Yesterday, I had my first post on Everything Everywhere All At Once–which I finally saw on Christmas night. In the last post, I mentioned that I did not like movies in general. Plus, Amazon makes it so fucking hard to rent a movie that I pushed it off for months.
But. I made a commitment to Ian to watch it by Christmas Day. And true to my nature, I waited until that night before watching it.
I was skeptical, but hopeful. Within ten minutes, I was sobbing. You see, I went in knowing very little about the movie And, yes, there will be spoilers throughout this review. Continue at your own risk.
I knew there was universe jumping and that Michelle Yeoh was the lead. That was all I knew, and I was prepared for it to be heart-pounding and thrilling. It was that, sure. It was also funny as hell in places (and, yes, we will talk about THAT scene–probably in another post), but what I did not expect was to be sobbing ten minutes into the movie.
Not just little tears, either, but ugly sobbing. It was when Joy was getting into the car to leave with Becky (in a huff), and Evelyn calls out for her to wait. Joy stops. And I can tell by the set of her shoulders that she is bracing herself. She is hoping for something positive, but she knows in her heart that it’s most likely going to be critical.
“You need to eat better,” Evelyn snaps. “You’re getting fat.”
Joy’s shoulders sag. And I burst into tears as Joy gets into the car and drives away. Because I could see the resignation and the pain in her face. I could feel the hurt and anger she was feeling. I knew what she was experiencing, and it was devastating.
I get the feeling that the Daniels put in this as a way to say that Evelyn could not talk about her feelings and that this was her way of showing love. It’s cultural, I can hear them say. I know that. I am from that culture. I visited Taiwan when I was ten or so, and no one had any problems telling me how fat I was (my relatives).
Here’s the thing. I would not say it’s a way of showing love. It’s just not a taboo. But. Here’s the added twist. If you’re a girl/woman/AFAB, then it’s definitely a negative. You should be able to be blown away by a slight breeze otherwise you will never get a husband.
So, the fact that a mother is saying it to her daughter (who isn’t fat, by the way. Not that it matters, but she just isn’t) makes it even crueler. Women are often the ones who ensure that the sexist beliefs of a society are passed on to their daughters.
(Restrains self with much diffuclty from giving a diatribe and internalized sexism and when doing it out of love is arguably worse than doing it out of hate.)
This is necessary, maybe, but it’s not a good thing. And in the case of immigrants, it’s even more messed up and complicated. America has its own version of sexism and fatphobia, especially against women, but none of that is touched on. I wouldn’t expect the Daniels to realize this and in addition, they were very much ‘love conquers all’ in their messaging. Which I’ll get to later, but that ignores the fact that love does not, indeed, conquer all. And that people often do things that aren’t from a loving place.Even in other cultures.
My mother put me on my first diet when I was seven. She watched me like a hawk (but at the same time, made me clean my plate because of starving kids in Africa), and she made it her mantra that I was a pice of grotesque shit because I was fat.
That was cultural, yes, but that did not make it good or right. There are things in every culture that are terrible, and this is one of them.
I can say that because I’m from that culture and I was terribly harmed by it. I had anorexia twice and once it was coupled with bulimia, and it started with my mother’s harmful attitude. I had to put my foot down when I was in my thirties that she could not mention my weight. At all. Not even under the see-through guise of ‘health’. She pushed back, but I held firm. I had had enough of her bullshit.
So, yeah. I sobbed at the queer tatted ‘fat’ Asian daughter (Chinese in this instance) driving away from the mother who constantly hurt her, being destroyed in the process.
I did not expect that from this movie. I did not expect to be broken by the sag of the shoulders. in that moment, I was firmly on board with the movie, and it could do anything it wanted with me.
I love Michelle Yeoh with all my heart. I have since she was Michelle Kwan and did Hong Kong martial arts movies. I also love current Jamie Lee Curtis and her “I don’t give a fuck” attitude. I knew going in that the two of them would be wonderful.
I did not expect Stephanie Hsu.
See, Ian told me that I should not read up on the movie at all before watching it. He said that I should go in knowing as little as possible. I had seen the trailer when it came out, of course, but I did not remember much beyond universe jumping.
So when the family stuff came out, it hit me hard. And while I was sympathetic to Evelyn (Michelle Yeoh) because she had to work so hard and her father disowned her when she ran off to marry her husband. Family dysfunction is generational and the trauma keeps giving if it’s not addressed.
Stephanie Hsu is the heart of this movie as Joy (Evelyn’s daughter) and Jobu Tupaki (villain). Without her, the movie would fall into itself. There is a lot thrown into this movie (like an everything bagel), and she has to bring it all together. The other characters have different versions in different worlds, but they are not like the stark difference between Joy and Jobu.
Joy was me when I was her age. She dropped out of college, which I did not do, but I did not want to be in college. I felt I had to go because my mother made it seem like I had no choice.
In the video I posted, Stephanie Hsu talked about intergenerational trauma and intergenerational healing. I feel that in my heart–at least the former part. She also said that she’s had people come up to her and just burst into tears. I hate to say it, but that would probably be me. Not full-on crying, but at least teary-eyed.
This was the biggest surprise about the movie–how emotional it was. Quite honestly, while I loved the whole movie and the outlandish shenanigans, the outrageous costumes, and the jumping of the universes. I love that the main actors get to chew up various different sceneries in various diffreent worlds.
Jamie Lee Curtis is phenomenal in the movie–but Stephanie Hsu should have won the Oscar. At least she got the SAG award.