I don’t have misophonia, thankfully. From what I’ve heard, it’s excruciating. Briefly, it’s having a ‘flight or fight (mostly fight’ reaction to noises, especially eating. I do have noise sensitivities, but that isn’t the same as misophonia. I don’t get angry at the noises that bother me, except for ASMR.
Oh. My. Fucking. God. Just thinking about ASMR makes me rage. When I’ve tried to listen to ASMR, I’ve wanted to punch my laptop. I could not shut it down quick enough, and I grit my teeth at the mere mention of ASMR. Joke ASMR does not affect me in the same way, which is interesting. What I mean by joke ASMR, I mean people just lowering their voice to a whisper and saying they’re doing ASMR or eating by a mike. Neither of these bother me. But the actual ASMR? I seriously want to punch someone. Which makes me more sympathetic to people with misophonia.
I said I don’t have it, but I do have sound sensitivities. I need to be in strict control of how loud anything is around me. It was difficult when my parents were here because my father is nearly deaf without his hearing aids, and he refuses to wear them on the regular. Therefore, when he was watching videos, the sound was excruciatingly loud–even though he wasn’t in the same room.
That’s the thing. It’s not so much that it makes me angry (though it odes); it’s that it’s pure agony to me. It physically hurts my ears and brain in a way that makes it impossible for me to think. One time, K, another friend, and I went to a restaurant in which the music was so loud, I had to leave. It was agony, which she didn’t get, but she obliged me. There was no way I could have sat through dinner in that place.
This is really hard to explain to people without seeming like I’m being precious. For most people, music being too loud is not physically uncomfortable. It just means they can’t hear other things around them. For me, it physically hurts to the point where I just want to curl up in a ball and stuff cotton in my ears. It reduces me to a whimpering mess, and it makes it impossible for me to think.