I don’t like thinking about gender because I genuinely get fucked up when I think about it too hard. My mother has been an unrpentant sexist all her life. But in a very weird way. Why weird? Because she did everything she did to cater to my father, and one of his firm ideas was… Continue Reading
One of the most frustrating things about having a background in psychology and a fairly in-depth knowledge of my own behavior and why I act the way I do is that it doesn’t make it any easier for me to actually do anything about it. In fact, it makes it harder sometimes because then I… Continue Reading
I was musing in the last post about my rebirthday and how it’s coming up. Well, that’s what I meant the post to be about, but I meandered into family dysfunction once again. Which isn’t as far a stretch as you might think, actually. I have spent decades unlearning the toxic things I’ve been taught… Continue Reading
We’re coming up on my third birthday. Obviously, not my real third birthday, but the third anniversary of the day I died (twice, and came back to life). That was September 3rd, 2021, and it’s a day forever etched in my mind. Which is funny because I don’t remember any of it. My brother has… Continue Reading
Before my medical crisis, I had an excellent memory. I could remember the names of everyone I met and never had to write anything down. After my medical crisis, this all went to hell. Understandable as I had a stroke–a significant one. to put it bluntly, I wasn’t expected to wake up (I was in… Continue Reading
In the last post, I ended by musing about how I sort of fell into polyamorous relationships. It was never my idea, but I wasn’t against it, either. In fact, if I had not been indoctrinated into the belief that monogamy was the only way to be, I probably would have gotten into nonmonogamy/polyamory sooner.… Continue Reading
At the end of the last post, I was talking about how the reach of family dysfunction is long and tortured. One of the problems with abuse is that it gets passed along, generation by generation. It’s the same with societal norms, actually. What we consider normal is usually what has been codified into society… Continue Reading
I’ve been thinking recently about life. I know that sounds boring and pretentious, but hear me out. It has to do with family dysfunction, but maybe not in a direct way. I’ve been talking about my parents and their beliefs in very rigid (and outdated) gender roles. Because of this, I grew up thinking that… Continue Reading
In yesterday’s post, I was musing about how stereotypes of autism blocked me from realizing that I might actually have it. Another one that really tripped me up was how autistic people miss nonverbal/social cues. I have read and heard it said so many times that if you want an autistic person to understand your… Continue Reading
In yesterday’s post, I went off on a tangent because of course I did about how much I love tangents/side notes/footnotes/side roads. Then, because I’m me, I spent a healthy chunk of time on that instead of what I actually meant to write about. Which, in this case, turned out to be about how much… Continue Reading