Underneath my yellow skin

Tag Archives: reading people

Reading people for filth

I’m good at reading people. Not in the current vernacular and how I put it in the title (though I can do that as well. I just mostly keep it to myself), but in knowing them better than they know themselves. Back when I actually worked around people, I was able to tell when they were pregnant before they revealed it to other people. My best friend, too. We were at a bar, and I just blurted out that she was pregnant. She dismissed me because even though she and her husband were trying, it hadn’t been very long. I was right, however, and I was right about the birth gender. Oh, that’s the other part. I can say the birth gender about the baby as well. I have been wrong once out of a dozen times. And in that case, that person is now questioning their gender.

I was also able to call certain sports moments, too. Like the 12th inning of the BoSox, er, Yankees I think post-season game. When Big Papi stepped up to the home plate, I suddenly knew he was going to hit a homerun. I said it out loud to my mother, and then he did it. I also knew he was going to win the next game, though not how. My mom has joked that I could make a killing if I bet on games, but it doesn’t work that way. It only happens in the moment. Like, we were at a local tennis match and I automatically said, “Double fault” as the person served. It was a double fault. My mother demanded I do it again, but it wasn’t a conscious thought on my part.

I called that my party trick because while it’s amusing, it has no practical usage. And, that’s not really reading people, well, the sports part isn’t. That’s predicting the future. The pregnant part, though, is reading the person without meaning to. I don’t intend to figure out if someone is pregnant or not–it just happens. When I worked at the county, there was a woman I worked with. I looked at her and knew she was pregnant with a boy. I did not tell her, of course, because that would be creepy and weird. I left that job because it was always temporary, but my mother worked there. Two or three months later, she told everyone at work that she was pregnant–with a boy. My mother told me, and I was glad to have my confirmation.

My brother is having the time of his life living his teenage years. He never got to really date around so he’s doing that now. He dropped by last night to talk about it. He called me his therapist. Funnily, it doesn’t bother me when he does it the way it does when my mother does. It’s because he’s done so much for me. I can never repay the lengths he went to when I was in the hospital. When I tried to thank him for it, he shrugged and said, “We’re family. It’s what we do.” Which, yes, it is. However, not everyone does it so well and with nary a complaint. So if he wants advice while he chews over his dating life, I’m here for him!


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Let me tell you about yourself

My brother was over yesterday helping me with my new compy. I ordered Thai to thank him for his help. We were eating yellow curry (chicken and potato–outstanding!) when he said, “I thought about what you said a few weeks ago.” I looked at him expectantly because I didn’t remember what we talked about a few weeks ago. I mean, in general, yes, I could remember, but I wasn’t sure what he meant specifically.

“When you said I was probably somewhere on the spectrum, it made so many things clear.” Oh, damn. Yes, I had said something about him being on the spectrum, but I thought that was obvious. Like, he’s the stereotype of someone on the spectrum and his son was also clearly on the spectrum when he (the son) was very young.

I apologized to him because I normally don’t tell people about themselves. It’s not a nice thing to do and it can really freak people out. I understand that. I don’t like it when people think they know me better than I know myself (but it’s usually because they don’t) and I don’t want to do the same thing to other people (even though I do know them better). But for some reason, I thought he knew. We’d talked about it before, but perhaps it didn’t sink in. Or maybe the other times I didn’t tell him explicitly that he was on the spectrum. I’m pretty sure I have, but it doesn’t really matter.

He cut short my apology and said that he was glad I had said that because it had explained so many things. We recounted the ways it made sense. He’s not aware of feelings. I mean, he can tell broadly if someone is happy or sad, but not the more nuanced things like distraught versus upset. Miffed versus irritated. Giddy versus exuberant, etc. Nor can he always tell why someone is in that mood. He joked that all his sensitivity for emotions was given to me instead, which isn’t really a joke. I have double the dose and he has less than half the dose.

Other ways he looks like he’s on the spectrum: when he was younger, he could not look people in the eyes. Being very interested in mechanical things (taking things apart at a young age), being hyper-focused on one thing for hours. Some others I didn’t mention: not great social skills (though we’ve talked about that ad nauseam), fidgety, and being rigid on how things ‘should’ be done. To me, it was a textbook case.


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