Underneath my yellow skin

Another one bites the dust

More FODMAP shenanigans. I bought extra-sharp cheddar cheese as my newest re-intro food because goddamn I miss cheese. Of the dairy products, cheese is the one that doesn’t have a truly great substitute. There are some decent ones, but none that mimic real cheese. The one that I liked the best, daiya’s farmhouse block style, tasted gross to me months later. Which is sad because dill Havarti is my fave, and they had a Jalapeno Havarti that was delicious the first time I ate it. And the next several times. Then, I didn’t eat it for a few months because it’s only available at the co-op, and when I tried it again, it didn’t taste right.

So. I was nervous about trying the extra-sharp cheddar cheese because while it’s supposed to be the dairy that will have the least effect on a digestive system, well, it still obviously bothers some. I bought the smallest block I could find, and I cut off a relatively small chunk, broke it in two pieces, and put it on top of the sausage patties I eat for lunch (each on top of one half of a gluten-free hamburger bun).

I will admit I sat and looked at it for several seconds because I was nervous about the results. I had built it up in my mind so much, and I was not looking forward to the reaction. I knew I would have one–I just didn’t know how bad it would be. Or rather, I was pretty sure I would have one. There was a small part of me that wondered what if I didn’t have a reaction. I would have felt as if I wasted almost three years of my life. But, on the other hand, it would have meant I could eat cheese!!!! Amazing!

Long story short: I had a reaction. The immediate was that I started wheezing and my throat closed a bit. It wasn’t terrible, but it certainly wasn’t comfortable. Then, my stomach started bloating, and that was uncomfortable as fuck. Then, and this is gross, sorry, I was constipated and had very smelly dairy farts. Hours later, I still had the both, and my asshole was burning. Up until the last bit, I was like, I could maybe put up with this once in a while. But, no. Even today, I still have some lingering effects.

Side Note: I just went to vote in the primaries, and I’m so disengaged from politics this year for so many reasons. That’s my MO in general, honestly, but I really got into it when Obama was president. Now, however, I’m reverting back to the norm. No one gives a shit about my demo(s), so why should I give a shit about them? Also, I know I’m going to vote Dem no matter what, so I don’t really need to pay attention to what’s going on, at least for the national races. Also, while I’m a lifelong Democrat, there are so many things about the party that piss me the fuck off.

Anyway, my point is that I’m disengaged this year in particular because of what always happen–we start with a diverse pool, and then slowly winnow down to old straight white dudes. In this case, there is one woman, but I doubt she’s going to be our candidate–though I did vote for her! This is one of my issues with our party. We claim to be the party of diversity, but at the end of the day, it’s old straight cis white dudes. It’s the insidious form of racism, and the one that’s harder to root out.

Anyway, back to food. Cheese is a hard no. I’m relieved to know that I haven’t been shunning it unnecessarily, but I’m sad that I will never get to eat the deliciousness that is cheese again. I’m also trying to think about what I want to add next. Let me consult the list, which has become my BFF. Huh. Sausage is on the list. I’ve been eating it with little negative effect. Goddamn it. Argh. I suppose I could try regular yogurt or ice cream, but I’m pretty much over the dairy products.

Bananas! Ripe! I tried to choke down unripe ones a few weeks ago because they’re low FODMAP, but I cannot stand unripe bananas. Or barely ripe. I like them to be almost black (the skin) before I eat them. That may be next on the list. Gluten, I’m waiting on until I set up an appointment for allergy testing. If I have to intentionally gluten myself, I’d rather do it in the goal of getting a diagnosis rather than just to satisfy my curiosity.

Side Note II: I’ve been exhausted the past few weeks, and I don’t  know why. Is it because I’m doing more weapons work? Is it because I’m getting sick? I don’t know and at this point, I really don’t care. Oh, and it seems to be that if I get more than seven hours of sleep, I’m more tired than if I get less. I know that’s backwards, but it’s the way I work, apparently. Yesterday, I was dozing off as I was watching some videos, which isn’t the worst thing in the world, but it’s disconcerting. I’m used to sleeping six hours and being low-key tired because of it. I’m not used to getting eight or nine hours of sleep when I’m not sick and being exhausted because of it.

Which brings me back to what I’m going to do about my digestive issues. This elimination diet is fine, but I think it’s actually time to go to the doctor and see if I can get some certainty as to what the fuck is going on with me. Add to that my thyroid issues, and there may be a comorbidity I’m not aware of. So, I just have to suck it up and find a new doctor, then set up an appointment to figure out my digestive woes. That should be as easy as pie, right? Right.

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