i just lost a tooth. An old decaying tooth, I think, but still. I think it had a crown on it, but also, sitll. I had not been to the dentist since before the pandemic and had just been about to make an appointment when the pandemic happened. Now, this is forcing my hand because…well, I think this is the same tooth I lost before. Maybe? I’ve been having issues with this particular tooth for a long time. I’m not good with my teeth. Or wait. Maybe it was the other side. I have a missing crown there.
I don’t remmeber. All this was before I ended up in the hospital, so, rightly or wrongly, I put it way down my list of things to worry about. Probably wrongly because I’m still alive, which means I need teeth. And now that I’m in my second bonus year, I have to entertain the thought that maybe I won’t be dying for the third time any time soon.
In my first bonus year, I was just amazed to be alive. I marveled every day at the miracle, which meant not much time for anything else. Now that I am less stunned by it, that means I can look at what living my life actually means.
In the past two weeks, I have injured myself three times. I fell down the front stairs once, fell on the driveway once, and spilled hot coffee on myself once. The last incident was a complete accident as I just sat down on my couch, picked up my coffee, and spilled it. I wasn’t doing anything outlandish like carrying twenty things at once (which I’ve done), juggling three different beverages (which I’ve also done).
It wasn’t boiling though it was close, but it was mostly caught by my shirt. Or so I thought. Today, I saw that it’s red and sore, but not skin peeling off, thankfully. I put antibiotitc ointment on it and hope that it’ll be ok. I will admit that I’m a bit unhappy about it, but what am I going to do?
As to the two falls, those were totally on me. In the first case, I was not paying attention as I went down the stairs. I was scrolling on my phone, which is a bad habit. The second time, I was pulling a heavy box that was falling apart into the garage–or was I pushing? Either way, I slipped and fell. I ended up with a bruise on my left knee and a slightly tweaked right pec after the first fall, and a bruise on my rigth boob and a nasty scrape on my right elbow after the second fall.
Then, after the two falls, I got my fourth vax, the bivalent booster, which fucked me up but good. I was expecting it, but it’s still harder every time than I prepared myself for. I’m exhausted, and I think it’s the last gasps of the shot. It’s been…two weeks since my shot, I think? Two weeks and one day. I got it on a Friday.
It’s been a not great last two weeks. In addition to all the inventive ways I’ve hurt myself, I’ve just been really tired. Not exhausted as I was when I got pneumonia, but just really tired. Probably the shot–that’s my guess. It’s causing my sleep to be weird, though. Or rather, I’m not sleeping as much as I was before. I’m down to six and a half hours a night for the past three or four nights. Before last night, that is. I got seven hours last night, which is better than it had been for several nights before, but not as good as the eight hours I had been getting before that.
Before I ended up in the hopsital, I would have shrugged and just accepted it as the way things were. Actually, if I had gotten seven hours on the regular, I would have been thrilled because before I ended up in the hospital, I got six-and-a-half hours a night whilst waking up twice and not being able to fall back asleep. After the hospital, I got a solid eight hours a night wihle maybe waking up once. In the last few nights, it’s been back to 6 1/2 hours a night and more than one wake-up.
I don’t want to go back to that; I don’t know how to prevent it from happening. I have a doctor’s appointment in a few weeks to get my meds updated, so maybe I’ll ask him about it then. I’m upset because my insurance changed at the beginning of this year, and Regions doens’t take my basic insurance. That means I no longer have access to the doctors I had seen while I was in the hospital.
That’s life in America, though. My mother and I have had arguments about the healthcare in Taiwan vs. the healthcare in America. They have universal healthcare in Taiwan, and there are negatives to it. You make an appointment for a day, but you have to wait until they can jam you in for two minutes. You don’t really have a set time, and it can be hours until the doctor sees you.
My mom talked about how great healthcare is in the United States. Yes, if you can afford it. I told her it was very stratified and that for most people, they did not get the Cadillac care that she did. Especially since it’s tied to employment, it’s dififcult to have good insurance if you don’t have money. Or a great job.
Now I have a hole in my mouth, but it doesn’t hurt. I was eating a tuna and peas (among other things) wrap, and I felt something rolling in my tooth hole. it was a pea, which was very weird. I’m pretty sure the tooth was dead before it came out, and it does not hurt at all. Which is good for me now, but is dire for my tooth.
This is not a good time for me. But even saying that, I have to put an asterisk at the end of it because I’m alive. I will always be thankful for that, but it doesn’t mean that the daily annoyances won’t get to me.