All right, folks. I have a holiday (election) poem for you. Strap it up. We’re doing this!
A Visit from President Obama
Twas the night before elections, and all through the house,
Everyone was panicking, causing me to grouse;
I had my laptop on my lap, typing with speed,
Hoping that America wouldn’t be consumed with greed;
I will offer links to help Minnesotans with voting;
Then sit, whimpering in a corner, overcome with not knowing;
My eyes are so heavy, and I’d really like to sleep,
But reading about the election is making me weep,
Suddenly, on the internet, there arose such a clatter,
I had to check Twitter to see what was the matter.
Away to my tabs, I raced with trepidation,
To see what had agitated the entire Twitter nation.
Ann Coulter, desperate to be relevant, opened her yap,
Spouting her usual hateful rhetoric and claptrap,
When what to my wondering eyes did I see done,
But President Obama stepping off Air Force One,
With Michelle by his side and a radiant smile,
He invited me to stay awhile (and listen). Continue Reading
The first debate was tonight, and I made myself ghost on social media as it was happening because I just. don’t. care. Mind you, it’s not that I don’t care about the election or the fact that the Orange Cheeto might be president, something that continues to bamboozle my little brain, but I’m tired of all the angst, and I’m tired of how fucking long this has been going on. We should be like France and only allow the official election to last for a few weeks and ads are free. Our election has been going on for over a year, and we still have a month and a half to go. I’ve cut way back on politics since the last election, and I’m glad I made that decision. Any time I listen to Trump, my brain becomes discombobulated trying to translate what he’s saying. Yes, I know he’s nominally speaking English, but the way he orders his words makes no sense to me. I cannot believe that he’s one of the two people in the running to be the leader of our country. I also can’t believe that there are people who want someone with no political experience at all to be our fucking president. I know that there are problems with having lifelong politicians, but I don’t think the answer is vote for someone who doesn’t have ANY experience.
In addition, it didn’t seem like there was any way for Clinton to win this debate. She would be considered too shrill, too cold, too condescending, too WHAT THE FUCK EVER. Have you SEEN her opponent? He’s lucky if he can walk and tie his shoes at the same time. He can’t speak in complete, coherent sentences, and the only person he loves is himself. He has no policies of which to speak, and he–oh, hell. If I were to list all the reasons he’s not fit to be president, I would have to type until my fingers fall off. Suffice to say, he’s emblematic of everything that is wrong with America. Loud, bombastic, know-nothing, jingoistic, ugly American. I’m not saying that’s all America is, but there is a sizable portion of our country that is like that. Waving foam fingers in the air as they chant, “We’re number one! We’re number one!” When in reality, we’re not number one in much of anything, except maybe consumerism. Don’t take this as me hating America; I don’t. I don’t love it, either, but that’s a post for another day. I just hate how some Americans think we’re better than everyone else, especially when we’re lagging behind in many quality of life measurements.
On social media, I posted that I wanted Clinton to come out to this song: