Several years ago, Ian and I had a pizza with sauerkraut, sour cream, and German sausage. I’m sure there was more on it, but that’s what I remember. It was thick crust and gooey with melted cheese. This was before I went gluten-free, dairy-free, obviously, but it was still a lot for my poor system. Even popping a Lactaid couldn’t completely mitigate the damage, but it was worth it. It’s possibly the best pizza I’ve had in my life, and I think about it wistfully now and again.
It was an autumn special, probably around Oktoberfest. I think we had mozzarella sticks with it because in for a penny, in for a bloody pound. This is my nature–if I’m going to go at something, I’m going to go all-in. If I was going to be sick from eating the pizza, why not add mozz sticks on top? Wait. I think it’s garlic cheese bread we had, not mozzarella sticks. Much of the same, really. We stuffed ourselves past the point of satiation and still had plenty to bring home.
I think that was one of the last proper eat-out pizzas I’ve had. Real pizzas, I mean. I’m OK with being GF/DF for the most part because there are so many good substitutes. It’s not like twenty years ago, which is the last time I did this kind of thing. Back then, it was for bronchial issues. I gave up gluten, dairy, and sugar–and the substitutes were slim pickings. Most everything was made of arrowroot and tapioca pudding. The ‘bread’ was horrid and nearly inedible. Oh, and the dairy substitute was soy, which I don’t like. It was a sad and sorry time for me, but now, it’s easy to find GF/DF foods that tastes good.
Back then, it was also me sitting there gloomily trying to convince myself that Tofutti sour cream was a decent substitute for the real thing. When I was able to wrap my mind around the idea that they weren’t going to taste like what they purported to be, I actually had an easier time accepting them for what they were. It didn’t mean I liked them, but I didn’t rage over it, either.
Now, it’s an embarrassment of riches. There are plenty of good subs that taste as good if not better than the original. Bread, noodles, yogurt, ice cream, milk, and more. The one thing that I have yet to find, however, is a really good GF/DF pizza. I’m eating a Daiya one right now (“meat” lovers, I think). While it’s ok, it’s just not the real thing. The crust is thin and bland. The cheese is ok. Which is weird because Daiya’s fake cheese is one of the best in the biz. But in this case, it’s just not up for the job. Probably because it’s just mozz, which is not my fave, anyway, and a rather bland cheese. I put olives on it, which helps minimally.
The last time I went DF/GF/SF (sugar-free), I lasted four months before I started dreaming, literally, of pasta and pizza. Not at the same time, but it was very disconcerting, regardless. When I told my therapist about it, she told me to go ahead and eat some pasta and/or pizza. I did and never looked back.