Underneath my yellow skin

Tag Archives: hatred

Me and double empathy, part three

I have more to say about bias, the double empathy problem, and whatever else happens to be on my mind. In yesterday’s post, I talked about how I have no heart because there is so much hatred in this country right now.

In the Discord I’m in, we were arguing about politics. Well, not politics themselves, exactly, but whether or not America is hopeless. There were those who said though things were bleak right now, there was a brighter day coming. I, on the other hand, was just done. I did not come back from the dead (twice) for this bullshit!

Someone in the Discord was saying that to believe it was hopeless meant ‘they’ won. I knew what they were saying, but at this point, I just couldn’t care. I have been a Democrat since I was old enough to realize what the parties stood for. I was a Democrat by default because I loathed them a little less than I did the Republicans.

Yes, you understand that correctly. I have never been an enthusiastic Democrat because there is just so much wrong with the party. I’m not going to enumerate their faults and flaws here, but suffice to say if I could have found any other party to vote for, I would have. Any other party would have done (except the Republicans, obviously), but that would have been a folly in a two-party system.

I’m also not going to rant about that because I’m not in the mood, but I will say that I have never voted  Republican, and I most certainly will not now. When I was on the dating apps (back in the Stone Ages), I had a bio that said I didn’t care about gender, color, religion, or anything except that I would not date a Republican. This was thirty-some years ago, and I feel it even more now. You cannot be a part of the Republican party right now and not have hate in your heart.

Do I have hope? Honestly, I don’t think that’s a revelant question for me. Hope doesn’t pay the bills, and it doesn’t help people in any tangible way. In fact, I would say unreasonable hope is wores than no hope at all. I get it. You don’t want to take all hope away from people, but I don’t want to hope for something that isn’t going to happen.

There is a very thin line between being hopeful and toxic positivity. America is heavily into the latter, and it’s working my last nerve right now. I do know that people have to have some sliver of hope, but things really are dire right now. And I know we have to keep fighting, but it’s so hard. Where is the good news? Where is that spark of things can get better? There is none. I have a hard time even checking the news on the daily because it’s unrelenting grim news.


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Forever a freak

I am going to talk about two seemingly disaparate things that are actually related. I was just messaging with K about the hate-fest that was happening in Philly. The Prejudiced Moms Who Want to Outlaw Minorities conference that I refuse to give its proper name. She was telling me that it has been dubbed Klanned Karenhood, which is chef’s kiss perfection. She and I have talked about how the original meaning of being a Karen has been diluted to basically a strong woman speaking up at all, but this usage of it truly adheres to the original meaning (white woman coming down hard on minorities, particularly black people).

I was saying to K that I while I understand on a superficial level that they are threatened by anything that is different from them, I don’t get it on a gut level. I don’t find much validation in the world, but I’ve never really cared about it. Once I realized that I was a weirdo and was most emphatically not like other people, I was fine with it. Sure, sometimes, it gets me down, but most of the time, I just shrug my shoulders and move on. I don’t care because I’m not going to change. I wrote about this yesterday in the area of gatekeeping. I have fully embraced that I have ‘terrible taste’, and I take glee in agreeing with people about it.

But, today I want to talk about it more in the terms of identity issues and sensory issues. I mentioned the former above, and the latter is like this. On Ask A Manager in the weekend thread, there is a question about what to provide for guests who are staying for a few days. There was another thread about this a few months ago. And I metaphorically ran screaming from the room at several of the suggestions.

The ones that were great: Provide towels, extra sheets, and period products. Extra lamp, amenities, etc. All of that is great. But, as someone with so many sensory issues and allergies, it is also fraught with potentional problems. I can’t stand any scented products. Most products are scented. I am also allergic to feathers, so no feathered pillows for me. I can’t use scented shampoo or conditioner–and certainly not soap.

No Febreeze for god’s sake. I’m imploring you. That stuff is so nasty. I used it once after my late cat, Raven, sprayed on a wall. I tried to find the most innocuous scent and chose somtehing like Clouds & Rain because that sounded as close to natural as possible. It was so bad, I had to open up all the windows and the sliding glass door to the patio because I was gagging and choking on the fumes. And I only sprayed once! I would rather smell cat piss than Febreeze, and that’s saying something.


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One Nation Under Trump

dump trump!
Would-be king, Trump

I am terrified of a President Trump.

I am not being hyperbolic. I was not terrified of a President McCain or a President Romney, though I thought both were terrible choices at the time, of course. President Palin? Yes, I was scared at the thought of her kicking McCain down the stairs and claiming his presidency, but that now seems tame in comparison to the idea of President Trump. I thought Sarah Palin was the nadir of what the GOP had to offer America. Oh, how naive I was back then. I’m not saying she’s any more acceptable as president now than she was then, but Trump has lowered the bar to the point where I’m almost longing for W. Almost.

Trump is not qualified to be president. He hasn’t been an elected official of any sort, and while I know it’s in vogue to scoff at career politicians, I want my president to have SOME prior political experience. Would I go to a surgeon who had never done an operation before? Fuck no! Then why the hell would I want a president who doesn’t know how many articles the Constitution has? I didn’t know, either, but I’m not running for fucking president. I want my president to know what the job actually entails. I don’t want my president to be sitting on Twitter, responding to every comment tweeted his way. He calls Clinton ‘Crooked Hillary’ and Elizabeth Warren ‘Goofy Elizabeth Warren’ as if he’s an eight-year old boy. He admires Vladimir Putin and says, “If he says great things about me, I’m going to say great things about him.” This clearly shows how narcissistic Trump is and how easy it would be to manipulate him. For all his flaws, Putin is not a stupid man. I have no doubt that he would be able to make Trump do whatever he (Putin) wanted him  simply by buttering up his ego.
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