Yesterday was a big day for me. I say that with tongue firmly in cheek, but it’s also true. It wouldn’t have been a big day before the hospital, but it was after. Why? Because the most noticeable change to me after what happened to me is the loss of stamina. So, yeah, what would be a normal day for me before I had my incident is now a Big Deal.
I had to get my labs done at Regions Hospital and had been putting it off for reasons. Not the jabbing (I1’m used to that by now and am not fazed by it), but familial reasons (driving. The bane of my existence at this moment). My brother agreed to drive me and I was pleasantly surprised when my parents decided not to go.
You have to understand. I am very much a loner. I need a lot of space and am used to spending most of my time on my own. I prefer it that way, honestly. So having my parents around 24/7 has been a trial. I haven’t had to live with them for this long in decades and it’s wearing me down.
At any rate, I expected them to come along yesterday, especially as we had planned to go to Costco, but they decided to stay home. It was great to be on the road with my brother in his Tesla, windows down, wind in my hair. No, it wasn’t the same as being alone, but it was a relief to be away from my parents for a few hours. It didn’t hurt that the weather was unusually mild and the sun was beaming in the sky. I don’t normally like too much sun, but it hit the right spot yesterday.
At the hospital, my brother was pointing out what happened the first time he went there. I had read about it in the Caring Bridge, obviously, but it was different to hear it from him. It was surreal to chime in because I knew the story. It was as if he were talking about someone else and it was interesting to look at things through his eyes. Obviously, I was unconscious at that time so I was unaware of all of this.
Side Note: It still bothers me a little that I am missing a week. A week-and-a-half more like. But, weirdly, not as much as I thought it would have. I’ve heard about the week from several other people. It’s not the same, obviously, but there’s no use in me fretting and/or stewing about it. There’s nothing I can do to recover that time. It’s not like a lost memory. I was unconscious and while I might have had some vague thoughts during that time, they’re long gone now. My mom asked me after I woke up if I saw any lights or anything. I knew why she was asking because it’s a common trope that when someone dies, they head towards a bright light. Not me, though. It was a whole lot of nothing until I woke up with a gasp, ready to fight someone. I didn’t know who I was going to fight, but I was ready for it.
Anyway, yesterday, I joked about doing the big shop because I watch a lot of British Youtubers. The video above is of the RKG boys joking about Mama Finchy (the main character they created) doing the big shop, which I timestamped. It’s a few minutes into where I marked because all of it is brilliant leading up to the moment Rory pretends to be Mama Finchy talking about doing the big shop brilliantly.
My interpretation of the big shop is the weekly grocery shopping where you get everything for the week. I picture Mama Finchy in her curlers, rolling her eyes, and telling her latest paramour that she has to do the big shop because her kids are coming for the weekend. She’s saying this as she and her paramour are lying in bed, smoking, as it nears noon. She doesn’t have her kids and only sees them on the weekend (this is RKG lore) so she would want to buy them something nice as a treat for when she sees them, such as kebobs.
Navigating the hospital was difficult because it was in the middle of construction. We had to get personnel to help us find the outpatient lab and we joked that we may never find our way out again. I was a bit confused about what to do at the lab because the heart doc didn’t write anything down. He just said, “Take these potassium pills for a week or two and then get your labs done.” I assumed he put in a standing order at the lab for my bloodwork, but I couldn’t say for sure. At any rate, the woman who took my blood was a real pro and got it in one. I have to note this because I have bad veins. Many people have had issues drawing blood from me. I have one vein that is especially juicy (left elbow) and that’s about it. The back of my hands work well, too, but I found out in the hospital that for certain draws, they can’t use the back of the hand.
Afterwards, we went to Costco and I had to decide if I wanted to drive a cart or walk. I suggested getting a cart that I could ride in, but walking until I needed to sit. The problem was that the drivable carts had to be ridden, not pushed, so it was one or the other. I didn’t want to ride the whole way, but I also didn’t know if I could walk the entire time. I’ll be frank. My brother was confident I could make it, which influenced my decision. I decided to walk and if I got too tired, I’d sit in the food court. My brother set a more sedate pace than he normally would have in deference to me. I was fine for the first half or so, but then I started to get tired. I didn’t want to admit it, however, so I kept going.
It wasn’t as bad as the time we went to the massive park I didn’t know existed even though I’d lived in the area all my life. That time, I hit the wall hard and could barely stagger back to the car. This time, I was just tired and slept an extra hour last night. I didn’t go much farther on my morning constitutional (I usually push myself to do a bit more each day) and I haven’t done my sword yet–or the saber. My parents are leaving for an appointment at around one so I can do it then, but normally (after the hospital normally) , I would have done it by now.
Doing the big shop took it out of me even though it wasn’t that big of a shop. Before the hospital, I would have been able to do yesterday with ease. After Costco, my brother and I went to my pharmacy, which is roughly a mile from my house. My meds weren’t ready so we went home because my brother was worried about the chicken salad being not refrigerated for so long. After we dropped off the groceries, we went back to the pharmacy to get my meds. Then we went home again and that was the end of my big day.
It doesn’t sound like much and, yes, I would have been able to do it with ease before the hospital. Now, however, this is part of my recovery. My stamina is shit and i have to be patient because I’m still healing from a pretty serious trauma. I haven’t quite internalized what happened to me as part of my life story yet, but I’m getting there. One begrudging day at a time.