Today was errand day. My new progressive glasses were ready, and I had to pick up my meds, too. On my way to Target, I heard the beginning of a discussion on sleep on MPR. I sighed because every other time MPR did something on sleep, it was how important it was to get seven to nine hours.
I FUCKING KNOW THAT. STOP TELLING ME THAT. TELL ME HOW TO DO THAT INSTEAD.
Apparently, this show was going to include that pertinent information, but I missed it because I was in Target. I’ll have to look it up later and listen to it to get the pearls of wisdom. I did catch the tail end, and the advice was to put an ice pack on your eyes. It does something to slow the heartbeat (probably ‘coz you think you’re about to die and everything shuts down) that makes it easier to sleep. I did wonder if you’re just supposed to leave the ice pack on your eyes as you fall asleep, and I wear a sleep mask, so what about that? But the doctor said you could use a frozen pack of veggies, which I have. I may have to try it. I’ve tried everything else, so why not?
Anyway, I got my new progressives, which the doc warned me would take time to get used to. He was a month into his first pair, and he was still adjusting. He said the trick was to really focus on whatever it is you’re doing, which is not easy for me to do. I have a tendency to multitask and scan things rapidly, so this will be an exercise in getting me to slow the fuck down.
It’s strange because if I move my head too quickly, the object I’m looking at sort of bends in the middle. I imagine it’s similar to what being on hallucinogenics is like. In general, though, everything is crisp and clear. It’s actually strange because it’s been ten years since I’ve had my eyes checked, and my left one has gotten really bad, apparently.
I also love that there is no line on my glasses. I remember the days when if you needed bifocals, you got that nice line on the glasses. Yes, I’m that old. I chose lenses that were a bit bigger this time with a black half-frame. I like them, but it’ll take getting used to as well.
I like them, though, and I take it as a sign that I’ve done something to take care of myself. It’s a big deal for me because I tend to put these things off for forever. See not getting my eyes checked in ten years. I probably would have left it off even more but one of the nose pieces fell off and one of the handles was broken. I had taped it together, but come on. I’m a grown woman. I should not be jury-rigging my glasses, damn it. I also had toothpaste around my mouth when I went to pick up my glasses. Mortifying! It’s from not looking in the mirror, and I need to start doing it because it was the second time it happened this week.
While I was at Target, I decided to try out some pants/sweats because I needed some desperately. All my sweats have holes in them, and I’ve had most of them for roughly a decade as well. I hate shopping for clothes. Hate it with a passion. Nothing makes me feel like shit more than trying on a dozen or two pairs of pants, and none of them fitting properly with something different being wrong with each one. Still. I’m down to maybe three pairs of acceptable sweats, and I can always use another pair of pants.
I grabbed seven or eight pairs of commercial brands, and trudged my way to the fitting room. I passed by the Ava & Viv section on my way and grabbed a pair of sweats from them as well. They are for plus-sized women, and I think they are the ones who made my bathing suit that made me cry in happiness because I looked decent, and it was all black. Two pieces with a little skirt, and I actually wore it without feeling self-conscious.
Anyway. I brought all the pants/sweats (and one dress) into the fitting room and quickly tried several on. Didn’t like any. A few I saw were too short before I even put them on, so I didn’t bother. I knew I would hate them, and I knew it would make me feel worse about myself I didn’t need that in my life, not when I already feel so shitty about my body.
Side Rant: Why in the fuck is it so hard to make a simple pair of black pants that fit well, has pockets, and isn’t ten miles long? I mean, really? Seriously? Anyway, I was getting frustrated because none of the pants were anything I would ever wear. Until I pulled on the Ava & Viv pair of sweats. They fit like they were made for me, and they were soft and comfy, and they had pockets! I literally felt a ping of happiness in my brain as I looked at them, and I didn’t even care how much they costed. They were mine, and I was going to look if there were any more pairs. There weren’t, but there were other Ava & Viv sweats and Ava & Viv pants that I wanted to try on, and both fit as well.
I couldn’t believe it. Three pairs of pants/sweats that fit, are comfortable, and look decent. I breathed a sigh of relief, and I actually felt…good? Is that what that feeling was? It’s so unfamiliar, I have a hard time parsing it. I bought all three pairs, and I will make that section my first stop any time I need to buy anything. I am not a brand loyalist at all (except my Xbox One controller), but they have earned it. I have spent decades hating shopping, and they’ve made it as painless as possible. Knowing that I can find something that fits, looks decent, and isn’t too expensive makes all the difference in the world. Knowing that I don’t have to spend hours just to find one item that fits is priceless.