So. I’ve been big into D&D lately–trying to find good groups to watch. It started with the Oxventure crew with Johnny Chiodini as their DM, and it’s expanded since then. I have at least two issues with this, and I’ll start with the more general problem and then go to the more specific one.
There are not enough women of color in these groups. And there are definitely not enough women DM’ing.
Side Note: This is a problem in general with gaming, but especially in the UK. They are really good with having women on their teams, but people of color, especially women? Not so much. It’s really annoying and discouraging because I prefer their style in general, but it’s started to bug me more and more.
I found one group that is all women and more than one woman of color, but unfortunately, I could not gel with the group. The DMs are also players, which made it very confusing, and one of the other women played a lecherous man who was really fucking annoying. Like, I wanted to punch him (the character) in the face annoying. So I fell off that pretty quickly. I gave it another shot, but I just couldn’t with the asshole character.
Which leads me to my problem with the D&D groups in general. I tried to watch the Dicebreaker one, but I absolutely loathed one of the characters. It didn’t help that I don’t care for the person in general, but his character is such a relenting asshole and a big bully. The way he was browbeating a woman (NPC) was really uncomfortable to me, and even though it also has one of the most adorable characters ever (Tim the Gobbo), I won’t be watching again. Not only because of this one character, but because of how the group treated the ‘animals’ (dinosaurs) in the two episodes. Especially the character I hate.
This actually ties into my issues with the Oxventure group, which I’ve started to dread more and more. Why? Because they seem to take more and more glee in being cruel to animals. Merilwen is an elf druid who specifically loves the animals. The others have treated it as a pain in their collective behinds since the beginning, but it was ok because it seemed like an inside joke. In the last four or five adventures, however, it seems much more malicious. Like they take glee in it. And while they’re always ribbing each other, it seems meaner than the way they treat the other members.
In the last adventure, Merilwen’s beloved (and passed) wild cat friend, Simon, showed up again as a hat on a hunter who used dark magic to make the animals go to him rather than have to go collect them. It was really disturbing, and while it was awesome to see Merilwen get scary mad, it really turned me off. In the comments, several people issued similar sentiments. One person even asked if Ellen (the person) had pissed off Johnny (the DM). Someone else noted that in the year, Dob found his sister; Corazon got some closure with his father and got the family mansion; Prudence got Frisky and The Darkness, pet grimoires; and Eggbert got a measure of atonement. Granted, he also lost a kidney, but still. What did Merilwen get? Her dearest friend being disrespected in such a horribly cruel way.
It’s getting to be so that there seems to have to be some animal being horribly mistreated per adventure, and it’s really bumming me out. I’ve been rewatching the episodes, and I’ve had to fast-forward in some places.
There’s a part of me that says, “Minna, you’re just being too sensitive.” And, I probably am because I have been intensely sensitive to negative emotions all my life. And, in this same series, I don’t have issues with the combat which can be pretty horrific, but most of that is with fantastical creatures. When humans are involved, especially orphans, it’s not as easy for me to shrug it off.
Side Note II: This is one reason I don’t like movies and TV. My brain can’t always distinguish reality from fiction, and the results have been less than pleasant, shall we say. I remember my bestie taking me to see Girl, Interrupted after I got dumped. There was two scenes in it that I will never forget. One is when Angelina Jolie totally emotionally devastates Brittany Murphy so that the latter will give her money. The next scene is Brittany Murphy hanging from the bathroom shower curtain rod. The former scene just cut me to the core because it hit way too close to home. The latter became a still image that haunted my dreams for years to come. Yes, I had literal nightmares about it. Books don’t affect me in the same way for the most part, but anything with a visual/audio can disproportionately disturb me.
I want to try D&D, but I’m not sure for several reasons. One, I would not deal well with being incessantly bullied in a session, even if it was in character. The whole time I was watching the Dicebreaker episodes, I was muttering, “Someone punch him in the face” about the character I hated. Also, “I hope he dies soon.” There is no way I can watch any more of this show without having an aneurysm, which is too bad.
Two, if there was any kind of lechery, I would be out. Any question of sexual assault, and I would literally flip a table. I have read of situations like this, and I would not react well. I would either burst into tears or cuss the hell out of the player.
Three, I want to be a Tiefling Warlock. Don’t @ me. I know it’s basic, but I don’t care. I definitely want to a be a Tiefling, but I’m willing to explore other class possibilities. There’s a Tiefling War Jester in one of the shows and a Tiefling…Cleric! Yes, a Tiefling Cleric in another. Something about a Tiefling Warlock really calls to me, and that’s what I rolled the one time I actually rolled a character. I know it was a Tiefling, but I don’t remember the class.
Honestly, I want to be a DM. I think it would be amazing, but I’m not sure how to get into it. There are plenty of videos about it, but it’s still very much a dude thing. I think I would be the happiest creating the world and populating it with quirky characters.
I just know it’s a character…trait that I have. Not sure it’s an issue or not, but it’s a trait. I like something for a reason, but then get impatient when it doesn’t change. That’s why I go from site to site after a few years. I did it with political sites and now I don’t visit any of them. That’s how I feel about YouTube channels. I’ve mentioned the Try Guys from whom I’ve finally unsubscribed. They went off the rails when they went solo, and it was really uncomfortable to watch. My biggest gripe is that they increased the dick joke contents in situations where other people work. The one that sticks out in my mind is when they went to a coffee shop in Australia to learn how to make coffee. Keith kept saying he was going to draw dicks in the latte foam. Over and over again. While the actual worker stood by smiling uncomfortably. That was the point where I was like, “Fuck no.” It only got worse from then on, and I unsubscribed as a Patreon after another episode in Australia where Keith was screaming at an animal to come over to him. It really distressed me, and, yes, the theme is that Keith did something to piss me off. I’m at eating crackers stage with him right now, and it’s much better now that I can choose which I’ll watch rather than grimly watching them all because I feel obligated as a Patreon. I’ll support Eugene if he ever decides to go solo.
I’ve seen this with RKG as well. I like them 90% of the time, but the other 10% is really gross. There are certain moments in videos through which I have to fast-forward and other videos I won’t rewatch at all. I’m starting to wonder what the acceptable ratio of excellent to very off-putting is. Let me hasten to say it’s not just off-colored jokes, but truly disgusting ones. That many people in the community find hilarious.
Which brings me original musings. Am I being too sensitive? Honestly, I think that’s besides the point. It doesn’t matter if I’m being ‘too’ sensitive or just enough sensitive because ultimately, it’s my money/my time. It’s up to me to decide when enough is enough, and I should not beat myself up about it.