I’ve talked in the past about how much I love the weapon forms in Taiji (and now, Bagua). I am grateful for the health benefits, but they are not the focus for me.
Side note: We’re supposed to get between twelve and eighteen inches of snow over the weekend. I am so excited, even if we only get half that amount. Prince has a song about snow in April (I will include the video below), and he’s right. We’re not even quite mid-March, and it’s still rare to get that much snow at this time. I mean, it’s rare in general, so I’m very excited. I don’t think we’ll get even 12 inches because predictions are wildly inflated, but if we get half that, I will be satisfied.
I’ve gotten my groceries and I ordered Indian today, so I’m set for at least the weekend. I’m very fortunate that I have DoorDash and InstaCart, but I don’t want to make them drive in the snow. That’s why I used both today rather than wait for the weekend proper. I don’t want to get stuck, and I don’t want anyone else to get stuck, either.
Anyway, I made it clear to my teacher from the very start that while I was happy that there were health benefits, that wasn’t my focus. Oh, I was so young and naive then. I mean, it’s not bad that I preferred the weapons to the hands-only Taiji, but I brushed it off like it was no big thing.
I mean, I was grateful that it helped with my back problems, but that was it for the health benefits. I didn’t think much past that.
I did appreciate that it helped with my mental health and helped me to set healthier (not healthy, but healthier) boundaries. And, now, it helps me to shore up my faltering mental health when I have to deal with difficult situations. I am much more prepared to handle it than I was twenty years ago, though still at a heavy cost.
For me, it’s all about the weapons. I am making myself learn the left side of the Solo Long Form beacuse it’s way past the time when I should have done it. Right after learning the right side of the from my teacher–and it’s the first form you learn, by the way–I should have taught myself the left form.
That’s how it works in general. My teacher teaches me the right side of a form, and then I teach myself the left*. As I was teaching myself the left side of the Solo Long Form, my teacher’s teacher was in his experimental phase. That meant that the form was constantly changing. I was in the third part of the third section (the very last sub-section) when this started happening, and I just could not do it.
I told myself that I would get back to it once my teacher’s teacher had the form set for a certain amount of time. Except there were other forms that were to be learned. More interesting and fun forms, like the Sword Form. My first weapon form, and I have so much love for it still.
I will tell this story one more time. Even though I had decided to learn Taiji for combat reasons, I balked at the idea of doing weapons. That seemed violent to me in a way hands-only combat didn’t. My teacher said that oftenimes, women really dragged their feet at learning weapons because they were so conditioned to shun anything that seemed violent. Guys, on the other hand, in general had to be taught to chill the fuck out.
My teacher had to insist that I just put my fingers around the wooden sword she put in my hand. It took about ten minutes, and when I finally gave in, I felt as if the sword was an extension of my hand. It belonged there, and I never wanted to let it go. I pestered my teacher to teach it to me as quickly as possible, and it felt so intuitive.
I loved it, and it put me on a path that I have continued to walk to this day. I went from saying I would never do weapon forms to wanting to only do weapon forms. I love how each of them has a different feel to it, and I likened them to different relationships. The Sword Form is my first love, which means it has a special place in my heart.
The Saber Form is the friends with benefits, emphasis on friends. The benefits are sporadic, but they are welcome when they do show up. The Cane Form is…the ex you’re still good friends with. The Cane Form with the saber (using the saber rather than the cane) is the new partner who reminds you of that ex, but is better in every way. That sounds really mean, but it’s how I feel about the Cane Form versus the Cane Form with the saber. I much prefer the latter to the former.
I’m not going to keep going with this analogy because I’m running out of romantic relationships to compare my weapons with. I will say that my favorite weapon is the Deer Horn Knives, but I have not learned the full weapon form yet.
I’m very proud that I was able to teach myself the Double Fan Form. I really thought I might not be able to do it. I had to adapt it to the Yang-style from the Chen-style, which made it even harder to learn. Well, I don’t think it made it that much harder because I adapted it by making it doable. One of the most notable things about Chen-style Taiji is the deep knee bends. We don’t do that in Yang-style, nor do I want to wreck my knees. So, it’s less bending of the knees, which is not hard to do.
I’m taking it easy with the Bagua Knives Form because I tend to want to teach myself too quickly. I fudge too much, and then I have to go back to clean it up. I want to learn it well in one go so if I have to go back to clean it up, it won’t be so bad. I feel like I’m going too slowly, but as my teacher likes to remind me, I have all the time in the world.
*It’s not the case any longer, but it’s how it’s supposed to be done.