Underneath my yellow skin

Dropping the mike

I’m tired. I’m so fucking exhausted. Still sick. Still got the chills alternating with still got the heat. Still grumpy as fuck. Still not playing MHW. I’m riding at about 40%, and I’m just done.

Funny note. I’ve been going down that Hot Ones rabbit hole. It’s a web series in which Sean Evans interviews a guest while eating ten wings with increasing heat. The first three or four ain’t nothing. They eat and Sean asks questions, and the guest answers. The middle four are increasingly hot, and most guests are at least breaking a sweat by this point. Then, comes bottle number 8 (used to be 9, I think). It’s called Da Bomb, and it makes me smile every time I see it because I know this sauce.

Backstory. My brother and I both love spicy foods. We have since the beginning of time, which is rather strange given our background. I don’t know how it started, but we began a tradition of giving each other hot sauce for Christmas with one giving it to the other one year, then using the same box, the other reciprocates the next year. It caused much merriment, especially for the other members of the family. The point, of course, was to try to find something hotter than the year before. This happened for several years in a row, and then came the year I found Da Bomb, considered to be the hottest hot sauce at the time.

“Consume one drop at a time with extreme caution” is on the bottle, and it ain’t no joke. I ordered two bottles so I could keep one for myself. I made a huge batch of chili and put four or five drops of Da Bomb in it. I’m talking HUGE batch. I tasted it and yeah, no. I had to throw it away. When I gave the other bottle to my brother, I warned him about it. I said to take the label seriously.  A few days later, he called me and said he thought we could end the contest right there. (WITH ME WINNING, LET’S NOTE.)

Side note: Several years later, the Carolina Reaper was created, and my brother sent me an email with a link. He only wrote, “We back on?” We didn’t restart the contest, though, and my tolerance for spice has decreased over the years. As I get older, I find that I don’t enjoy not feeling my face after eating any longer. In addition, I like flavorful rather than just pure spice.

Anyway, the hot sauces change over the seasons, but the one that remains the same is Da Bomb. Sean Evans has mentioned that he would like to change it out, but the fans would riot if he did. He calls it the face melter, and it really is the one that knocks people out. Watch the video above for Tyra’s reaction. It hit her so hard, she made the camera do her next wing. Charlize Theron hated it so much she cussed it out and flipped it off immediately, and she tossed the bottle in the trash later on.

Even the ones that are hotter do not provoke the same reaction. It’s because this one is pure heat. It’s sole purpose is to be a dick, to paraphrase Charlize. It’s not trying to add flavor to anything–it’s punching you in the throat. In addition, it’s a leap from the one before it by a considerable amount, so the mind is not ready for it.

Anyway. I can’t quit the show because the reactions are amazing. Most of the guests are interesting to hear talk, too. Maybe some hot sauce would help with this goddamn cold.

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