Underneath my yellow skin

Tag Archives: Elden Ring

Maybe time to move on?

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Before my medical crisis, I was very much into FromSoft games, in part for the difficulty and pride in beating the games. When I heard Elden Ring was coming out, I had this elaborate plan about how I would have two different characters. One would be for my solo run and the other would be for co-op. Then, I had my medical crisis and all that went out the window. The only thing I wanted was another Miyazaki world to explore. Lovely, bleak, tense, gruesome, and achingly heartbreaking at the same time.

I got all that and more with the game. It’s incredible; it really is. However (and you knew there was going to be a ‘however/but’ after that statement), I have been havinng a problem with the difficulty since Sekiro in 2019. Actually, since the DLc of Dark Souls III a few years earlier, but Sekiro really underscored that the games were going in a direction I wasn’t comfortable with.

I was relieved when they went back to Souls combat in Elden Ring, but the brutality in the last quarter of the game really drained the enjoyment for me. I’ve talked many times about how From has bought its own hype and makes the end of their games way too hard. Yeah, I said it. They are too hard at the end.

Well, let me rephrase that. They are too hard for me because that’s not why I play the games. Not back then and doubly so now. And I am tired of feeling like I suck at the games. Whether I do or not. (I do, but maybe not sa much as I think I do.)

Side note: The new thing in soulslikes is making the parry/deflect king–like in Sekiro. I. Fucking. Hate. This. I can’t parry. I have never been able to parry. I don’t mean ‘won’t’; I mean can’t. I spent hours trying to parry the Silver Knights in Anor Londo. I got to the point where I could parry the sword guys 75% of the time. The spear guys? Maybe 15% of the time. 20% if I was feeling lucky.


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Elden (five golden) Ring(s) DLC desires

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In the last post, I rambled all over the place about Elden Ring in general because that’s my style. I know that the DLC is going to be over-the-top in terms of difficulty because that has become FromSoft’s trademark, but I really hope it doesn’t. Starting with Sekiro, I was hitting the top of my ability. Actually, starting with Dark Souls II DLC, really. You know what? No. It’s just every goddamn game. But I will say that the DLC of Dark Souls III was when I really noticed it. Then, with Sekiro, it just became very obvious that I sucked at the game. “When it clicks–” oh shut the fuck up. It never clicked with me, and I went trhough the game, stony-faced and teeth set, grimly beating each boss by whittling down their health. My nibling’s spouse messaged me (after I said that the combat hadn’t clicked with me) to say, “I didn’t think it was possible to beat this boss (Genichiro) without deflecting. I wrote back and said, “It’s possible, but it’s not fun.”

I will just say it. I disliked playing that game and now, I can’t play it at all. Again, not will not, but cannot. I am simply not able. I mean, I may be able to whittle down every boss’s health again, but I don’t want to do that. And I’m not even sure I could do that, actually. After my medical crisis (months later), I tried to fight my nemesis, Father (Owl), and he just handed my ass to me over and over again. And again. I cheesed him the first time I fought him, but I couldn’t even do that. And I know that I could not beat the last boss again without a lot of blood, sweat, and tears. If I could even do it!

I love the FromSoft games. I’m sure I’ve said that a time or twenty. But I do not love how they inevitably buy their own hype so that the last quarter of every game is just tears. Actually, in this game, it’s the second half of the game. Starting with the (oh, obviously, *SPOILER WARNING* for the whole game and the whole post) Mountaintop of the Giants until the end of the game, it just…

How do I explain it?


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Elden Ring DLC, what I want, part four

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Apparently, I have more to say about what I want (what I really, really want) from the Elden Ring DLC. I will be brutally honest. I don’t want really hard bosses that make me cry. I just don’t. I sort of bought into the mentality before my medical crisis. I would never say it out loud, but I made it my personal policy to beat bosses solo and I felt bad when I couldn’t do it.

Side note (yes, already!): I was the same way with being fat. I have hated my body for most of my life. My mother put me on my first diet when I was seven and consistantly told me how fat and disgusting (implied) I was for the next twenty years or so. At some point, can’t remember exactly when, but it was probably in my early thirties, I had to ban her from mentioning my weight at all. Not even under the guise of being concerned about my health was she to mention it.

She did not like it. At all. She was pissed, but I held firm (for once in my life) because she did not give two figs about my health. It was just how I looked and whether I could get a man or not. And, yes, specifically a man. A woman without a man was worthless in her eyes. Even a terrible husband like my father was better than being alone according to her.

She instilled a deep hatred of my own body in me. I was made to feel that I was beyond grotesque because I was solid. I wasn’t even fat at that age. I was chunky and solid, yes, because I have a mesomorph’s body, but I was not fat. And even if I was, I was seven. I was not fully formed yet, obviously (though I would say I am still not), but it set me down a dark path for the next forty-plus years.

When I started taking Taiji classes, I slowly begin to let go of my body hatred. I was amazed at what my body could do, but I still wished it came in a better package. I tried to balance the fact that it could do so many awesome things with the feeling that it was so ugly.

I always refused to talk about diets, bodies, and anything like that. Intellectually, I knew tha tbeing fat was not a moral failing or something that should be mocked. There were fat people I found gorgeous, but for me? No. I never looked in the mirror and I hated having my picture taken. It’s kind of funy that my mother gets frustrated that I refuse to have my picture taken, but it’s her damn fault! You can’t consistently tell your child that you think they’re gross and disgusting, and then expect that they’ll be happy to have their picture taken! Especially an AFAB child!


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Third part of what I want from the Elden Ring DLC

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I have more to say about what I want from the Shadow of the Erdtree DLC. Here is part two–which means this is part three. I always feel like I’m on the weird side of FromSoft fandom. There’s the “you’re a pussy if you play the game in any way other than the hardest way possible” faction, which, sadly, is the loudest faction. And the prominent faction representing the content creators. That and the total newbies, who turn out ot be suspiciously good at the games. I know that’s natural selection and confirmation bias, but it’s, well, frankly, boring to me. Watching someone be really good at the games, I mean. I don’t begrudge them, and I understand why people enjoy watching them. I just don’t find it interesting myself.

In addition, many of the communities are toxic AF. So much testosterone, I could choke on it. It’s disgusting, actually. I want nothing to do with it. The whole idea of ‘git gud’ and that there’s only one way to play the games if you want to be a ReAl FrOmSoFt FaN. It’s one reason I stay away from most of the communities. The casual (but virulent and relentless) sexism is grotesque.

Even in RKG, there’s the mentality that you have to suffer for the game. I get it, to a certain extent. The lads play the games in the Retry category, which is reserved for hard games. They don’t want it to be too easy for Rory. But it’s a shame that he’s missing out on things in the game because of the restrictions. Such as no spirit summons for bosses. Though that comes and goes as needs must, and  I have a feeling that in the late game, it might be done away with. Or not.

My feeling is that if Rory is fine with it, I’m fine with it. It’s his game. I want him to enjoy it as much as I do, and he’s at his best when he’s free-wheeling it. There was one field boss fight in which Gav and Krupa really pressured him not to use the spirit summon. He reluctantly gave in and dutifully parried the boss for the win, but when Gav asked, “Isn’t that better?”, Rory noticeably did not answer. In the video I included below (time-stamped for the specific moment), he is trying to cast a dragon incantation, but doesn’t really know how to do it. So he thinks he’s rubbing butter on himself, which is hilarious! “I just buttered myself up!” Never change, Rory.

Here’sl the thing. He’s good at the games, at least mechanically. His reflexes are very good, and he can read bosses pretty well. Krupa has openly admitted that Rory is better at the games than he is–and Rory is doubly good at the games as I am. At the same time, I feel like he can’t win. If he does too well, then people whine about it not being fun. If he does poorly, then they whine about him not optimizing his build and all the things they think he’s doing wrong.


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What I want from Shadow of the Erdtree

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I have written several posts about what I think might be in the Elden Ring Shadow of the Erdtree DLC. I will be honest with you–it’s all wild speculation. Well, most of it. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that the blue-hooded woman is Roderika’s sibling (or maybe a friend, but I’m doubling down on sister),

I would love to see more of Roderika and since this DLC is widely considered to be outside the timeline of the base game, we don’t have to worry about that aspect. The ending for Roderika and Hewg is one of the most poignant storylines in the game. And, yes, there will be *spoilers* throughout this post.

In the base game, Roderika becomes like the adopted daughter of Hewg, the chained blacksmith. They sit across from each other. Roderika went to the Lands Between to be grafted, but she said she was too cowardly to do it.

Turns out she had a talent for spirit tuning–which means she’s the one who upgrades your spirit ashes. She learned under the tutelage of Hewg, who said he owed it to a spirit turner he once knew.

OH MY GOD.

It’s her mother, not her sister. The woman with the blue hood. And she’s the one who Hewg knew. Oh, please, please, please let that be the case! I would be so thrilled about that. Or maybe that blue-hooded figure is not related to Roderika, but is the woman Hewg once knew. I would be fine with that as well.

Hewg mentoered her and taught her all he knew. Then, as the game progressed, it became clear that he was not all there. He forgot things he should have known, which to me, signals that he had dementia. Roderika was worried about him as well. Then, I don’t remember exactly when, but I think after you beat the final boss, the RoundTable Hold goes on fire. which is very much a From thing. The safe area goes on fire when the story is done. Hewg won’t leave, and Roderika decides to stay by him.

This is in dicert contrast to Gideon and Nepheli Loux. By the way, I always call her Nepheli Loux. I don’t know why because I don’t call anyone else out by all their names, but for her, it’s both names. Always. She is the best. Anyway, she was the adopted daughter of Gideon until she questioned him about an atrocity he committed, and he turned on her. That broke my heart because she was distrught and blamed herself, but it was all on Gideon.

Having the oddly uplifting ending of Hewg and Roderikka really heartened me. Yes, it’s still bleak. The Roundtable Hold was afire and he was losing his mind, but Roderika was determined to stay by his side.

So, yes. I  want the blue-hooded lady to be Hewg’s friend. That would mean everything to me.


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Shadow of the Erdtree speculation, part three

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Yes, it’s another post about the Shadow of the Erdtree trailer. Elden Ring. FromSoft. DLC. Here was part two. Oh, by the way, I saw there was an area in the ‘crumbly lands’ (as Rory from RKG calls Crumbling Farum Azula) that I had not seen before. One with a Crucible Knight I had not fought before. What?! How could there still be something I haven’t seen in the game? I had gotten up to a certain point, but didn’t explore thoroughly enough, apparently. I know this because there was a talisman mentioned that I did not have (you don’t need all the talismans for the plat, just the legendary ones).

I went to the new area and got the talisman, but only becuase I had the ability to sneak by all the enemies without fighting them. This area is hard as nails, and I did not enjoy it at all with my squishy caster. Yes, the character was a strengthcaster, but soft on the strength and heavy on the caster. I’m going to do the DLC with this character beacuse that’s the way I do, but it’s going to be so fucking hard. If I had any sense, which I apparently don’t, I would do the DLC with my strength character who has somtehing like 70 Vigor and 70 Strength. Yes, the soft cap is 60, but I don’t care. I was just going all out with doing a strength run.

And I will say without equivocation that running with a strength character is SO MUCH EASIER than being a caster. So much so that when I didn’t kill Mohg on the first try (got him to a sliver) as a strength character, I was pissed. When I met him on my first playthrough, I was pleasead to beat him on the tenth or so run with my caster. I crushed the game with my strength character. I was curious to see how I would do against Malenia because melee should be much harder against her. I did about the same as I did with my caster because Mimic Tear and I just completely stunned her with our fully upgraded greatswords and Hoarfrost Stomp. She did not stand a chance. I got her in roughhly the same amount of tries as I did with my caster, which was about a dozen.

Anyway. Back to the trailer. I left off in the last post just before my favorite moment. In a trailer chockful with new enemies, places, consumables, and weapons; in a trailer that was exciting from start to finish, you would be forgiven for thinking that my favorite moment was when there was a boss reveal or a new enemy design or even the new cutie, hipporcupine, who I talked about in the last post. So happy and gleeful as it spiked out its face.


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Baseless Shadow of the Erdtree speculation, part two

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So, in the last post, I talked about the first half of the Shadow of the Erdtree trailer and posited several wild theories. I can’t stress enough that I am not a Vaati in any way and that all my theories are juest me spitballing. Any time I watch one of his lore videos, I’m just amazed at how he’s able to piece everything together so well. Also, I remember his video on The Ringed City DLC. There’s a puzzle in it that when you knew the solution, it makes perfect sense (in the realm of FromSoft games). Well, no it doesn’t really.Even knowing what you have to do, it doseon’t make sense. Not even with the cryptic note that is given.

Vaati said it took about ten hours to figure it out (and it takes maybe a minute to do once you know the secret), and he casually added, “Because there are no wikis and I don’t have a Vaati to tell me what to do.” It was very funny. He went through all the machinations he tried in order to figure out the puzzle and his thought process. Mad props to him because I would have given up hours earlier than he did and just waited for someone else to figure it out.

I don’t actually watch that many lore videos because I like making things up in my head. It’s the same with other mediums–I’d rather not analyze ever word and every shot. When I was doing my MA, one of the profs liked to go page by page with a book and deconstruct every word. I remmeber he spent ten minutes on one word in a book, and all I could think was, “Maybe he just liked the way that word sounded.” He said that since the book was so sparse, every word had to be meaningful. I almost wanted to scream because that was not what I considered good analysis of art. In addition, not all writers wrote like that–I certainly don’t. I’m not precious about my word choice, and I write really fast. So I’m not laboring for an hour over each word.

Anyway.

Back to the trailer. Why am I dissecting it like this? Because I can, but also to take my mind off my life–even if it’s only temporoary. And why not? It’s been fun to do and I’m only half-done.

I looked more into the lion head boss, and I could not find any outfit like that one. But I noticed more similarities between it and Margit/Morgott, such as the ‘thorns’ that are on the robe around the head. And the fact that it’s definitely a humanoid figure who is wearing a lion’s head over its own. it doesn’t loo,k like a real lion’s head, either. The way it moves its head is not the way a real lion would.


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Shadow of the Erdtree reflections

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Last week, it was announced that the much-anticipated trailer for the Shadow af the Erdtree trailer (Elden Ring DLC) was going to drop on Wednesday, February 21st. I was  so stoked. It had been almost two years since the game came out, and I was ready for the DLC.

Then, something terrible in my personal life happened that made me unable to enjoy the trailer or participate too much in the discussion of it in the RKG Discord. It’s been almost a week since then, but I’m still dealing with the tragedy. However, I have watched the trailer several times and content creators’ reactions to the trailer. Almost to a person, it’s been sheer, unbridled enthusiasm–and terror.

FromSoft gives a ton away in their trailers. I usually don’t watch them. You can’t really tel what’s going on without context, but they are not shy about showing off the bosses in the trailers. In fact, the final boss of Dark Souls III was on the box cover. I’ve soften a bit about watching trailers and since it’s been two years, and I wanted to get hyped for the DLC, I decided to watch it.

It’s incredible. FromSoft does a trailer like no one else. They say everything and nothing at all with each. The music and art direction are both beyond compare. And the boss/enemy design is so goddamn imaginative. And this trailer is the best yet.

Here’s the thing . Given the rabid fanbase, it’s hard for FromSoft to keep surpassing themselves–and yet, they do. This trailer is jaw-droppingly amazing. I remember when the game came out, there was a games journalist who snippily said that the game wasn’t that great-looking and that she had seen it all before. After five minutes of the game. Look. They may not push the graphic fidelity envelope, but their art design is quality.

I’m still dealing with my personal life, but I have more capacity to analyze the trailer now. I have watched a ton of reactions and read theories. I have included the trailer, obviously, and I want to throw out my own wild theories about what I saw in the trailer. After that, I’ll mentioned the other theories I’ve read/heard. I’m not watching any actual lore videos because I don’t want to know ahead of time. But I’ve heard enough to ponder and either agree or reject the premise.

First of all, everyone who said that we’d access the DLC through Miquella’s egg were right. Which means defeating Mohg–who was fairly easy for me the first time around, but really annoyed me as a pure melee/strength character. I got him down to a sliver the first time with that character, and then he did his bullshit blood heal bullshit. He got me, and I lost any interest in beating him fairly. So I cheesed him with no regrets.


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Elden Ring, NPC questlines, part five

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Apparently, this is my current obsession. NPC questlines in Elden Ring, I mean. It’s in part because I’m rewatching the first series of the boys playing Elden Ring and all the accempanying Roundtable Holds. They talk quite a bit about the NPCs in the game, and Rory and Gav are quite invested in the stories.It helps to have a Krupa painstakingly explaining things and piecing things together for them. Here was the last post, which was part four.

I have never had the same favorites in any of the From games whom everyone else loves. In the OG Dark Souls, it was Solaire and the Onion Knight (Siegmeyer). I will never say this in any From forum, but Soliare is not in my top five in the game, let alone the series. In an episode of Krupa’s plat (for the original I think?), he asked me which NPC was my favorite because I said something casually about my favorite, and why was it Solaire?

It’s not. It’s Laurentius of the Great Swamp, and it’s because he’s my pyro teacher. I do really like Siegmeyer (Onion Knight), but I like his daughter, Sieglinde, even better. I would put Quelana before Solaire as well. Also a pyro teacher.

And, of course, Patches. He is always in my top five in every game he’s in. Weirdly, his replacement in two, Pate, is not on my list. I always side with Creighton in that battle.

Since we’re on the sceond game, let me rattle off a few of my faves in that game. Lucatiel, of course. She’s the best–the absolute best. Um. Ah. I had to Google. It’s been some time since I played this game. But also, the NPCs aren’t as interesting for the most part. I like Straid of Olaphis quite a bit–and, yes, he’s another pyro teacher. Not just pyros, though. Also hexes and boss soul items. Ornifex is pretty cool, too. She does more important boss soul items. Manscorpion Tark and the Head of Vengarl are pretty cool, too, but not to the level of ‘they’re the best!’. I like the second game better than most people do, but I will admit that the NPC questlines are lacking.

Dark Souls III. My favorite game before Elden Ring. Now tied. My recent returrn to Lothric was incredible and reminded me of how much I loved the game. I found ways to cheese that I had not known before. Dorhy’s Gnawing is so damn good. It’s like Swarm of Flies from Elden Ring.

In the third game, Yuria is BAE. Then there’s Sirris and Karla. Karla can teach pyros, just to keep that consistent. The fact that I love pyro teachers, I mean. Anri is the best as well, and his/her questline and Yuria’s are entwined.

It’s funny because there are a few NPCs who turn into bosses in this game. And there are a few in Elden Ring as well. Oh. I forgot Bloodborne–my secnd-least favorite From game.

Eileen the Crow. The end. She is by far the best NPC of the game. Like, can I even think of any other? And, yes, you can fight her as an enemy/boss at some point if you go down a certain path. Her armor is awesome and her weapon is great if you’re a dex character. She is the hunter of hunters, and she’s just the best. She is a black British woman in real life, which I appreciate as well. Look. Diversity matters, even if you can’t see the person. And her voice is just lovely.


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Elden Ring NPC questlines, part four

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Well, I stil have more to say about Elden Ring NPC questlines, apparently. Here was part three and this is, by logical deduction, part four. It’s mind-blowing to think of how many NPCs and characters are in this game. It’s also fun to watch Gav and Rory of RKG react to the people they meet/hear of. Gav is Welsh, so he is happy as a clam that there are so many Welsh voice actors in this game. They have an official Welsh counter, too.

Gav was so excited when they hit the bit with Ranni and her three advisors. They called it becoming a part of the Welsh Avengers. Gav was trying so hard to find a way to make Seluvis acceptable (when they first met), but even he had to admit that Seluvis was a dickhead when Seluvis’s underground chamber was revealed. To be clear, Seluvis is a Grade A jerk. There is no redeeming quality to him, and I’m interested to see if Krupa can glean a rationale for Ranni having him as an advisor.

Have they met all the NPCs yet? No. There are several I can think of that they have yet to meet. They have talked in RTH about how many NPCs they’ve met so far. Krupa has pointed out that within ten or so episodes, they had probably met more NPCs than in any other game.

Gav said that he liked it because it gave them something focused to do for a litlle bit. It’s funny who they get attached to. Rory really liked Edgar and thought he was going to be a big part of the game. His quest is very short and self-contained.

Then there’s Kenneth Haight. Most of his questline is done within a few scenes, but there is a late-game addendum to his questline–as long as you do Nepheli Loux’s questline as well. I totally missed it on my first playthrough because I messed up a step of Nepheli Loux’s questline. I’m sure Krupa will guide them through it so they will get the triumphant ending for Nepheli Loux. I will admit I was surprised that they didn’t even think twice before doing what Seluvis wants you to do–which is give Nepheli Loux a potion.

It’s one of a very few things I have refused to do in the game because it’s so against my principles. I know she’s not real, but I just cannot. I did give it to Dung Eater twice, but even then, it made me feel not great.

And, yes, I know that he is not real, either, but it is simply not something I feel comfortable with. At all. I have a hard enough time buying the puppets that Seluvis puts on offer.


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