Underneath my yellow skin

Tag Archives: vaccination

The truth, the whole truth, and shades of the truth

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I have been thinking of truth-telling recently because of the coronavirus. I’ve talked in the past about how I want the truth, even if it was uncomfortable. I made sure to tell people how I reacted to the second jab because I had seen too many people blithely dismiss it as oh you might feel a bit achy and tired for a day or two, but that’s it! And, for many people, that was it. I’m not disputing that! It’s just that there are some of us where that isn’t true and we shouldn’t be made to feel that we can’t talk about it. And, no, I did not reveal my difficulties with the second shot to garner sympathy as was said to me on Twitter. (Still bitter about that, btw.) My motivation was to let people know that here’s something that can happen and to be prepared for it. I said then and I’ll reiterate now that because I knew it might happen, I was able to prep for it.

Side Note: The last time I got the flu shot, I had a very bad reaction. Like, three days exhausted, shivering, aching response. I don’t get the flu shot (but will from now on), but decided to do so that one year. This was several years ago and I can still remember how terrible I felt when I got it. A few years ago, my medical practitioner and I talked about the flu shot and I said I hadn’t gotten it because of the reaction I had gotten that one time. She snapped back that it was better than being dead. (Note to the side note: I really liked her and only stopped going to her because she took a job elsewhere.) Well, yes. This is true. But that didn’t mean it was a fun thing and we can acknowledge that.

If I hadn’t known that I could have a severe reaction to the jabs, I would NOT have been happy about the aftermath. By the way, I also had a more-than-usual reaction to the first jab, but that doesn’t even register because that’s par the course for me. I had a bump from the first shot that lasted until I got the second shot. That’s three weeks and one day. I also had swelling around the bump and tenderness for several days. I had tiredness for two or three days and that was it. Again, that was not noticeable for me because I always react to shots. I have to get my blood drawn once a year (used to be once a month) and I always have a big and visible bruise when I’m done. Doesn’t matter how easy it went (which, back in the day, varied wildly because I have terrible veins. These days, I tell them to use a butterfly needle in the back of my hand and it’s all good).


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Fearing the new and the After Times

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In a few days, I will be fully vaxxed. And I’m still feeling the effects from the second shot. This is not to discourage anyone from getting the shots. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. It’s just that I am the type who wants to have all the information available so I can make a good decision and prepare for it. Because I knew the second shot was worse than the first for many people and I had looked up the possible side effects, I was prepared. It helped that I knew I was someone who reacted badly to shots in general. I had a reaction to the first shot and I had a small achy bump on the jab site until I got my second shot three weeks and one day later.

I bought easy-to-eat foods before the second shot (ha! I first wrote boss), including gluten-free crackers and Kite Hill Cracked Black Pepper soft spreadable plant-based cheeze (no dairy). I was prepared to do nothing more than feed my cat and watch endless YouTube videos, which was pretty much what I did. It’s almost two weeks after the shot and I’m still tired as fuck. My arm is a little sore and I get body aches randomly, but I’d say I’m 75% better. So tired, though. So very tired.

Veering wildly, I’ve been watching Eurogamer’s Aoife Wilson play Resi VIII because I like her and I like Lady D, even though I am not a Resi fan. I don’t find horror games scary at all. I don’t know why that is. Actually, I don’t find horror movies that scary, either–especially the kind with jump scares. Psychological horror is different. But, the last Resi, eh. It was just body horror, which I don’t like at all. I will say that PT by Kojima was very tense, but that’s probably the closest I’ve gotten to scared while watching a game. I’m squeamish in that sense. But scary? No. I didn’t find Resi 7 scary at all. Then again, I didn’t play it. But I like the aesthetics of Resi VIII and the vampire ladies, of course. Oh, who the hell am I kidding? It’s all about Lady D. I just adore her in a large part because she’s a middle-aged woman who looks her age* and she’s not stereotypically hot.

I just went down the rabbit hole of reading the tweets from Maggie Robertson who voices and did the mo-cap for Lady D. She is definitely not what I expected (blond and cheerful) and I am here for it. She’s a delight and so appreciative of all the Lady D love. I want to be Lady D for Halloween or some other time when I can dress up. I have the boobs to do her justice and she just ticks off all my boxes. For cosplaying, I mean. I still find it funny that people are SO thirsty for her, but I’m glad. Anyway, I’m tired. This is all for now.


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My body is not a temple

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clyde wallace, the wolf-bear, introduces himself.
I’m a wolf! I’m a bear! I’m Clyde Wallace and I’m both.

In the weekend post at AAM, someone asked what you would wish for if you had three wishes. The twist was that the first wish had to be for yourself, the second had to be for everyone, and the third could be whatever. I thought it was an interesting question, so I thought about it a bit. The second one I waver between everyone not having to worry about the basic needs being met (housing, healthcare, etc.) and eradicating all isms. The reason I don’t make those the second and third wishes is because I want to make a good welfare to all animals wish as well. Oh, of course, there can be no wishing for more wishes.

The first was the most interesting because there were a ton of things I could have said–be a best-selling author, know all the taiji weapons forms, etc. Or be the best at FromSoft games in all the world. But the first thought I had and the one that stuck to me was good health, both mental and physical. That seems especially relevant now and I’m going with that one. My father ends every conversation with a pompous monologue about how health is the most important thing and as annoying as it is, he’s right. So much of my life has been shit because of my varying health issues. I would get rid of them in a heartbeat if it were possible.

Back to Cozy Grove by Spry Fox. The biggest tip I could give to a newcomer would be to take the game as it is. When I first started playing, I would get impatient because there was so much I couldn’t do at the moment. I didn’t like that the game would introduce things such as the brokenhearted imps without me being able to do anything about it (no cocoa beans). It stressed me out until I realized that there was no negative consequence to not being able to do something at the moment. I mean, I didn’t like it, but I was able to let it go.

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Nearly a week of feeling like shit (get vaxxed)

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Nearly a week since my second jab and…it’s not going well. I wrote about the first few days in this post and I want to expand on that in this post. Sunday sucked. Was really bad. Woke up Monday (yesterday) feeling as if I had been hit by a pickup truck which was better than being hit by a semi. Still was exhausted and taking it easy, but I was cautiously optimistic that I was on the mend. Then, last night (evening) hit me hard in the face. I was smacked with a “I have to shut my eyes now” exhaustion that I have not felt in a long time. Woke up around ten or so feeling wiped out and moped about for a bit before falling back asleep. Woke  up today completely wrecked.

It didn’t help that I ate a big heaping of asparagus last night and paid the price this morning. To be blunt, diarrhea every ten minutes for an hour. That’s what happens when I eat something that doesn’t agree with me, but it usually happens immediately after–not the next morning.

The heat in my arm had lessened greatly then came back with a vengeance last evening as well. Now, it has lessened again but it’s still got slight heat. Also swollen and sore. I’m not a happy camper. This is all not fun at all. Still worth it, obviously, but I wanted to be frank about my experience because people have been pooh-poohing the possibility of a bad reaction.

Knocked out by the second jab (get vaxxed, tho)

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Got the second Pfizer jab on Thursday (it’s Sunday as I’m writing this) and it’s been a trial. The first shot was like this. Day of shot, no reaction until around 11 p.m. Then, the injection site swelled up and my arm started aching. Next day, pure exhaustion plus the arm issues. Third day, less exhaustion, but still some and the arm stuff. Exhaustion lessened as did arm stuff each day. Still, my arm still had the bump and was sore to the touch by the time I went to get my second jab, three weeks and one day later. It wasn’t nearly as bad as I was expecting and except for the two days of exhaustion, more an inconvenience than anything else. Yes, the jab site was sore, but not enough to hinder me from my day-to-day activities. A week after the shot, it was only sore when I poked it (which was once every few days to see if it was still sore).

I went into the second shot cautiously optimistic. I was expecting a reaction, but based on the first shot, I was hopeful that it wouldn’t be too bad. The shot itself was no thing, much like the first one. I barely felt the needle go in (I have a high pain tolerance, though) and no immediate reaction. Well, a bit of sweating, but that could just be because I was hot. I get overheated easily and the temps have risen considerably in the last week. I waited my fifteen minutes then left, feeling as fit as a fiddle. Except the damn sweating.

Went through the day feeling fine. Then, at 11:30 p.m., just like last time, bam! My arm swelled up like a ballon and the jab site was hot to the touch. Very hot. My arm started aching and it was much more noticeable than the first time. Still, it wasn’t terrible. The next morning, I woke up not feeling great. I emailed my taiji teacher saying I was skipping class, but I was able to do my daily routine, more or less. I was dragging, to be sure, but that’s my normal life, anyway, and this was only a bit worse. I was optimistic that it wouldn’t be terrible.

Then, I crashed. Hard. Around five-ish at night, I was hit with pure exhaustion and fell asleep. I woke up around ten, chills coursing through my body. I don’t get cold so that was an indication that something was wrong. My arm was sore as fuck and I just wanted to sleep. I fell back asleep around two, then woke up at four. Fell back asleep around five and got up at eight-thirty in the morning. That really sucked, by the way. I hate stop-and-start sleep, which used to happen to me all the time. When I got up for good, I felt as if a semi truck had hit me, ran over me, and reversed before running over me again.


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Jab jab jab

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Wednesday was my 50th birthday. I decided to celebrate by getting my first (Pfizer) jab as a treat. I knew I was going to have a reaction to it because I am always sensitive to this kind of thing. Many people online were reporting no effects at all. In fact, some people were saying the side effects were overstated or that people were making too much out of them. That it was deterring people from getting the vax. That really annoyed me because it’s just a fact of life for me. I’m not trying to be dramatic, but that’s just the way my body works. I definitely want people to get the vax, but I’m not going to lie about my reaction.

Let me take you through what happened. I tried to make an appointment online. I was able to make an appointment for the first jab, but when I tried to set the second one, the website said there were no times available. Um, what? Why the hell would you allow me to make a first appointment if I weren’t able to make a second one? That didn’t make any sense at all. I tried to do it again a few days later, but the website wouldn’t allow it. Then, it told me to set my first appointment and the place I had made the appointment at before wasn’t listed. Did this mean I didn’t have any appointments at all? It seemed to be the case.

I took a deep breath and did something I hated doing–picked up the phone. I called and was able to set both appointments by phone. Look, I love doing things online and I think it’s the best way to get shit done when it works. When it doesn’t, however, then talking to an actual person is the way to cut through all the confusion. The person on the other end of the line was pleasant and happy to answer all my questions (and I had many. It’s my way of dealing with my anxiety). She got me signed up for both shots and made me feel comfortable in getting them. I decided to go for my birthday because it was the best day possible of the early batch of days and I didn’t want to wait until two weeks after that to get my first shot.

Here’s the thing about anxiety. It doesn’t discriminate between legit worries and not-so-legit ones. At least my anxiety doesn’t. I found that it’s best to answer the logistics ahead of time so I can tick that off my list. In this case, I haven’t been to the Roy Wilkins auditorium in decades so I Google Mapped it. I also asked my taiji teacher about her experience because she got her jabs at the same place. She told me there was free parking if you mentioned you were there for the vax. She told me how to get from the parking lot to the auditorium and made sure to note that it was well-marked. All of that was helpful in allaying my anxiety. Knowledge is power!


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