his cat (from the back) so she couldn’t squirm away (he didn’t really sit on her. He just put her between his legs with her facing away from him). Then he poked her in the mouth with his finger so she would open her mouth, then he would either quirt the syringe or shove in the pill.

I figured out that scruffing Shadow (grabbing him by the back of the neck, mimicking a mother cat holding him in her mouth) and cradling him, then shoving the syringe in his mouth before quickly squirting as soon as he opened his mouth worked best. At least it did until this morning. I hadn’t filled the syringe properly so I had to do it twice.

That’s why  I gave him that second breakfast. He ate it without hesitation, even though he had eaten so much earlier. It seems that his appetite is back with a vengeance, and I’m going to keep feeding him more than I normally would. His elimination has been fine,  which is a relief. That was what was wrong in the first place, so him getting back on track has been a huge load off my shoulders.

I am still waiting, though, as if for the other shoe to drop. Intellectually, I know that he’s on the mend and almost 100%. Emotionally, it’s been rough. Animals can’t tell you what’s going on, so it’s hard to figure out.

Side note II: It’s snowing again. I’m loving it. It’s so pretty and makes the world seem…better. I’ve decided to put the temperature for the heater at 65 to warm Shadow’s old bones. I like it at 62 during the day and 60 at night. I bumped it to 68 while K was here because she’s a hot gal whereas I am a cold person.

Something about snow just makes me feel warm inside. I’m not a holiday person, but this is what makes me happy. My brother has invited me to his house for Thanksgiving. I stopped going years ago, and this is the first time I am actually considering going. Now that he is divorced, I can breathe in his house again. I love my niece and my nephews, but I could not deal with his ex-wife. Not only is she an unrelentingly negative person, she pinged all my own anxieties. It’s like my mother who talks constantly out loud. Some things can be kept to yourself. My ex-SIL was not a talker, but she would snap every now and again. I could feel sympathetic because I used to have a running commentary in my mind–and it was very negative.

I’m not a positive Pollyanna now, but I am much more grateful about my life than I was before my medical crisis. I am still snarky and sarcastic, but there’s a warmth to me that wasn’t there before. I’ll continue to enjoy the snow as it gently falls and marvel about what a miraculous duo I make with my cat.

Leave a reply