I’m mad that libertarian has been coopted to mean narcissistic asshole who doesn’t give a shit about his (and it’s definitely a ‘his’) fellow man. I used to say I was liberttarian in my ideals, but I never wanted to be associated with the term itself. Now, however, I stay as far away from the word as possible. Too many assholes have warped it into something other than letting people be themselvves as long as no one is hurting anyone else (deliberately and with malicious intent. As defined by me).
I’m grumpy. Why? Because I was reading a thread about professional norms and one of the ways it devolved was someone proudly declaring that they were a coffee snob. Coffee was only to be drank (drunk?) black, damn it. End of. Like, she wrote that with her full chest. She’s not the only one, by the way. I’ve read and heard that so many times.
Same with tea. Those funny Brits who like to think they invented tea stand by putting milk in their tea. Which, fine! If you want to drink tea with milk, go for it. Asian people have milk tea, too, but it’s a specialty and not for daily dinking. Well, at least before Taiwanese people invented boba tea, which is now everywhere.
Apparently, if you dare try to order tea without milk in Britain, you will be exiled with prejudice. Never mind that the people they stole tea from did not drink it taht way. Again, I have no issue with people drinking their tea that way–until they say it’s the only way/the proper way to drink tea. Then I have to laugh in their face as a person of Asian descent. Oh, and as someone who is lactose intolerant, no thank you very much.
But, wow, do people have so many opinions about how food should be eaten, what music is good or bad, how video games should be played, and so much more. I’m particularly irked about food, though, because I have struggled all my life with food and eating. It’s hard not to as a human being. I was going to say in American society, but it’s not limited to America. It’s just a different flavor of toxic negativity than it may be in other countries.
I mean honestly, who. the. fuck. cares? If you’re not the one eating it, then keep your eyes on your own plate.
I really can’t get why people are so–yes, I can. It’s a way to sort people as in or out as are so many of our other societal norms. Like choosing a sports team or something like that. For a ot of people, being in the in-group is a comfort. Or at the very least, having hard and clear rules. It’s comforting, I guess.
For me, I find rules and laws to be restrictive and almost punitive if there is not a good reason for them. Like, I can get with not driving forward on red because that’s a safety issue. Not stealing other people’s shit? Yeah, that makes sense to me, too.
But. having to wear a bra? Nope. If everything is covered up, who cares? In general, I think dress codes are ridiculous. Oh, and the coffee thing from above was brought up in a question about why is it frowned upon to bring iced coffee to an interview. Alison (Ask A Manager) said it was not really defensible, but it was a societal norm.
The amount of people in the comments who were so indignant that anyone would even THINK to bring an iced coffee to an interview was depressing–but fascinating. I mean, I was expecting it to be mosttly on the side of not doing it, but the fervor with which the people kept that particular gate was eye opening.
You got the slippery slope argument (“what if someone wanted to come in drinking alcohol?!), the “it looks too casual” argument (as if everyone didn’t drink coffee at work), and a whole bunch of other arguments. There were a few people on the side of the angels (you can tell what my bias is), but the vast majority were appalled because this was Just Not Done.
I honestly don’t get it. I mean, the noise from the ice and the condesation, ok. I can get that. But not the idea that it’s too casual or shows that theinterviewee isn’t serious about the interview. That’s what I can’t wrap my brain around.
Basically, I think if something isn’t hurting someone, then let them be. I know that’s a radical statement these days, but it’s what I truly believe in my heart. Ian once commented that I wsa an anarchist. It took me aback, but after thinking about it, he wasn’t wrong. I don’t believe in hierarchies just for the sake of hierarchies. I don’t believe in tradition–well, let me put it this way.
One time, my mother relayed something to me that she thought was sweet and I thought was not so sweet. She said to me somewhat defensively, “Just because it’s tradition, it doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing.” Without missing a beat, I responded, “Just because it’s tradition, it doesn’t mean it’s a good thing, either.”
I stand by that. Tradition often covers up inequalities and atrocities, and I’m not being the least bit (well, maybe a tiny bit) hyperbolic. I don’t believe in doing something just because it’s been done for a hundred or more years. Like getting married and having babies. I assumed since I was a kid taht I would do both because that’s what I was raised to believe. I was also raised a fundie evangelical Christian, and I was repeatedly told I would go to hell if I had sex before marriage.
Once I realized that ‘sex before marriage is the worst thing you could do’ was a huge lie, Christianity shattered into a million pieces for me. Then, the idea that I had to have children went by the wayside. Followed by marriage. See, once you start questioning tradition, it’s hard to stop. At least it was for me. This was when I was in my twenties.
I also realized I was attracted to women as well as men (the only two genders acknowledged at the time) when I was in my early twenties. Hell, a lot of things happened in my twenties that led me to say, “Fuck it!” And I was never the same. Oh, the bra thing? I shed my bra during the pandemic, and I never went back again. My nipples are covered. That’s all that should matter. And my tits have never been happier.
I’m not hurting anyone with any of these decisions, so I don’t understand why it should matter to anyone but me.