I love the internet as most of my longtime readers know. I’m a heavy user, and the amount of information you can find is breathtaking. The downside is that the amount of opinionated and baseless bullshit is also breathtaking. I know I’ve ranted about this before, but I ran across a thinkpiece in The Federalist (I know, I know) that made me roll my eyes so hard, I’m still searching for them somewhere behind my couch. It was a million-word piece about how tattoos are going to be the downfall of America because reasons!
Full disclosure: I have four tattoos. No, I don’t regret getting them. No, I don’t care what they’ll look like when I’m old and droopy. No, it wasn’t a phase, a youthful rebellion, or me trying to be trendy. No, I’m not worried that they’re on my body forever–that’s kind of the point. I got my tats before it was a cool thing to do, so, yeah, I’m a hipster tatted up gal. I was doing it before some of y’all were even born! Get off my lawn, too. Also.
Fuller disclosure: I think this falls under the category of, “If you don’t like them, don’t fucking get one.” No one is forcing you to get a tat (and if they are, you need to think about your life choices as to who you allow in your life), so you can live your life gloriously tattoo-free if you want. YOU DO YOU! Go on with your unadorned self! Be proud of your mark-free skin! No one is stopping you from being great without a tattoo, are they?
Back to The Federalist masturbatory piece. The dude is roughly my age (40) which puts him firmly in wagging his finger at the youngins range. Here’s the thing, though. I skimmed his whole piece (and it went on for fucking ever), and I couldn’t get a coherent reason why he thought tattoos were the Worst Thing On Earth. One of his points is that we have no culture reason for them, unlike, say the Polynesians. He even made a stupid joke about big Polynesian men please not beating him up for dissing on tats. He says it’s fine to get a tattoo if it has meaning to you, but he’s not down with random tats, and you need to know about it.