At this time of year, gifts become the focus of society. Oh, sure, Christmas cheer and blah, blah, blah (can ‘you tell that I could not care less?), but the gifts, though. This is yet another time when I’m firmly on the outside of society. It’s a good thing I don’t work in an office (for many reasons), but this is something that makes me rage every year.
It’s obvious people don’t give a shit about inclusion, no matter how mealy-mouthed they get in expressing DEI is the aim. Over at Ask a Manager, there’s a question about vendor appreciation and what gifts to give in the year of our pandemic (and maybe people not being in the office). Assuming you can’t just give money, most people defaulted to food. Which, and I cannot stress this enough, is a terrible idea if you want to make people feel appreciated. There’s someone in the thread suggesting a hand soap. They even say it’s not good for someone with scent sensitivities, but oh well!!!! Who cares about that, right? They can just regift it so it won’t go to waste!
Here’s the thing about scent sensitivities. I CAN SMELL THAT SHIT THROUGH THE PLASTIC WRAP. So just having the item in my house is bad for me. I found this out when my brother bought scented soap when my parents were here and commented on how great it smelled. I didn’t use it, obviously, but I could still smell it and reacted to it without ever touching it.
So, yeah. If you want to say that you don’t give a shit about someone , yes, give them something that will stink up their house and give them a mild (or not so mild) negative reaction until they get used to it. Honestly, if it were just me, I would toss it–so it would be wasted, anyway.
I am allergic to so many foods and alcohol. I cannot eat chocolate unless it’s specially made, so anything chocolate is out. So is cheese, crackers, bread, and anything with dairy and/or gluten. Cakes, cookies, cupcakes, anything typically festive, OUT. And I don’t see people often enough to spread it around.
I’ve told this story before, but an ex-boss of mine (a terrible boss in many ways, by the way) wen I worked at the county gave me a poinsettia for Christmas as was the custom (for admin assistants at Christmas). I picked it up and my throat instantly closed. I put it as far away from me as possible, but it took some time for the pollen to completely leave my system. I asked my boss not to give me one the next year, but she said she had to because it was tradition.
I was young and not well-versed in the work world then, otherwise I would have gone to HR. I mean, my boss was giving me a plant that made it impossible for me to breathe and didn’t seem to care. I wasn’t asking for another gift–just that she not give me one at all. There were reasons she was so rigid on this point, but it was literally putting my life in danger. These days, I would not hesitate to do something about it, but back then, it was just so weird, I didn’t know what to do.
Some people in the thread are suggesting nuts. Which, I mean. I’m not allergic to nuts, thankfully, but that is a dangerous allergy to mess with. Do you really want to kill someone with your gift? I would say that you do not. And, yes, you could ask about allergies, but really, this is such a huge one, I would not mess with it.
In general, you’re giving a gift to show you appreciate someone. Nothing says, “I appreciate you” like giving someone something they can’t use/eat. Seriously, though. This particular question was for an appreciation gift, and I don’t get the idea that you would not think about the allergies of the people you are trying to appreciate.
I get if you’re giving out hundreds of these gifts, you may not be able to be thoughtful to every person. In that case, though, give money! But it’s strange that so many people are like, “Oh, if the person is allergic, they can re-gift it.” That doesn’t show any appreciation for the person and puts an added burden on them.
If you have to give gifts, why not give something that isn’t going to be such a negative? The person who wrote the letter at Ask A Manager mentioned that they gave Rocketbooks last year and wanted something in a similar vein. People mentioned Yetis, and other people said that everyone had enough tumblers. Well, maybe, but at least they are pretty neutral.
Here’s the thing. You have to ask yourself if you mind hurting a few to please the many or if you want to just give a neutral/safe gift. Alison (AAM) actually did a list of employee gifts one year, and one of the things she mentioned was a fake fur throw blanket that I bought for myself (it’s like thirty bucks), and it’s terrific. I have it on my lap now and Shadow is sleeping on my legs on top of it. He loves it in the autumn and winter!
I think a throw blanket is perfect, honestly. It’s cozy and personal without being TOO personal, and it’s not real fur. I would also be fine with a t-shirt or hoodie as they are usually made of fabrics I can deal with. Anything synthetic (though I do admit some people are allergic to that), and on the flip side, nothing natural.
Seriously. Nothing edible/drinkable and nothing scented. That doesn’t really seem like such a big ass if you are specifically trying to make people feel appreciated. If you don’t care, as I said, have at it. But if your stated mission is to spread cheer, then finding something everyone can enjoy seems like a no-brainer.
Another suggestion I liked was calendars. Pens was another decent suggestion. Look, I know that most people love food and enjoy food, so go ahead and give food. But, as I said, don’t be mad, then if some people throw that shit away. If it’s, say, a bag of Lindor truffles, i just wouldn’t take any. If it were individually gifted chocolates, I’d try to keep them and give them to someone who can eat them, but if I can’t do that, then I would just toss them. I am past the point where I feel guilty about throwing away things I’m allergic to. It’s the easiest way to take care of them.