Underneath my yellow skin

Waiting it out

Today, for the first time in a long time, I did not do any weapon form practice. Why? Because the last COVID booster kicked. my. ass. I mean, it happens every time, but I always forget how bad it is. Or maybe it’s the worst this time. I will try to do some weapons later, but I was breaking out int a a sweat, and I seem to remember my teacher telling me that if you’re lightly sweating, it’s fine, but if it’s a heavy sweat , to stop. When you’re sick, I mean. Not in general.

I’ve been sweating profusely the last two days. Alternating with having the chills. I don’t get the chills unless I’m sick, and I do not like it. I like the sweating even less, though. It’s just gross. I feel weird not having done any weapons. I think I’ll sprinkle them throughout the day. I haven’t gone a day without doing the weapons forms since about a month after coming home from the hospital. Intellectually, I know that I’m not going to forget everything I know if I don’t practice for a day or two, but it’s suc a big part of my daily routine and of me, I don’t want to not do it.

But I’m worn out. When I did the stretches and the bagua, I started sweating. Now, I’m chilled. I know that it’s important to get the booster. I was planning on getting my flu shot in a few days as well, but if I do that, then the chances that I’ll be in good enough shape to go to my brother’s for Thanksgiving are slim to none. Here is my post from yesterday about me and shots.

The first time I got a Covid shot, the welt lasted until next time I got the shot. That was three weeks and a day later. Yes, they shot me again on the small bump that was still there. That is not an exaggeration. Today is day four and my arm is still hot, burny, and swollen. I have no energy, and I keep flashing cold and hot. I am actually more weirded out by being cold because I don’t get cold. In fact, that’s how I know I’m sick–when I actually feel cold. Chills, to be more precise. It’s a very strange feeling, and if I weren’t sick, I would actually find it interesting.

I hate being sick. That’s not a controversial statement or even that observant, I know. But I especially hate it when I intentionally did it to myself. I know it’s better to be boosted. I know that I should get my flu shot. But it would help if the powers that be would acknowledge that for some people, it comes at a cost. by powers that be, I mean doctors.

I really feel like it’s worse this time. I wonder if it’s because it’s a different brand. I got the Pfizer in the past, but this time it was the Moderna. Apparently, it’s fine to mix-and-match, but maybe the Moderna is particularly potent.

I used to think it was because I had a weak immune system that I got a bad reaction to the shots, but that’s apparently not the case. I’ve read articles that said it’s becasue you have a good immune system–it’s doing it’s job in other words. Which makes sense, but maybe it’s a combination of both. Meaning, because I have a shitty immune system, I’m more susceptible to whatever is coming at me. Because of that, it’s also why I have a stronger reaction–it’s my body working hard to fight back.

Either way, I know I have to do it. But I hate that I have to plan on being out of commission for a week after getting one.

I don’t sweat much on the daily, either. It’s weird to have my body doing things it normally wouldn’t do. I know that’s what being sick means, but this is something that doesn’t happen to me. Coughing incessantly for months because I  have bronchitis? Yup. Having a sniffly or stuffed nose because of allergies? Also yes. Migraines? Yes, but not recently. Although I did take two migraine meds yesterday and the day before because of this Covid shot reaction.

Also, I’m exhausted. It doesn’t matter how much sleep I get; I’m fatigued when I wake up. I can barely keep my eyes open. So, yes, in effect, I’m sick. When I’m trying to provide me being sick. Same wthen I get the flu shot. I’m done writing for now.

Oh, the video. I’ve been watching Retry Elden Ring as my comfort food. That’s all.


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