I don’t talk about my father much because, well, that’s actually a part of this post. He is very much an old-fashioned Taiwanese man (emphasis on man) in many ways. He lived in America for roughly 25 years before deciding there was more for him in Taiwan. As a result, many of his ideas of America and Americans are stuck in the past. Actually, that’s his thinking in general, especially when it comes to women. We’ve had countless arguments about this despite my best intentions to not get dragged into an argument with him. It’s futile because he’s a narcissist who never changes his mind on anything. He thinks whatever he feels/thinks/believes is universal; he can’t imagine anyone feeling/thinking/believing anything else. A few examples.
When I was sixteen, I hadn’t had a boyfriend yet. I didn’t know I was bi at that point, which would have blown his mind completely. He couldn’t handle the fact that I got a tattoo in my mid-twenties. There is no way he could have dealt with me being bi. Does he know now? Don’t know and honestly, don’t really care. My mom knows, but has ‘forgotten’ that I told her (which is a whole ‘nother thing). Anyway, my father has a habit of bringing up thoughts out of the blue that have nothing to do with anything and proclaiming them as if they are brilliant insights. Then, he gets this self-satisfied look on his face and just sits there, looking at the other person expectantly.
So, on the topic of boyfriends, this is the sage advice he offered me–a fat, sensitive, never-been-kissed girl* who was worried she’d never get a boyfriend: Raise your voice an octave or two; let him beat you in a game, and; ask for his advice (on something like cars). I looked at my father in horror and said, “If that’s what it takes to get a boyfriend, then I never want one.” He also handed me a random gift he got from someone once and when I asked him, baffled, why he was doing that, he answered, “Women like gifts. I always give these to Mom.” Yes. He truly believed that any woman-shaped person liked any gift-shaped present they were given. He added, “You know, like at weddings.” Which, I mean, I did not know what to do with that so I let it drop.
Another example was last night. My brother has been buying us things from Costco. He took my parents there last week. I declined going because I knew it would tire me out. Anyway, we went to Cubs yesterday to pick up a few things. Last night at dinner, my father mentioned that he preferred shopping at Cubs to Costco. No argument there. Costco is too big and for a single person, pointless. Yes, I can get ten pounds of bananas for the same price as a few pounds of bananas (from Cubs), but they’ll rot before I can eat them all so it’s a waste, anyway.