Underneath my yellow skin

Finding a needle in a haystack

worship me!
Look at my dad hotness!

It’s been a over a month since I’ve played a Souls* game, and I’ve been adrift ever since. I don’t have any Souls game installed on my laptop, which is really strange as the three games have dominated my life for the past few years. There are other games I’ve played since, for example, Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator. I didn’t really feel it when I first played it, but it slowly grew on me. I made my dad a chubby awkward Asian guy with a scraggly beard, pierced ear, glasses, and death metal t-shirt. As I tweeted, I basically created me as a dude. I named him Morgan because that’s my favorite name, and it was off to the races! Let me meet the hot dads and find true love!

What did I love about this game? Right off the bat, I love the diversity. The dads were of all races, backgrounds, and body sizes. On the other hand, it was set in a suburban cul-de-sac, so there wasn’t much economic diversity, but I appreciated the conceit to keep all the dads in one area. I found the beginning slow-going. I moved to this cul-de-sac with my daughter, Amanda (my husband/her father had died at some point in the past), and we’re settling in. It’s very dialogue-driven, which is a bit tedious in the start. I went on a few dates, then put the game away, thinking I would never play it again.

I went back for whatever reason, and I really got into it. Yes, each of the dads was a specific stereotype, but there was some depth to them as well. Except for the bad boy dad, but I probably shouldn’t have slept with him the first night I met (and drank) with him. Is he a dad for real? Hard to say because I never saw his kid. Robert, I think his name was, but who cares because he was just DTF. My favorite was Hugo, the high school English teacher who had a secret passion for WWE-like wrestling. He had delightfully-rumpled hair and dressed sharp, and we did trivia and cheese night at a local pub. He was hot, hot, hot, but…his son was a terror. Disrespectful, mouthy, and a budding vandal. I’ll just say it. I hated him.

In this game, if you go on a third date with a dad, it’s the real deal. It means you’re getting serious with him because isn’t that how it works in the real world? I didn’t want to get serious before I dated all the dads to the max, so I set about doing that. Yes, I dated them all twice (if you can call messaging Robert on Dadbook, yes, that’s what it’s called and not getting an answer a ‘date’), and let me tell you, it was fun. The mini-games were eye-rolling, but I liked the variety. Plus, there’s a sweetness to the game that I didn’t expect. It’s so full of heart, and I can’t hate on a game that just wants to spread the love.

yeah, baby.
You can pin me ANYTIME, Hugo!

So, who did I pick? The married Christian youth pastor, of course. Duh! Leave it to me to pick the guy who is the most unavailable and beeline straight to him. This is *so* me, and I had to be true to my spirit. He’s married to a harpy of a wife (who has a softer side and a good reason to be so nasty) and has three creepy kids including a set of twins. I make friends with them as I chat up their dad. Joseph Christian (yes, that’s his last name) is an athletic blond with a great ass (hey, it’s my story, so I get to ascribe traits to the characters), and he’s just my type. Except the married part, the Christian part, the blond part, and the athletic part. So, in other words, my favorite part of him is that he’s married.

Anyhoo! On our pivotal third date, we go on his yacht–did I mention he’s rich? ‘Coz he is–for some wining and dining. We run out of gas (on purpose, methinks), and the radio isn’t working. We make it work again, and are sharing our feelings when the Coastal Guard, clearly listening in, say they’ll pick us up in the morning. It’s something that would never happen in real life, but it was charming. Joseph and I kiss, and then we make sweet, sweet love. It’s idyllic, and I thought I had nailed this storyline.

In the end scene (which I learned later that I got the ‘bad’ ending, and there doesn’t seem to be a consensus as to how to get this ending. See! I do suck as a parent, but whatevs), he says he’s staying with his wife because of appearances, but I could be his side dick. He leaves, and I end up alone (because Amanda left earlier with her friends). It actually made me feel bad, and I quickly went back before the third date with Joseph and went on the third date with Hugo instead. He was my real choice except for my loathing of his son, and his son turned out to be not as bad once I was dating Hugo.

I dated all the guys, and it was fun. I found myself thoroughly enjoying the game by the end. Most of the guys had more to them than just met the eye, and I liked probing them for more answers. I might actually play the game again to get specific endings and NOT sleep with Robert the first time I meet him.

Other than that, though, I’ve not really gamed much in the past few weeks since my parents came to visit. I’ve started a Bloodborne playthrough in which I’m straight-up Hunter Axing it. Well, not completely as I put 6 points into Arcane so I could use some of the basic spells. Other than that, though, I’ve pumped Strength to 35, and now I’m just trying to get my Vitality and Endurance up to 30. I’ve been having fun because I have no compulsion about co-oping on the bosses I’ve solo’ed, and I even got some dialogue from Djura I hadn’t gotten in my previous playthroughs.

This game is fucking amazing. I will stand by that. It’s broody and Gothic and epic, and it’s a Miyazaki game. However, I will also maintain that having to grind for blood vials when I run out is a pain in the ass. I will say I’ve only had to do it out of necessity once (I did it a few times just to stock up), but it still annoyed me. I hate having to stop whatever I’m doing to get more blood vials, especially if I’m doing a boss run. My style is that I want to bash my head against a boss until I beat it–not stop and get more blood vials. It really diminishes my enjoyment, and I have two bosses I’m sitting on now (ironically, the same two that I got hung up for a long time the first time I played, Ebrietas and Logarius. I’ve tried Ebrietas three or four times now, and I haven’t even peeped at Logarius yet) and one of the Nightmare areas, both of which I HATE because they’re PvP arenas.

I hate the last third of the game, and that’s where I am now. I haven’t played in a few days because I’m dreading it. In addition, my goal is to kill Ludwig, Lawrence, and the Orphan of Kos solo because I co-oped them the first time through, and I detest the DLC of this game. I know it’s incredible, but it’s balls-hard. I don’t play the games because of the difficulty, and I feel the DLC are pumped up for the onebros. The DLC of this game is brilliant, but I hate it–just as I hate the second DLC for DS III.

I need a game. I’m trying to branch out into other genres, but there are so many I don’t like. RTS, FPS, platformers, and more. I used to like hack-n-slashes, but ever since I became addicted to Souls games, I’ve had a hard time getting into a hack-n-slash. I don’t like brawlers, I don’t like racing–it’s like my real life. I don’t like way more things than I actually like. I enjoyed Dream Daddy, but I’m done with dating sims. I like other sims, but I’m pretty picky about my sims.

I’m not sure what my next game will be. I was hyped about Monster Hunter: World back when it cam out on consoles, but that hyped feeling died out after a few weeks. Now, the hype is returning because MHW is finally coming to PC. I’ve watched a few videos, but the hype hasn’t returned. Another reason I lost some of my enthusiasm is because I feel really bad for the monsters as they die. They begin to limp and drool and shake, and it’s disturbing to watch.

I don’t know what I’ll try next, but what I do know is that it won’t be a Souls game. *sigh*





*Souls specifically.

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