I have been studying Taiji for 16 years. It’s the lazy scholar’s martial art. It’s also an internal martial art. It’s about exerting as little energy as you can for the biggest results. It’s gentle and good for your health. Anyone can do it with ease, and if done properly, it will not hurt at all. In fact, I’m in the best shape of my life now and it’s in thanks to Taiji. I will say that the weapons are more muscular, but even then, they are still definitely Taij–well, wait.
I have to be honest with you. The Taiji weapons I do are not, for the most part, strictly Taiji. The Cane Form, for example, was develaped by Master Liang when he was in the police. It was done with batons, of course. The Saber Form, I think it is, is from Xing Yi, another martial art. They are adapted to fit in with Taiji, but they are from other disciplines.
I love Taiji because it’s about being as lazy as possible. How many times can I say lazy? Lazy, lazy, lazy. I am a lazy person. I will say it loudly and proudly. Well, not proudly, but loudly, at the very least. I have much less energy than most people and for most of my life, I’ve been shamed for it.
Side note: I know that ‘laziness’ is an indication of ADHD and/or autism. Rather, people with ADHD have been called lazy all their lives. I have many of the qualities found in people with either or both. My brother is on the spectrum and my mother thinks she might be. My father is purely narcisstic, but that’s neither here nor there. Recently, I wondered if I could be on the spectrum because I have a very high EQ. I don’t seem to be able to find an answer to that.
Anyway, I’ve done a bit of Bagua throughout the years. When I could not do meditation, my teacher suggested walking the circle. That was when I realized that I was not a pacifist and that if someone wanted to come at me, I was going to defend myself. If it comes down to me or an opponent, it is damn well going to be me (who lives). I had a private lesson yesterday, and my teacher told me that the basics of Baguazhang were walking the circle. Single Palm and Double Palm Change, included. Walking the circle both forward and backward. That’s it, though. The founder of Bagua used Deerhorn Knives in his professional life, apparently. He was a tax collector for the emperor and used DeerHorn Knives to protect himself.
My teacher told me this was all that was taught. Then, you were told to take it and do whatevevr you wanted with the basics. That was Bagua! Ok, neat. Here’s what I observed from walking the circle and doing the single palm change. It’s a lot, ah, not harder than Taiji, but much more exertion. In Taiji, the goal is to keep everything in line and not stress out any part of your body. Bagua says, “Fuck all that. Fuck you while we’re at it.” I mean, it’s still an internal martial art so you’re not going to be throwing out a hip, but there is not the emphasis on keeping everything perfectly in alignment.
I don’t think I’m explaining this well,but I feel it more after practicing Bagua, with or without weapons. When you’re walking the circle, you have your arms up the whole time. You’re holding your arms in positions that have some tension, though you’re still trying to keep the shoulders down and relaxed. But I can tell you that my arms are getting a workout from doing Bagua in a way that they don’t while doing Taiji (sans weapons). It’s more muscluar as I said to my teacher. I feel it in a way that I don’t with Taiji. Again, this is without weapons.
Side note: When I could not do the meditation because of flashbacks, my teacher suggested walking the circle. At some point, she brought in a pair of Deerhorn Knives (practice ones) and gave them to me. She taught me the 8 Palms form (as it were) with the Deerhorn Knives, and I loved it. I still do it once a week to this day. It’s been over a decade, I tihnk, and I love, love, LOVE the Deerhorn Knives. They are the primary weapon of Bagua, and they are the ones that caused the most consternation on Twitter from women when I posted pics of them and gushed about them.
I am not a violent person. I don’t want to ever have to use my martial arts. I started learning Taiji so I could defend myself, but I would be just as happy if I never had to lift a hand in my own defense. Obviously, I am not going to be carrying a sword or saber around for defense. Maybe a cane or a small fan, but that’s about it. Me doing the weapons is purely for pleasure, but they also are my weight-bearing exercise.
When I posted the pics of the weapons on Twitter, I always had women clutching their pearls and/or having the vapors. No matter how much I explained that I was not a violent person nor did I want to hack up anybody, they were unconvinced. I did not blame them since women were taught that even thinking angry thoughts was verboten (men telling strange women to smile, anyone?), but I maintain that letting out that anger in constructive ways was way healthier.
My Taiji teacher told me that her teacher told her he had to teach men to CTFO and women to be more aggressive. I’m paraphrasing, but that’s the basic gist. Men were constantly psuhed to be more aggressive and to compete with each other. Women were taught to be eye candy and to not be aggro in any way.
I backed away when my teacher first tried to get me to do the Taiji sword. I was adamant not to learn the weapons (oh, I was young and naive back then!), and nothing she could say would change my mind. It was when she pressed a wooden practice sword into my hand and said, “Just hold it” that my entire life changed. The sceond my fingers closed around the hilt, I knew this what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.
The sword became an extension of my hand, and it was meant to be there. I learned the Sword Form in record time, and the rest was history. I will forever be grateful for my teacher for pushing me to do the weapons. I can’t believe I was so resistant, but it was because of that idea bashed into my head that women didn’t do violence. And weapons are violence.
For me, doing weapons forms is a safety valve for me. I get angry a lot, and if I try to bottle it in, it’s going to erupt at some point. And in ways that were not going to be constructive. It’s not a stretch to say that this was the biggest moment in my life–until my recent medical crisis, that is.
I’ve talked about that before. Several times. I wanted to write more about Bagua, but got derailed as usual. More in the next post.