Elden Ring.
That’s it. That’s the whole post. No, not really, of course, but ever since a date was announced for the release of the game AND a new trailer (how you spoil us, FromSoft), it’s been at the forefront of my gaming brain. January 21, 2022. Some people in the industry are skeptical it’ll come out then (because for big releases, release dates are often, uh, wishful thinking, shall we say). I, on the other hand, think it’s probably an accurate estimation because they took so long to announce it. FromSoft is very meticulous about things like this and aren’t in the habit of pushing back release dates. So, in five months, I will be able to play Elden Ring. I’m trying not to get too hyped because I don’t want to be disappointed, BUT I’M FUCKING HYPED.
In the meantime, I need games to fill the time. I’m playing a chill game in Early Access called Dorfromantik by Toukana Interactive. It’s a hexagon placement game so I wasn’t really into it until I watched Johnny Chiodini play it on a charity stream. Let me see if I can do justice to it. It’s a city builder. You start with one blank tile (made of the ground). You have a stack of tiles, I think 50 of them, and you have to use them in order. They will have something on them–houses, trees, waterways, for example. One of them will have a number (the number is white and is encase in an icon of color. The colors match with the different features. Light brown is housing (inside a little house), yellow is corn/wheat fields, green is trees, etc.), so, say +5 on a wheat field. That means you have to link five other yellow parts of hexagons with that tile. Obviously, it gets complicated when you have conflicting resources on a tile and you have to figure out the best way to place them. When you complete one of the quests (the plus however many number), you get extra tiles. Five, I think. I never pay attention to the tiles except for the one on top. They just added a creative mode, which I have yet to explore.
That’s it. That’s the whole game. Placing tiles until you run out. You get points per tile (the more connections you make, the more points) and you try to beat your highest score. At least that’s my M.O. There’s nothing else to it, but it’s surprisingly addictive. Before I go to bed, I think I’ll play one run. Two hours later….
Anyway, Gamescom is happening. Yesterday was opening night, which meant Geoff Keighley got to gush a lot and end with his best buddy, Kojima. Or rather, Kojima’s game. It started with a bang! The new Saints Row reboot which looks dope. One of the characters has a black cat full face riding helmet, which I’m here for. Ian got to interview the developers and they said they wanted to rein in the juvenile humor. I appreciate that because what was funny ten years ago is not necessarily funny now. You hear me, Randy Pitchford? Borderlands needed an update to its sensibility and did not get one in the latest iteration. The baddies as YouTube streamers seemed quaint as well. I really hope Saints Row does not go in that direction. I also hope they have kept and updated their excellent character creation. My avi for that game is still my favorite because it looked like an aspirational me as long as I kept my sunglasses on.
I am looking forward to the zaniness of Saints Row without the tired humor. I’m pretty stoked for this as long as they keep the terrific powers, cut down or eliminate the collectibles (I got way too into having to get all of them), checkpoints in missions, and better controls. In Saints Row IV, I made Ian do a section where I had to drive in space because I just couldn’t do it. And I almost made him do the ultimate boss fight because it was bullshit.
The second game that perked my interest caught me by complete surprise. It’s called Cult of the Lamb by Massive Monsters and published by Devolver Digital. I made the joke that it’s The Baaaaaaing of Isaac in the Eurogamer chat and I regret NOTHING. I have no idea what the actual game is about, but it strongly reminded me of The Binding of Isaac. I got demonic vibes from it and you’re a lamb who builds a cult for…reasons? Profit? Who knows! All I know is that I’m totally into it whatever it is. Does this mean I’m part of the cult? Oh no!
There was a lot of faff including awards for games that haven’t come out yet. There was also a lot of shooty-shooty games that don’t interest me at all, including the latest Collar Duty (Call of Duty), which carefully does not say it’s Activision. That was a really long segment about a game that even before the nightmare that is the Activision environment emerged, I cared not one whit at all about. There was also the latest Halo, which, yawn. I. Don’t. Care. In fact, I don’t care about most popular game series. Mass Effect. Elder Scrolls. Fallout. I do not give one whit of a damn! Ok, slight lie. I mainlined Skyrim and loved it for fifty hours before absolutely hating it for twenty-five. I did finish it, but I was hate-playing it at the end just to get through it.
The final game is one I’ve had an eye on since it was first announced. Sifu by Sloclap. It’s a martial arts fighting game and by all accounts, the martial arts is supposed to be true to life. It looks very stylized and I’m intrigued, even though I’m not a fighting game person. Anything with martial arts in it perks my interest and I’m hoping it’s good. One interesting twist is that every time you die, you age in the game. I don’t know how they are going to handle it, but I’m very curious about it.
All in all, I want Elden Ring. I’m still playing Cozy Grove every day, but it’s more…there are some badges I need to get so I’m doing the stuff that will complete it. I’m pretty tired of it, though. I’m not sure I’ll make it to the finish line. I will say that the added content has been…underwhelming at best. I finally got the eighth piece of a treasure map after months of daily digging for it and what did I get for it? Some gold and maybe some gems and/or coins? I carry over 2,000,000 old coins with me at the moment so I do not need any more resources.
I’m not mad at it, mind you. It’s given me so much joy and comfort, I can forgive the less-than-stellar content of the end game. I’ll end the same way I began–give me Elden Ring!