Back when the country was debating marriage equality (called same-sex marriageat the time), there was a meta-debate raging about the ‘tone’ of queers as we argued for our basic civil rights. And, yes, I am framing it in a deliberate way beacause I rail against the notion of neutrality when it comes to the issue. I remember Matt Birk, ex-Vikings (maybe current at the time) center bleating about how we can be cvil as we disagree.
So many of the anti-equality people wanted to control the WAY we debated the issue along with debating the issue itself because it behooved them to strip out anything emotional from the discussion.
The ywanted to make it simply about two differing points of views. Both equally valid, reasonable minds agreeing to disagree, etc., etc., etc. ‘Civil’ was repeated over and over and over yet again.
“We can disagree without being disagreeable” was another saying I heard way too many times.
I’ was reminded of this because on NPR, they were touting a town meeting with four diverse thiners as a way to come together as a society. ‘HELL NO!’ is what I said out loud in my car. Because I don’t want distasteful ideas such as white supremacy, monitoring the genitalia of trans kids, and a federal ban on abortionto be made palatable. I’m pretty sure that’s not what the NPR tow hall had in mind, but it was what I immediately thought of.
See, in order to have this kind of discussion, you have to have some ground rules. As someone who is a minority in so many ways, I’ve lost count, my first would be my civil rights as an American on several levels. As a queer person. As an agender person. As someone who could still theoretically have a child but most emphatically does not want one. As an areligious person.
My ground rules would be that a person’s gender identity is not up for debate–nor is their sexual identity. I was listening to the radio in the car the other day, and the co-hosts were going on and on and about the ‘alphabet soup’ that is queer identity. They were begrudgingly accepting of gays, but started pooh-poohing trans and everything else. “The founding fathers got their ideas from church!” one of them declared. Which…was an interesting interpretation.