Underneath my yellow skin

Tag Archives: frigid

Trying to wean off my Dark Souls addiction

I’ve been morbidly watching the weather because we’re in a cold snap to end all cold snaps. It’s currently -15, ‘feels like’ -24, which is twice as warm as it was yesterday! It was supposed to get much warmer today, but Mother Nature apparently changed her mind. How like a woman, amirite? Ew. That felt gross, even saying it in jest. Yesterday, it went as low as ‘feels like’ -53. I kept checking because I wanted it to hit -60. Again, it was just morbid curiosity because it really doesn’t matter after a point. ‘Feels like’ -53 isn’t much different than ‘feels like’ -30. I don’t know exactly where that difference is, but it’s nowhere near where we are right now.

I’ve also been fighting off something or the other while dealing with sinus issues. I’m half-convinced it’s allergies because I mostly feel it right after I wake up and before I go to bed, and I’m fair-to-middling during the day. This morning, however, I woke up with something a bit more than usual, and I know I’m fighting something off. Which is aggravating. As I stated before, I’d rather just be sick and get over it in a few days (even though it’s never a few days. The worst part of it is a few days, then it lingers for weeks after).

I’ve put Dark Souls III on the back burner for now (uninstalled it) am an now tromping through Lordran again (Dark Souls Remastered). I forgot my current character is on NG++, and man, is she powerful. I’m wielding the Black Knight Halberd +5, and I’m enjoying it greatly. It surprises me because I’m not a polearm kind of gal, but the BKH is a fast and powerful weapon, and it’s great for crowd control. I was up to going to Anor Londo, running against the dastardly duo (Silver Knight Archers) before meeting up with the other dastardly duo (Biggie & Small). I actually made it into the church in one go, which I did the last two times as well. The key is running past the goddamn spears with confidence, ignoring the guy on the left, and attacking the guy on the right. Being powerful enough to block the spears he shoots at me is nice, and I was able to slice him to ribbons before he could kill me.

May I just say that being a Havel monster is the best? Yes, I was wearing the entire set, and, yes, it mitigates a lot of damage, but it takes a long time to reach the point where you can wear the whole set. I’m at 40 Vit, 50 End, and 50 Strength, so I’m a beast. I’m at 19 in Attunement, which gives me 5 attunement slots. That’s insane because you need 30 levels to have 5 attunement slots in Dark Souls III. Then again, magicks are much more powerful in DSIII because of the mana bar rather than the limited amount of casts in the original. For example, I have the Hidden Body spell in DSR, and I have 3 casts between bonfires. THREE. In comparison, I’m constantly casting it in DSIII, and I never run out of mana. Yes, I know it’s FP (Focus Points), but it’s mana. I have my flasks as 10/5, and I have a healthy mana bar. Plus, I wear the ring that conserves FP, so I can pyro my way throughout the areas.

In DSR, I have to save Hidden Body for special situations. Hidden Body/Slumbering Dragoncrest Ring to be a ninja. Currently, I’m wearing the Witch Set because I’m messing with the Hidden Body/Slumbering Dragoncrest Ring combo, which means I can’t wear Havel’s ring, which means I can’t wear his armor. There are only two ring slots in DS, and one of them is permanently taken by the Ring of Favor and Protection. It boosts HP, stamina, and equip load, but it breaks if you take it off. Therefore, I really only have one ring slot to play around with, which is frustrating.


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A New Meaning to the Word Frigid

iced tea, yes. iced junk, no.
Don’t put this in/on your vag/dick.

Ed. Note: One of my Facebook friends, Saumya, pointed out that since this is a British article, the -160 degrees is probably Celsius, which, as she noted, was around -250 degrees Fahrenheit (-256 to be precise). I had thought of that, but I just hoped it wasn’t true because -160 is bad enough. She took one for the team and checked the spa’s website, and it’s -160 C. Now, I’m doubly horrified. 

As many of my longtime readers know, I like cold and snow. A lot. Winter is my favorite season, and I like to play a little game of ‘how long can I drive in the winter with the windows down?” I love dancing naked in the snow, even though we haven’t had enough to make it worthwhile in quite some time. It’s kind of my thing to tweet about dancing in snow, naked, at midnight, and, no, there will never be video of it. I love stepping out into the crisp winter air and feeling the hairs in my nose freeze. I feel the most alive when I’m slightly shivering, and I don’t put on a coat until it’s sub-zero degrees outside. I don’t think I wore a coat more than three times this past winter, making do with a sweatshirt and gloves. I’ve periodically researched the coldest, snowiest places on earth because Minnesota has been more mild lately. I would like to stay in an ice hotel one day because I think that would be an amazing experience. In other words, you will not find a bigger fan of  cold than me. You know what I don’t like, though? Frostbite. I’ve never had it, but I’ve felt the incipient stage when your extremities start to go numb. I am not a big fan of it, and you know what would be even worse?

Having that feeling in your vag.

“Minna,” I can hear you say. “How in the hell did you get frostbite there?”

First of all, don’t swear. This is a family-friendly blog, for fuck’s sake. Have some decorum, please. Secondly, I have not gotten frostbite there, nor would I want to, but there are people who are paying money to experience the pleasure of becoming frigid.

Literally.

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