I’m going to brag for a minute. This isn’t even a humble-brag–it’s just a brag. I have a high EQ (Emotional Quotient/emotional intelligence) and have for my whole life. I can read people in a way that most people can’t. I’m not psychic–I’m just extremely adept at picking up cues. It’s both nature (I was born this way) and nurture (my mother overtly demanded it of me and my father passively deemed it his just due), and I’m not always pleased that I can do it. Believe me, I would rather not know half the shit I do about people.
In addition, I can look at an issue and instantly see it from several different sides. It’s partly because I tend to think deeply about things, and I sometimes take it for granted. For example, I had heard of Maintenance Phase, a podcast about fatphobia in America. That is a gross simplification, but it’ll do for my purpose. I had seen so many people rave about it at Ask A Manager, and they are generally a thoughtful crowd.
I listened to the first two or three podcasts and….it’s fine. I ilke the two hosts. A lot. I think they are engaging, down-to-earth, and relatable. But. And this is a big but. Their viewpoint is very white. Like, very white. Which is what they are, so that makes sense in that way. In addition, one of the hosts is not fat. Michael Hobbes. He is the son of someone who was fat, and he is very thoughtful, but it’s just strange to me. There are two hosts and one is a normie, for lack of a better word. I tend to think that if you’re going to talk about a subject, the ‘experts’ should be in that category themselves–for a podcast, I mean.
Putting that aside, the information is solid, but this is where I was surpised. it’s very basic. Like, there was nothing in the first few podcasts that made me go, “Whoa! I did not know that.” That’s not completely true as I did not know the history of fitness programs in schools, but I would have intuited that it was what the hosts described it to be.
It really feels like Fatphobia 101, which is fine! That’s probably what it’s meant to be. I was just surprised how so many of the people at AAM were gushing over it as if it were something mindblowing. Which, to be fair, it is mindblowing to push back on BMI, overweight means bad person, etc., in our society. It’s shocking to say that someone being fat is not immoral or grotesque. It’s sad that this is true, but this is the society in which we live.
So, I should not be surprised that so many people think that the podcast is brilliant.
OK. In looking for a video to embed in this tpost, I just found out this existed:
How did I not know??????
I am shooketh! I…my life has turned upside down!! I jest, but I’m also not joking. I was a huge Alan Rickman fan, and I have a hard time believing that I did not know about this! Then again, I only became hooked on Alan after watching the Potter movies. The first one was released the same year as this movie, so that gives me some cover. But still!
Anyway, back to how deeply I think (about Alan Rickman. By the way. When he died, I woke up to hundreds of condolences on my socials. Ian sent me an ‘I’m sorry’ message, and I had to laugh, albeit ruefully because I had always said that I wanted my name tobe linked to Alan Rickman’s. To this day, I still have people tweeting me things with him in them–mostly memes.
What was I talking about? Oh yes. Social justice issues. I pretty much have to censor what I say all the time. Or rather, tailor it. We all have to mask to a certain degree, but some of us have to mask harder and more than others. There was a post on AAM from a person with ADHD and low impulse control. Like really low impulse control. Which would not be that big an issue except they want to be in a high-paying, stable job.
Th ecmoments were…interesting. There were the normies who gave the useless ‘have you tried yoga?’ responses. “Just try not to be inappropriate.” Gee, why didn’t I think of that? ‘Have you tried yoga?’ is the catch-all phrase that so many people suggest for any physical ailment as if it were the end-all, be-all.
So, yes, there were neurotypical people suggesting that the OP (Original Poster) just try harder or think before they speak. Which is useless and assumes it’s under the person’s control. It’s hard when you don’t have that issue to truly understand that it’s not just ‘be more careful when you speak’. IThere’s a truism in any ism that if you’re not a part of the mariginalized community in question, you should listen more than you speak. Which most people ignore.
So, yes. The ‘have you just tried’ crowd is level one of responding to the question. “This thing works for me, a neurotypical person, so it should work for you, a neurotypical person.”
Then there were people with ADHD who offered tips that helped them. Such as having a list of verboten topics/activities at work. This person got in trouble for including a picture of Heidi Klum’s Halloween costume of her as a worm (very gross) in an all-company email. And the OP was a temp, I think. Or a part-time employee. I just re-read. she was a temp and got fired after sending that email.
Some people in the comments were upset that she got fired for that one picture, but most people rightly pointed out that it was more a ‘last straw’ situation. Plus, she was a temp. There was no reason to keep her if she was acting very much out of bounds with the office culture. Some thought she sounded like a hoot whereas others thought she was tiring.
There were several people who were neuroatypical who were discouraged by the ableism in the comments and how ignorant some people were. And, the thing is, I could see bits and pieces being true from many different points of view. It’s not easy just to be normal, as it were. Telling someone to really think about their behavior when they have low-impulse control issues is not helpful. Someone said she had a delay on all her emails (just a minute or two, I think) so nothing went out on impulse. Yes, it was more work in general, but it became rote and just part of her routine.
People like things to be black and white, right or wrong. Oh wow. In re-reading the post, I just noticed that Alison affixed a blue note to the top. I hadn’t seen that before, and she usually does it when the normies take over and shouldn’t. As they did in this case. I just found an update by the original OP in the comments, and they sounded like they pretty much had it sorted.
It just underscored to me that people have a really difficult time looking at things from a different point of view. i mean, I knew it, but posts like this one really push the point home. Gonna leave it here for now and maybe pick up on the point I wanted to make in the next post. We’ll see.