I’ve always had men as friends. I get along well with men for reasons that are different than why I like women. This was in the days before we were aware that there were more than two genders, and I’m still sorting out gender for myself.
It’s weird to me that there are still people who believe men and women can’t be friends. It was strange to me because I’ve always had male friends. I get them in a way I sometimes don’t get women because they’re, in general, less complex than women. (Insert sexism and societal expectations of genders here. No, I’m not going to go in depth about it because I’ve written about it so much in the past.)
Let me rephrase that. I love women. I love the camaraderie and shared experiences. When there is not some Alpha Female bullshit going on. We’ve all heard of Alpha Male behavior, but there is also Alpha Female behavior. It’s different, but just as annoying. It’s when a woman is constantly judging you for what you’re wearing, your weight, your makeup, your clothing, whom you’re dating, etc. It can be hilarious when I simply ignore the behavior because it enrages the other person.
It was discouraging in college, though, that some women got upset with me for having male friends. One woman exclaimed that all the guys liked me. I retorted it was because I treated them like normal human beings. I never got the ‘I’m going to treat you differently based on your gender’ (in terms of common decency, I mean) mentality, and guys liked me for it.
Side Note: My boyfriend at the time told me that every guy who was a friend wanted to get into my pants. I dismissed him at the time, and I still don’t think it’s true. Yes, some of them might have wanted to fuck me, but it’s reductive to say that men and women can’t be friends simply because of their differing genitalia (again, going by what we assumed at the time, which was thirty years ago).
Here’s the thing. I am genderqueer and queer in general. I am attracted to people of all different genders, so I would not be able to have any friends if the rule was you can’t be friends with people of the genders you’re attracted to.