I used to say that I was tolerant* of everything but the intolerant, and I thought I was so clever at the time. I still feel the same way, but I don’t say it any longer because, as with so many things, too many people have twisted it into something unholy. When W. was president, the Republicans started taunting Democrats any time they spoke up against the W. regime. “I thought you were supposed to be the party of tolerance!” was their rallying cry, and it pissed me the fuck off every time, though I couldn’t quite articulate why. I’ve thought about it often throughout the next eight years because it’s the same thing they’d say when they’d encounter push back for any of their discriminatory beliefs. For example. When marriage equality was the hot topic across the land, conservatives would get butt-hurt because some queers would get in their faces when they spouted their hatred. “Why can’t you be civil as we have this disagreement?” was their unspoken (and sometimes, spoken) injured question. It’s disingenuous because this is not a bloodless disagreement in which neither side will suffer if the outcome doesn’t go their way. One side would have been harmed by the laws being passed, and it wasn’t the anti-marriage equality folks.
It’s about boundaries, you see. Everybody has their limit of what they can–and should–accept from other people, and it’s not intolerant to state your boundaries and to adhere to them. This is why I strongly believe that love SHOULD be conditional; otherwise, you become a doormat and anyone can walk all over you. But, back to tolerance and politics. For the last eight years, conservative have decried progress as being intolerant to their beliefs. The hope was that by going on the offensive, Democrats would back down. Sadly, that worked more times than I care to remember as Dems are frustratingly spineless when it comes to standing up to the opposition. I know we’re part of the big tent party, but there are limits to what we should accept in our party.
I will now freely say that I’m intolerant of a shitload of things. First, though, I want to reiterate that I’m tolerant of most lifestyle choices as long as they don’t hurt anyone. I have to be, given that I’m on the fridge of society on many issues. I’m a forty-five year old bisexual single Taiwanese American woman with no children who is not religious and does not work in an office. I don’t care about traditions for the most part except for the ones I create on my own. I don’t drink at all, which is another thing that makes me weird, and I don’t care for most of pop culture. I practice taiji, and I love weapons the most. Given all this, I have to tolerate people with different lifestyles out of self-preservation. If I were to disdain everyone not like me, I would just be sitting around my house staring at my walls. Granted, that’s what I mostly do, anyway, but it’d be even more intense if I decided I couldn’t stand anyone not like me.
That being said, there are things I won’t tolerate. I consider it progress that I can say that because it would have been verboten for me to say out loud twenty years ago. I was taught that my needs and opinions don’t matter, and it’s taken me decades to undo that mentality. I’m not fully there yet, but I’m much better at it now than I’ve ever been. I’m just going to say it plainly. It’s the mentality of an abuser to put down someone else when you’re being cruel to them. If you are punching someone in the face, you don’t have the right to get indignant when they defend themselves. It also displays an appalling lack of empathy for the person being abused. In the marriage equality example above, the homophobes viewed themselves as martyred, believing they were being attacked by the vicious queers. The queers were attacking their way of life, which justified their actions in their minds. I even heard that rationalization during arguments for constitutional amendments against queer marriage, which made my blood boil every time.
That’s how an abuser thinks. Anything done to protect oneself is an action against them, which they will not tolerate. So many of the Republican policies are rooted in fear and punishment. It’s very Christian at its roots, and I despair for our democracy with the upcoming president and congress. They are already showing their asses, and if it weren’t for the fact that so many people are going to suffer, I would find some horrid fascination in just how terrible they are. But, I can’t get past the fact that so many people are going to be hurt by this upcoming administration. That’s why I know I must speak out against all the shitty things that are going to happen in the next four** years. I refuse to repeat the bullshit that this is just politics as normal/that this is the reaction to politics as normal. This is hatred, pure and simple, no matter that it’s wrapped up in a nominally Christian ideology.
I’m not giving Trump a chance because he’s already shown me exactly who he is. I know some people are desperately hoping that all the shock and awe he spouted on the campaign trail was just to get elected and that he’ll really be more moderate as a president, but I don’t believe it based on his Cabinet picks. I will agree that it’s hard to know exactly what will happen because we’ve never had a president like this before. He doesn’t want the job, not really. It’s clear that he entered the race as a joke and to get in the news, and now the reality is setting in, and he’s not happy about it. In addition, he needs to be admired at all times. Look at how his petty ass is on Twitter responding to anyone who’s the slightest bit critical of him. That is not a trait I want in a president, damn it.
I want to be the thorn in his side whenever I can. More to the point, I want him and this congress to get flamed when they jettison the ACA, Social Security, and Medicare, and other social networks that have kept people alive. I will say, however, the Trump supporters who demanded that Obamacare be scuttled and are now panicking that they may lose their ACA healthcare might have wanted to Google that shit before the election. I’m disgusted by how little many Americans pay attention to/care about politics, either because they think nothing can happen to our democracy or because they are disenfranchised and think they can’t have any effect on it. Yes, I’m still pissed off at the nearly half of this country that couldn’t be stuffed to vote. That’s why the angry part of me says, “You fuckers deserve whatever you get under this upcoming administration.” Then the part of me that is always fighting for the underdog kicks in and says that’s too steep a price for them to pay. That’s why I’m a Democrat, damn it. I give a fuck about what happens to the invisible people, and if that makes me a bleeding heart liberal, I will proudly wear that badge.
We’re getting a new president in three days, and I’m fucking terrified. Even though I’ve eschewed politics for the past six months, I’ve still kept up enough to know that we’re up shit creek without a paddle. That’s the one thing I am certain of, despite the unfamiliar terrain upon which we’re about to be thrown. This is not going to be good for us as a country, and I don’t know how well we’ll survive it–if at all. It’s going to be members of my family (not literal family, probably) who are going to suffer under this new regime, and I feel hopeless to stop it. That’s one reason I’ve been avoiding it–I didn’t want to get overwhelmed by it.
You know what else I feel, though? Fury. It’s boiling under the fear, and I’m hoping it’ll win because I’ll take anger over fear any day. You know what I’m intolerant of? Discrimination. Anyone hurting someone I consider family. Unfairness. Injustice. All of these things are going to happen under the next administration, and I need to figure out how I am going to protest against it besides just blogging and ranting on social media. i have a feeling I’m going to be pushed over the edge, and I better prepare for it. I’m not calming down. I’m not accepting this as the new norm. I’m not tucking my head down and trying not to be noticed (though this is my initial impulse). I’m going to fight back however I can because I’m with the Dixie Chicks. I’m not fucking ready to play nice.
I don’t want to be on Trump’s good side. I don’t want to be on the nice list. I am not going to be so tolerant, he tramples all over me and my family. I’m just one voice, and I don’t even think my voice matters, but the least I can do is raise it in protest, even if it gets drowned out. That’s the very least I can do.
*I know tolerance is a problematic word for many people because they say the aim is acceptance, not tolerance. I’m an old, bitter, cynical woman, however, and I know that you cannot legislate acceptance. You can, however, legislate tolerance, which is my goal. I don’t give a shit if someone hates me on a personal level, but I do care if they use their hatred to discriminate against me or infringe on my civil rights.
**Or however long this nightmare is going to last. I don’t think Trump will last the full four years. In fact, I’ll be highly-surprised if he makes it a year. The problem with that is Mike Pence is next in line. Then, Paul Ryan. It gets even more horrifying down the list, so it’s not just a matter of getting rid of Trump.