I love the internet in general. I spend a lot of time on it, and I find so much value in it. THat being said, there are downsides as there are to everything. One thing is how it’s easy for someone’s opinions to harden because of the echo chambers on line. And things that started out with genuine good purposes can become meaningless.
One of those is, “Check your privilege.” In the beginning, it was used to point out to people that the way they lived/thought was not the same for everyone. As a recent example, working from home and the pandemic. The assumption that eveyrone could work from home during the pandemic was very white collar-specific, and those in blue collar/retail jobs rightly pointed out how frustrating it was.
So, yes. It’s good to examine your own privilge when you’re talking to other people. But, at some point, it became a snap response to anyone offering a solution the first person did not agree with. I mentioned the boob post at AAM in which a few people talked about that it was a privilege to quit a job that imposed rules upon you with which you did not agree.
To which I and others said, “Well, yes. And?” The point being, saying something is a privilege doesn’t really add to a conversation in and of itself. I find it frustrating for many reasons. One, we all have privilge to some degree. If you’re commenting on AAM, you’re probably privileged. The demos skew to highly-paid white women, and it’s not even close. If they live in America and/or the UK< they’re privileged. Have a car? Privileged.
In addition, offering a solution that not everyone can do–well, that’s every solution. There is no one solution that is palatable/available to everyone, so it’s not practical to say don’t offer a solution that not everyone can do.
Also, what’s the point of having privilege if you don’t use it to benefit others? I pointed out that if someone with privilege can afford to quit over a ridiculous dress code, then that’s for the ultimate good. I noticed it in another post that someone who quit over a truly ridiculous COVID policy, many in the commentariat were eager to say that she was overreacting, even when she explained why she quit rather than do as ordered.
It was sad to see the extent to which so many people bought into the corporate mentality. She had to deal with them for hours while she had COVID because they would not delay it. People were like, “No way they would make you do it at the time.” Well, yes, they did. Other people were telling the OP that she should make her workplace fire her. Yes, because that was not stressful at all.
It’s weird to me how quickly people are to be like crabs in a bucket, pulling others back down. It’s one thing to point out that not everyone can afford to quit on the spot (which is very true); it’s another just to be dismissive of it as a privilege.
Almost everything is a privilge on some level. Being able to travel? Privilige. Shopping at Trader Joe’s? Privilege. A year ago, I bought a new desktop in order to play Elden Ring. I needed a new PC, anyway, but if I hadn’t needed it for that specific purprose, I probably would have gone cheaper. But, having died recently (twice!) gave me a different perspective. I could afford to spend several hundred more dollars on a desktop than I normally would spend, so why shouldn’t I?
Is it a privilege? Oh, hell,yes. A huge one. Does that mean I shouldn’t do it? Nope. One thing I realized in checking my privilege is, will this be harmful to others if I do this thing? I love snow. Many years ago, any time I posted something about this on FB, I had an ex-friend who would inevitable say something like, “Well, you don’t have to shovel it, so you can afford to like it.” It was really annoying because whether she meant it this way or not, her implication was that I did not have the right to like it because I did not shovel it.
So now, I take pains to make sure I acknowledge that I don’t have to shovel it, but really, does that mean I can’t enjoy it? I don’t think it should. She liked LotR movies. I could have pointed out that there are no people of color in it so she shouldn’t enjoy them. Or that her going to Japan for a week was a huge privilige, which she did not note when posting pictures from her trip.
This is my main point. People love to point out other people’s privilege, but not their own. There was a woman I knew on Twitter who would loudly call out racism against black people (she was white), classism, and sexism. Which, fine. You do you. But when someone pointed out that she was being ableist by calling people idiots, stupid, and dumb, she exploded. How DARE someone say that she was ableist! Did they not see how much a social justice warrior she was?????
I will admit that I am not always a good person, and I snickered loudly as I read her indignation–and her hypocrisy. It was fine for her to call out other people, but the second someone did it to her, it was an outrage!
But that’s human nature, of course. It’s always easier to see someone else’s flaw than your own. Even people who talk about how terrible they are usually bristle if others agree with them. In fact, that’s their way of deflecting criticism. I used to do it myself. Again, this is human nature. No one wants to think they are wrong or bad. But how eager someone is to point out other people’s flaws while ignoring or minimizing their own is something I note.
To be clear, I don’t have a problem with having my flaws pointed out. Well, yes, I do, but not to the point of dernying they exist. It’s the hypocrisy and when the pointing out is used to shut down all conversation. That’s when I get irritated and my own nasty side comes out. I’m not proud of it, but at least I can recognize it and try to mitigate it. It doesn’t always work, but it does help to keep my irritation in check.
I wish more people were introspective and aware of their own flaws, but I know that’s a big ask.