I was startled by some loud popping about ten minutes ago. Some VERY loud popping. I nearly jumped out of my skin, and for several seconds, I had no idea what the fuck was going on. Then, I remembered that it was the fourth of July tomorrow.
Sigh.
I can deal with fireworks on the actual day as long as it’s brief and at a decent time. It’s gone from fireworks on the day to fireworks the weekend of (or the few days surrounding the actual day) to more than a few days sometimes.
It’s so loud. SO loud. And sharp popping. I was not happy, and I know that poor animal friends will not be happy, either. Funnily enough, my scaredy cat, Shadow (who jumped at everything including his own, well, shadow) did not bat an eyelash when it came to fireworks or the vacuum–two things that most cats did not like. Raven, on the other hand, did not like either.
I’m in no mood to celebrate. I haven’t been for a long time, and–
Wait. I need to clarify something. I have never been a patriotic person. When I was a kid to when I was thirty, I was neutral to slightly negative as to how I felt about America. Then, when 9/11 happened, my opinion took a sharp nosedive. Not because of the event that happened, but because of what happened afterwards. Everyone put American flags outside their house, and so many people said if you didn’t, you were unpatriotic.
And the company line from the president and his acolytes didn’t inspire confidence in me, either. We all knew who was really in charge, and I knew he had a hunger for power–no matter what. it seems kind of quaint now, but also sad that I considered W and his VP to be the pinnacle of corruption and the worst thing to happen to the country.
I was so naive back then, thinking that was the worst it could get. Then again, how could I know how utterly batshitcrazy my country would get just because we had the temerity to elect a black man as the president. We are still paying for that in so many ways.
When I think of the trajectory of the country from 2016 until now, I just want to close my eyes and cry. That wouldn’t be wise or advised, but that’s how I feel. When I think about all the steps we could have taken to avoid this, and when I think of how many men weren’t willing to have a female president–let’s just say that I have very dark thoughts in my head.
I find myself saying often, “I did not come back from the dead (twice!)”, and it’s really distressing. It’s not even the fact that this president is so mean and spiteful, and he (and his acolytes) are doing so many vicious and vindictive things. I mean, that’s a large part of it, but it’s not the only thing that is bothering me these days.
I’ll be honest with you. I’m not feeling sanguine towards many of my fellow Americans. I have heard ad nauseam how ‘both sides’ have to come together. Pardon me for saying it, but fuck that shit. I have been hearing for decades that Democrats have to give in no matter what is happening. When Obama won the presidency, so many talking heads mentioned that he had to reach out to the Republicans and make nice. He had to assure the Republican voters that he cared about them. I’m paraphrasing, but that was the basic gist.
When a Republican is elected president, you never ever hear anyone say he has to reach out to Democratic voters and ensure that they feel heard. It’s only when a Democratic wins that the murmurs of ‘ reach out to the other side’ are spoken. It’s because the media is owned by Republicans, quite honestly. That’s all there is to it.
When Obama won for the first time, Dems controlled all three houses. It was a resounding win, and yet, there was still talk about how the Democrats had to compromise. And, fuck them, they did. It’s one of my least-favorite things about the Dems, truth to be told. I fucking hate how they give in all the time, oftentimes without even being pressured to do so. That’s how the Republicans were able to push through so much shit when they weren’t in control.
I’ve drawn the line in the sand. If someone voted for this president–we cannot be friends, especially if they still support him now. If they have seen the error of their ways and are now not supporters, well, I’ll at least consider talking to them.
If a person is on this president’s side at all, then I want nothing to do with them. During the occupation of Minneapolis, I read an interview with a small business owner who was also an immigrant. She talked about how horrible her life because of the occupation. She had lost so much business, she had to work on the side as a cleaner.
I was feeling really bad for her until she mentioned that she had voted for this president because of his anti-queer policies. The second she said that, i felt a fury well up inside of me. I still felt some compassion for her beacuse she was in a very shitty situation; however, I also felt rage at her for wanting to hurt me and my kin.
Also, she said she was worried for her (also) immigrant family, and I couldn’t stop myself from rolling my eyes. What the fuck did she think was going to happen? It’s not as if this president hasn’t made his disdain for immigrants exceedingly clear. that’s something that I don’t understand. This president, this time, hasn’t kept his evil thoughts to himself. He made it quite clear how he felt on several topics.
I think, though, it’s the age-old, “I’m one of the good ones; he doesn’t mean me” mentality at work. I’ve seen that all my life, but it never fails to surprise me. “Yes, I’m an immigrant, but it’s obviously that I’m here for good reasons AND I’m a hard worker. He couldn’t possibly mean me!” I can’t help but shake my head whenever I encounter this type–
I thought I ended this post and published it. Apparently, I did not, so I will now.