I used to read Captain Awkward regularly. She was a big proponent of not yucking someone’s yum, and I agree to a certain extent. If people around you are excited about, say the millionth Star Wars movie in a month, just nod and smile. It’s no skin off your nose and you can just moved on with your life.
I hate people who go into Twitter threads and shit all over people’s enthusiasm for whatever it is. Let people like what they like! I think we can all agree on this.
However (and you knew this was coming), I also think you shouldn’t get upset if someone doesn’t like something popular. There’s someone in the RKG Discord who is, to put it politely in British vernacular, a knob. He is racist and sexist, to mention two, in a very thick-headed way. He’s been called out on it, and that’s not the point here.
He tends to make unflattering comments about popular media. Some people react angrily, thinking he’s just being contrary. But, as someone who does not like most popular culture, he actually seems sincere in his opinions. Yes, he’s probably poking a bit, but he truly seems to believe them. He’s has no EQ to speak of, and when other people post, “He can’t be that oblivious, can he?” I want to say, “Yes, yes, he can.” I don’t doubt he enjoys giving voice to the unpopular opinion, but I think he actually has those opinions.
As someone with off-the-charts EQ, I know better than to give voice to my anti-pop culture views. A better way to put it is that I know when to keep them to myself and when to voice them.
I saw Star Wars when I was little and hated it. I did not like the sequels, either. I’m talking about the original trilogy, now known as the prequels. I have never liked them, and I have given up trying to like them. It’s ok that I don’t like them. Again, I don’t bring it up, but if someone wants my opinion, I am not going to lie about it, either.
That’s the part that bothers me in this discussion about letting people like what they like. I don’t care if people like things I don’t. But, the converse isn’t true. People really care when I don’t like what they like–if I bother telling them.
I’ve written plenty of times about how I got dumped because I hated Pulp Fiction, even though I warned the guy ahead of time that I probably wouldn’t like it. I had seen the trailer when it came out, and it was most emphatically not for me. But, of course if my new-ish boyfriend wanted me to see his favorite movie, I would do it. He was sure I would love it. Oh, sweet summer child.
After we saw the movie, he asked what I thought of it. Foolishly, I told him the truth. After ten or fifteen minutes of me explaining why I did not like the movie, he looked at me and said, “I can’t be with someone who has that life view.”
I was crushed. I stopped telling people what
I thought of their favorite pop culture because of him. But, years later, I got mad because I realized that this was firmly a him thing, not a me thing. I had told him that I didn’t want to see the movie and that I KNEW I was not going to like it. He had been so convinced that he knew me better than I knew myself and then got mad when he was not right.
I was even correct about how I would perceive the movie ahead of time. I have my many, many flaws, but I know myself and my tastes fairly well. So when I said I would not like the movie, I was not lying or being hyperbolic. I was fairly certain I wouldn’t like it, but I went in with as much an open mind as possible.
So the older me thought it wasn’t fair that he got mad at me for the logical conclusion to that scenario.
My point is that he’s allowed to love Pulp Fiction. I should be allowed to hate it. If he did not want to know my opinion, he fucking shouldn’t have asked. Or told me that I had to only tell him good things about the movie.
We’re coming upon Christmas season, and I am anti-Christmas. Well, I was. I’m mostly indifferent to it now, but there was a time when I hated it. HATED it. And I had a friend who was a Christmas fanatic. Which, again, that was here right. I was not going to go to her FB wall and post anti-Christmas screeds. But, she’d post about why couldn’t people who didn’t like Christmas just shut about it and how she hated seeing anti-Christmas stuff on other people’s FB walls.
I mean…it’s my fucking wall. If you don’t like what I post, block me. Or block those posts. As I said, I was not voicing my hatred of Christmas at her, but it was a step too far for her to want to control what I put on my own FB wall.
I would have no problem with her blocking my posts and even telling me why she was doing so. I have a hunch, however, that she would have an issue if I did the same with her Christmas posts.
Look. I love cold weather. Adore it. Can’t get enough of it. I know that most people prefer the heat, sunny days, and summer. I would be rightfully labeled a jerk if I snapped at every who raved about how great a warm sunny day was. So why is me saying I love the cold any different? I don’t need people to tell me they don’t feel the same or that I’m crazy. I already know that. Just nod and smile like I do when people talk about how great the two days of summer we have each year in Minnesota are.
This is one reason I don’t do well with people in general. I’m too much a freak. I can pretend to be normal for short amounts of time. I can smile and say it’s great we have a warm day, but I cannot keep up that pretense for very long. At some point, I’m going to mention that I prefer cold days and get the stank eye. Yes, even in Minnesota where we have winter for nine months, people gush over warm days. Probably because it’s usually so cold, actually.
Basically, I’m asking not to be forced to do performative enthusiasm for things I don’t care about at all. Or actively hate. I won’t bring it up because I know that it’s a bummer for other people to hear, but I’m not going to lie about it if asked, either. I won’t be completely honest as I’ve learned my lesson, but I’m not going to pretend I like something I’m not. Hot days don’t count because the weather is incidental so I’ll agree that it’s great we have an 80-degree day while talking to the cashier at Cubs.
I’ve already sanded off the edges of my opinions as much as I’m willing to do. If you ask for my opinion, you’re going to get it. If it’s my own social media, I’m going to post what I think without reservation. If you don’t like it, you know where the block button is.