Underneath my yellow skin

Tag Archives: immune system

Learning to exhale

Day Five of feeling like shit. Utter shit. Day One (the day of the shot), ironically, is the day that I feel the best. Yes, my arm is all hot, swollen, and burny, but that’s it. It’s Day Two when the shit hits the fan. Chills and sweats alternating (and normally, I do neither), and being utterly exhausted. Not just tired, but exhausted like I was before I ended up in the hospital.

Today, I’m slightly better than yesterday. I did end up doing the Cane Form and…the Fan Form yesterday? And broke out in a sweat. I emailed my teacher to confirm about the sweating thing. She said when you’re sick, yes. You should do Taiji if you’re lightly sweating. When you break out in a heavy sweat, though, you should stop. I just emailed her to ask if it was the same for when I get the chills.

I also have had to use take my migraine pills (two of them) twice in the past four days. I’ve only used them once or twice since I came home from the hospital. Before this week, I mean. And when I say migraine pills, I just mean Migraine Excedrin.

I have not done any weapon forms today. I feel worse than yesterday in some ways and better than others. I have done stretching and a bit of bagua–oh, and some one-posture drills in taiji, but that’s it. My teacher was emphatic about taking it easy. She said that the weapons would be there for me when I got better.

That is the gist of Taiji in a nutshell. It’s there for you when you need it. It doesn’t need you to push yourself for it. In fact, it prefers that you don’t. It’s about putting in as little effort as possible, and when I’m sick, thatt’s so very little.

I was talking to Ian about him being sick. He has some kind of crud from being rundown, and he’s miffed about it. Why? Because he has a great immune system and does not get sick. My brother is the same way. He does not consider a cold being sick, and he gets a sneeze once every five years or so. He did get Covid, however, which makes sense because he’s out and about all the time. This was before the vax was available and while he wore an N95 at all times back then, he was exposed when he went to eat with clients. Outdoors barbecue and one of them had Covid.

I was mad because he told me this as he stopped by to visit. He didn’t think to inform me before he came over. He hasn’t quite internalized that I have a shitty, shitty immune system–even though he’s seen what it can do to me. Not just me ending up in the hospital, but me getting bronchitis every few months before the pandemic. I rarely got the flu, however. It was just bronchial shit. My doctor once told me I had the lungs of a seventy year old–when I was in my thirties. So, yeah. Bad lungs.

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It’s COVID, baby

I woke up feeling like shit.

Of course, my first thought was that it was COVID, which is not something I  want to deal with. I know that most people who are triple vaxxed don’t react badly to having COVID, but
I have a shitty immune system. More to the point, I just went through a major health scare that started with walking non-COVID-related pneumonia.

That’s always in the back of my mind, obviously. I was feeling exhausted and skipped my Taiji class that day. I emailed my Taiji teacher to let her know that I had to skip class. That wasn’t that unusual for me, sadly, because of my shitty immune system. When we were in person, I missed classes once every three or four months, but that went way down once we went online.

During the pandemic, I may have missed one or two Zoom classes, but nothing like I did when I went to classes in person. That’s one reason I appreciated online classes–I rarely got sick. Maybe once every six months or so.

So, now that I’m feeling punk, I’m nervous. Yes, it may be an overreaction, but this was now my base. I am extremely tired–am I going to die? That was legit my first thought when I woke up this morning.

I bought and took the CRT. It’s negative. I will check again tomorrow. I’m glad. I will have to check it again tomorrow just in case, but it seems I’m negative. So it’s just something else.

I’m done for today. I hope I feel better soon.





































A new year and a newer me

look at my toofs!
So tired. Must sleep.

It’s the end of the year, so inevitably, thoughts turn to the next year and how I’m going to do things differently. Even though I am not a bit believer in holidays or ritualistic endeavors, there is something about the end of the year that makes me somber about time passing. Not as somber as my birthday, but somber nonetheless. This year has kinda sucked for me, mostly because of my own depression. There are external factors as well, but I do not want to go into those for this post. For now, I want to focus on my health, especially since it’s been so bad this year. A couple months sick, a few weeks not sick, then back to being sick. All of it lasting the past four months or so.

I have come to the conclusion that much of it is probably allergies. From my research, I have learned that allergy symptoms can seem a lot like cold symptoms. In addition, when one has as bad allergies as I do, it exhausts the immune system, thereby making it easier to catch colds. Right now, I’m still coughing and my nose is alternating between stuffy and runny. My ears are crusted over, and my throat is scratchy from time to time. I also have gobs of goo in my throat that make it hard to swallow.

This post is about the ways I’m going to try to better my health in the new year. First, a doctor’s appointment to get everything tested. Allergies because I haven’t had it done in a while (because the testing is so unpleasant. All those pricks swelling up and me feeling as if I can’t breathe. It is no fun at all). If that doesn’t bring up anything, then other testing. Maybe a sleep test because, yeah, me and sleep still aren’t friends.

I was listening to NPR, and they had Matthew Walker on again. He is a sleep scientist and a professor in neurology and psychology. He’s an enthusiastic proponent of sleep (and he has a lovely British accent. He talks about the negatives of sleep deprivation and the positives of getting enough sleep (at least eight hours a night). Which is fine and dandy, but what he doesn’t say is how to get eight hours of sleep a night. It’s frustrating as hell because I have tried almost everything under the sun, and the only time I’m able to get eight hours a night is when I’m sick.

I’ve written before how I existed on four hours of sleep a night for many years. Decades, even. And, yeah, I know that driving while sleep-deprived is worse than driving while drunk, but if I only drove when I was fully rested, I wouldn’t drive at all. With the help of taiji, I am currently up to six/six-and-a-half hours of sleep a night. Sometimes five, but mostly six. I would love for the dear doctor to tell me how the hell I’m supposed to get the other two to three hours.

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