We are rolling along to the end of 2023. This was my second bonus year, which means the end of my terrible twos. I’m going to be three, which means it’s time to pull myself up by my bootstraps. No more lolling around for me!
I have an idea floating in my brain about pop culture. See, I don’t really like much of pop culture. It’s trash, let’s be honest. I don’t think that’s controversial to say. It’s been that way for all of time, so we might as well just be truthful. I remember watching Knives Out right after it came out because I love Hercule Poirot. The novels (though they are problematic now) are some of my favorites and David Suchet is sublime.
Side Note: Can we stop with Poirot portrayals now? Please? I have not even watched the Branagh ones because I hated the trailers. I thought they were too slick and missed the whole point of the character. I really hate the overacting Branagh does as Poirot.
The only new Poirot I would countenance would be one who was actually playedh by a Belgian actor and was from his days on the Belgian Police Force. In other words, save for one story, completely new material. I would be all up for that. But, again, only if it’s an actual Belgian and not a Brit pretending to be a Belgian.
Seriously. Suchet is the end-all, be-all for that portrayal, and we can shut that shit down now. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Anyway.
I really wanted to like Knives Out. I went into it hoping in my heart of hearts that I would like it. I wanted it to be like Poirot. I knew it wasn’t going to be from the trailer, but I still hoped. I hated it within five minutes, and I knew that I was in for a grim time. I also knew who the killer was from the first time I saw them, and even though the movie tried its best to have twists and turns, I was right. And it was for the most mundane and boring reason in the world.
There was nothing original about the movie, and I hated the hyper-cuts. I hated the characters, and I only loved Jamie Lee Curtis chewing up the scenery. I thought it was a terrible movie, and that was when I gave up on movies. I had tried for so long to like them, but I just did not.
It’s like beer (and to some extent, alcohol in general). When I was in college, I was told that everyone had a beer and that I just had to find mine. If someone said that to me now, I would just laugh at them with wild abandon. With scorn? Most definitely. What a narrow point of view! But I went to a college that had a purportedly dry campus, which set up the kids for tons of binge drinking. The campus across the way was wet, and you better believe people flocked to that campus on the regular. There were two colleges and one bar in this small city. That went about as well as you can imagine.
I tried. I really did. So many different kinds of beer. All the beers. And I hated them all. The only one I could tolerate was Bud Light. “But, Minna,” I can hear you say. “That just basically water with a really weak hops flavor.” Exactly! It’s water with hops waved over it. Since I hate the taste of beer, that’s perfect for me. It’s like skim milk back when I used to drink cow milk. People said it’s milk-flavored water. Yup. In that case, I hate the consistency of whole milke. Too thick and snot-like.
Back to movies. I gave up after Knives Out because at some point, it’s just masochism to keep trying. I know there are millions of movies, but the last movie I actually enjoyed was Guardians of the Galaxy–the first one. That was nearly a decade ago. And it didn’t change my life at all, but it was a really fun movie. I think it’s partly because I was not expecting anything from it, so I was pleasantly surprised.
Before that, I had not liked a movie since 2007. (Once). That’s just hilarious to me. I actually liked TWO movies in 2003! Japanese Story and The Agent Station.
Anyway. I have an idea of reviewing movies because I hate them. Why should I leave it to people who love them? I mean, if I love a movie, then it really means something–right? I have really liked six movies in my life (the other is Big Eden in 2001), and that’s not very many. I am obsessed with EEAAO now. I have watched many interviews with the various people involved. I learned that James Hong (who plays the grandfather) went to Central High School here. He’s a Minnesota native!
I think it would be fun to review movies–either ones I think I’ll like or ones I think I’ll hate. I’m putting that in the brain bank for next year.
I have much more to say about this movie, and that’s why I think it might be good to muse about. I have read about the reactions. I have read about the intent. I have my own feelings about that. Many, many feelings. I have not had this many feelings about a movie since Knives Out. Except the feelings were negative for that movie and positive (mostly) for this one.
It’s not a perfect movie. I do not like the end speech by Evelyn (which will be at least one whole post of its own), but it’s a great movie, and it’s a complicated, messy movie about being an Asian American family. Sadly, we do not see many of those–still, in 2023. And I love that Michelle Yeoh frankly addresses this. Plus the fact that older women don’t get to be the superheroes in movies. A role like hers would normally be given to a man. She said why was it that male action heroes could continue to do movies into their sixties and seventies, but she couldn’t?
Another interesting tidbit was the the Daniels had the character named Michelle because they (I think Daniel Kwan in this case) wrote it for her. She insisted to change the name beacuse she knew if the character was called Michelle, everyone watching would think of it as Michelle playing Michelle. She said that Evelyn deserved to have her own identity. I love that she was so fiercely protective of Evelyn, and she was right. Had the character been called Michelle, everyone would have thought of it as Michelle playing Michelle.
I loved this movie wholeheartedly. Despite its flaws. despite my issues with it. Maybe because of my issues with it, I fell in love in the first five minutes and never looked back.
I’m done for now. I will write more tomorrow.