I have spent most of my life hating myself and my body. And my face! I did not like anything about myself, and everything I did made me cringe. I hated everything I said and everything I did, and I thought I was just a piece of shit. This is me being muted about how much I hated myself. In my last post, I touched on how life has gotten me to appreciate myself more. I’m going to continue in that vein for this post. More with the self-love, yo!
I have always liked my boobs. Or at least have not minded them. I don’t wear a bra and they are out there and in your face. I got into Lizzo fairly late, but she’s become my icon for flaunting what you got. I love how she revels in her body. She doesn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks about her because she looks GOOD.
I love this skit from SNL because it’s exactly how my inner brain works. The outer world has beaten down my self-esteem, but when I let go of all the negative messages that flow my way, I know I am 100% that bitch. I am fucking amazing!
I worry sometimes that I’m too cocky now. I spent most of my life trashing myself and putting myself down. Not only because it was culturally expected of me, but also beacuse I hated myself. I had so many flaws (and still do), and I couldn’t understand how anyone could stand me.
When K wanted to be friends, I was blown away. She was (and still is) the coolest woman I knew. She had dropped out of high school, got her GED, then went onto college while waitressing at a bar/restaurant in a small Iowa town. Or Wisconsin? I think it’s Iowa. She’s been married since she was twenty-three, and they are still deeply in love thirty years later. She is passionate about public schools, and she walked the walk as well as talking the talk. She’s been a teacher for disadvantaged youth for almost as long as I’ve known her, and she’s passionate about her kids.
She has tats, and she was the first person I knew who had them. She went with me to get my first tattoo, and she was, and still is, my joybringer. We’ve walked on the beach late at night while drunk off our tits with White Castle sliders we were munching on. We peed in the lake, and I missed so the pee ended up on my sandals.