Underneath my yellow skin

Tag Archives: fantasy

A (chat)room of my own redux

I was participating in the producers-only stream for RKG yesterday when an interesting thing happened. Somehow, Discord came up and a woman who participates heavily in the FB group said she didn’t feel comfortable in the Discord chatroom. Buncha dudes said you just had to jump in and blah, blah, blah. I told the first woman that I agreed with her, and a third woman chimed in to agree. Dudes kept insisting that the room was so welcoming and ignored what we three women were saying. When one woman tried to point out the cliquey nature, dudes were like, “But we became friends! But just join in!” without really getting what the women were trying to say. They took their experiences to be the standard and factual while dismissing our experiences or trying to excuse them away. It was a microcosm of privilege in a concrete setting, and I have rarely seen it so starkly.

I want to point out that I’m not saying they’re terrible guys or raging against the machine. They all seemed like nice dudes, and I say that sincerely. My point in this anecdote is how ingrained such behavior can be and how difficult it can be to make someone see privilege where they only see normality. I thought about bringing up the gender component, but didn’t. In the end, we dropped the conversation with no one being convinced that they were wrong.

And, I don’t think anyone was wrong. The dudes were right in that the Discord chat is inviting and welcoming IF you can fit into the culture. Which is very laddy. Which is not the same as bro culture, but it’s still off-putting. And we women were right that it’s not welcoming if you don’t fit into the culture.

Side note: It’s been weird that the two YouTube groups I like both left their big companies (IGN and Buzzfeed, respectively) to go private within six months of each other. As I noted in my last post on this subject, The Try Guys’ targeted demo is young women whereas RKG’s targeted demo is young men. The Try Guys have been away from Buzzfeed for roughly eight months, and I realized when they came back from their Christmas break that I don’t like them nearly as much now as I did when they were with Buzzfeed. I thought about why that was, and I realized there were a few reasons. One, they’ve become more of A BRAND and less of just four goofy guys trying interesting things that get them out of their comfort zone. They have merch now, and they push that merch in their videos. Yes, in a jocular way, but it’s still them hawking their merch. Two, they had a video in which they showed the stuff they did before Buzzfeed, and Eugene’s was disturbingly brilliant. It showed in stark relief how different the stuff he’s doing now is. I wasn’t the only one to notice, and he had to tweet out why he thought what he was doing now still aligned with his vision.


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It’s Just a Fantasy….

all aboard!
About to ride the dragon (wyvern)!

My fellow nerds, I have a confession to make.

::looks around nervously and clears throat::

I’m not a huge fan of sci-fi.

Whew! I feel so much better now that I’ve gotten that off my ample chest. I’ve been holding it in for far too long, pretending to be amped about the latest Star Trek/Wars movie…by the way, I *am* amped about the latest Star Trek TV show, but only because Michelle Yeoh is in it. More like Michelle YEAH, amirite? She is a badass, and she’s fucking hot. Also, Jason Isaacs. Yum.

But I digress.

Obviously, I’m being hyperbolic, but not by much. Sci-fi has become cool, and I just can’t get on that hype train. I’m not into robots (unless they’re Jaegers and they’re fighting the Kaiju), and as much as I like tech, I’m not interested in the inner workings of mechs.

You know what I do like? Dark fantasy. The term is to describe many different kinds of fantasy, but I use it to mean supernatural horrors in our world, replete with witches and goblins and werebeings, oh my! Some of my favorite mystery series have these aspects incorporated in them, and I’d much rather be immersed in a dark fantasy world than a sci-fi one.

As longtime readers know, I am a huge Dark Souls fan. It’s high fantasy, rather than dark fantasy, but it’s the fantasy part that entices me. Monstrous creatures saturates the worlds, but the most monstrous of all are the humanoids. In fact, the final boss in the final DLC of Dark Souls III *spoilers* is Slave Knight Gael, a character who was seeking out the dark soul of man for his niece so she could finish her painting. When he found it, he became corrupted by all the dark souls he consumed, so humans are literally the worst thing in the Dark Souls universe.

Now that I think of it, the same was true for the DLC of the original game. The final boss was *spoilers for a game that’s a bajillion years old* Manus, Father of the Abyss, and while there’s speculation as to his true identity, what’s agreed on is that he was once human until he ate so many souls he became totally corrupted. Even his name–Manus–can be broken down into man and us. We are man, and we are evil. That’s the prevailing theory, anyway.

You probably also know that one of my pet peeves about Dark Souls YouTubers/Twitchers* is that many of them denigrate being a caster in the games. They’re all male, and many of them have never played a caster, but by god, they know it’s the pussy way to play the game! “Oooh, you run around and snipe people from a far and don’t get hurt!” But you run out of spells and have to melee with a shit weapon, which is no fun, let me tell you. It’s annoying as hell, especially now that I’ve played as a tank character throughout each game. There’s also the, “You can’t beat the feeling of just smashing a guy into the ground” mentality, and I will say there’s more merit to that than to the former, but it’s still fucking satisfying to watch an enemy get engulfed in flames.

I maintain that playing as a melee character is far easier for the most part than playing as a caster, and you can fight me on that if you want. Come at me, bro!

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