First of all, I’d like to report that social media-free Saturday has become normal for me, and I’ve noticed that I’m much less stressed when I’m not constantly scanning my social media outlets. I did see the notifications on my phone, and I did have to fight the impulse to check my friend’s posts on FB, but other than that, I didn’t even think about it. Today (Sunday), I woke up and after my morning routine, I answered my notifications. I quickly scrolled for news, and the biggest news in that the new Doctor Who is Jodie Whittaker, a woman! I stopped watching during the Smith years because I hated what Moffat did to Smith and River Song. In addition, I couldn’t stand Clara to the point of cringing every time she was on screen, and I haven’t seen a single Capaldi episode. However, the news that the new Doctor is female and that Moffat is gone might be enough to push me back into watching. I’ll probably give the new series at least one episode.
I was a pretty good note-taker when I was in school. I learned over time what I needed to write in order to remember the rest of what the teacher said. It got a bit hairy when I used to have fugue episodes* for an entire semester during my sophomore year, and I’d come back to myself with pages full of scribbles. Other than that, though, I had it down to a near science.
Fast-forward to taiji classes. My teacher has suggested throughout the eight years I’ve been practicing that I take notes. I’ve resisted for the first several of those years because I write every day (type rather than write, but same thing), and I didn’t want to make it a chore. However, she’s been more direct about in the last year, saying I should take notes (not just me, but her students in general), and it’s not like her to give a direct order, so I took her seriously. I started carrying a notebook with me in my purse, and I would scrawl down whatever I thought was important.
By the way, another reason I love my computer is that I have terrible handwriting. If I’m writing quickly, I can barely make out what I’ve written. I considered getting a tablet just so I could take notes efficiently in class, but in the end, I opted for good old-fashioned notebook and pen.
I pulled out my notebook last Monday as my teacher was explaining the different sword energies. As she was showing the first three to me, I thought, “Yeah, I got this. This is pretty easy.” I wrote basic notes on each one just so I’d remember them, but I was pretty sure I wouldn’t have any problem with it. First time I tried it at home, it went fairly smoothly. But, then I didn’t practice for a day, and the next time I went back to it, I had forgotten a few things, such as where my helping hand goes. Or which foot goes forward. I was able to figure some of it out on my own, but not all of it. I asked my teacher about one of the questions yesterday, and the minute she showed me, my brain was like, “Oh, yeah. That’s right.”
I mentioned my note-taking observation, and she told me she’s gotten better with much practice, but she still made mistakes, too. She showed me something from a Shaolin Form (that was fucking cool, by the way), and she said she knew she had to take detailed notes. She did, but she accidentally put down the hands backwards. One thing I really appreciate about her is that she’s frank about her own mistakes. She doesn’t try to pretend she’s perfect or a master, which is refreshing. I don’t trust people who refuse to admit they make mistakes, plus it’s nice to know that even after twenty years of practice, she’s still stumbles. It makes me feel less bad about my own idiocy, and it eases the pressure to be perfect that is always in my mind.
My point is, I’m a novice when it comes to taking notes in taiji. What I think is enough isn’t, and a general description is only the beginning. I need to note what the hands do, the waist does, and the feet do, not to mention weight placement, and other things I’m probably not yet aware of. My teacher has said that learning the Sword Form energies is like college, and I need to step up my note-taking game as well.
It’s funny to me that I’m such a fangrrl of my sword. I’ve documented before how much I drag my heels on the Solo Form, but how eagerly I soak up anything related to the sword. A few weeks ago, my teacher was talking about how to do the Sword Form fluidly and how to use momentum to move the sword in an energetic manner. I jumped on it and asked her how to do that, and she said I had to finish the left side of the Sword Form first, and then she would teach it to me. I said I was done with the left side, and after being surprised and delighted, she said she’d start showing me the sword energies. She’s shown me three of fourteen, and I’m eager to learn more.
This is funny for another reason: I’m very resistant to change. I hate it, and oftentimes, you have to drag me kicking and screaming away from the familiar. My teacher’s teacher is making several changes/refinements to the different forms, and my immediate reaction to most of them has been, “Aw, fuck no!” Usually followed by contempt, then begrudging tolerance, and finally acceptance. I think roughly three-quarters of the changes are good ones, but I still don’t like a fourth of them. I brought up one of the changes in class, and I’m still in the grumbling about it phase. My teacher laughed and said it was nice to know that Minna would always be the counter to anything new. She’s not wrong, and I’m not proud of it, but it’s part of my personality not to trust easily. If there is a change, I need a hundred and one good reasons for the change, and even then, it’s not enough sometimes.
Of the changes to the forms I don’t like, most of them are for simply pride reasons. I learned the hard way to do it, damn it, and so should everyone else! Otherwise, get off my lawn. Also, too. A few are for aesthetic reasons; I just like the old look of the posture better than the new one. A few of the changes I don’t like for a different reason, however. Most of the changes made are to make the postures easier to learn for beginners and because the old way was flawed for one reason or another. I took ballet, and I can turn my feet outwards past 180 degrees. On the other hand, I have great difficulty making my feet pigeon-toed. A few of the changes to certain postures are so that it’s easier for people who can’t turn their feet outwards to a great degree to do the posture. That means extra steps or things to do with the feet, and it seems like busywork to me. I could do it the old way with ease, and adding an extra step doesn’t seem very taiji to me (laziness is at the heart of what we do).
I just have to accept that what’s easier for other people isn’t necessarily easier for me, which is the story of my life. It’s also why I like the kick section, which is one of the harder section of the Solo Form.
At the end of the day, I’ll adjust to the changes, even if I don’t necessarily embrace them. I consider that progress.
*Long and boring story. Needless to say, it was not a good time for me.