I’m so fucking furious.
I did not come back to life for this bullshit!
In my past few posts, I’ve been fairly measured about my anger. Yes, I’m angry and talked at length about it, but not in an inflammatory way. I also talked about my sadness and what I’m doing to self-soothe. And, weirdly enough, a lengthy detour into The Murder of Roger Ackroyd by Agatha Christie.
Seriously. I can talk for days about Agatha Christie and my love of obsession with Poirot, even though it’s been shoved into the background for some time. I have read every Poirot novel/short story at least twice if not a dozen times. My favorite is The Big Four with Curtain (the last Poirot case) being a very close second. By the way, while I love David Suchet as Poirot (I mean, a lot. So much). He is the quintessential Poirot, and I don’t think we need another (yes, I’m looking at you, Branagh).
Side note: (Yes, really!) The only new Poirot I would want is a young Poirot, played by a Belgian, when he was in the Belgium police force. We have seen Poirot in England enough, especially as portrayed by British dudes.
I have analyzed Poirot novels, talking about what I love and don’t love about it. I have dissected all the isms I’ve seen in the novels (racism, sexism, classism, etc. Not a lot of overt homophobia, but mostly because queerness was not even acknowledged at that time. Short version) because yes, the novels/stories are in a time that is very different than ours, but that does not mean we have to overlook those issues. I can enjoy the stories AND wince at how Chinese people are portrayed, for example. This is one of my biggest issues with The Big Four. One of the big four is a Chinese man, and the descriptions of Chinese people in this novel is…not great, to say the least.
Side note 2: I really hate what they did with the cinematic version of this novel. They took it in a very weird direction, and, yes, I know the cinematic versions don’t need to adhere to the novels, but this one went way overboard. With most of the movies/episodes, they at least stick loosely to how the story was written. This one starts out that way and then devolves into something that is, as the kids say, a hot mess.
You know, it might be time for anohter read-through of the series. I have had a hard time reading in the past several years, and I think this could jumpstart my reading brain again.
Anyway. I’m into vengeance now. Deeply into vengeance. I am so fucking sick and tired of–well–everything. *gestures impotently at the world around me*
Look. Here’s the thing. Ever since I started voting thirty years ago, the running theme has been that the country leans to the right and that Democrats had to grovel at the feet of the Republicans and give them what they want. Republicans were never given the same message. They could do whatever the fuck they wanted, and it was all hand-waved away.
When Obama won, we had all three houses. (The first time). Decisively. What did the journos say ad nauseam? That Obama had to reach out to the Republicans and to the every day people who did not vote for him and reassure them that he was not going to be mean to them.
Do we hear any of the same stories now? No. Did we hear it when Trump won the first time? No. By the way, I blame the journalists back then for not doing their due diligence. Instead of highlighting how ridiculous/outrageous Trump was as a candidate and calling him on his bullshit, they treated him like an amusing puppy that you could just distract with a chew toy and send him on his way.
Back when Roe v. Wade got repealed, I heard or read (can’t remember which) an article about how it actually affected people. This was months after, obviously. I want to say ABC, but I can’t say for sure. It might have been NPR because that’s mostly what I listen to. NPR and MPR.
In summary, the reporter was talking to a lifelong Republican woman in the south (Texas, I think), who had cheered when Roe v. Wade was overturned. She was pregnant at the time, and she began to have complications with her pregnancy. She found out that it wasn’t viable, but because of Roe v. Wade being overturned and her living in the deep south, she was not going to be allowed to abort the baby. She had to go to another state to find a doctor who would help her. She had to bury her baby in that state because she could not bring the baby back home.
The reporter said how tragic/sad this was (and it wasn’t an interview, I don’t think. Just her commenting on the situation) at some length.
My immediate response? “Good. You fucking deserve it.” Plus a few very not nice swear words that I uttered out loud. The rage I felt at the time consumed me, and I felt as if I would go up in flames. Literal flames. Like scorch the earth flames. I had no sympathy, no empathy, and I was actively angry at her.
Why? Because she only cared about the situation (oh, I should have mentioned that, yes, this was specifically related to a story on the repeal of Roe v. Wade, which she was for) when it affected her. She even she didn’t think Roe v. Wade would have any effect on her. She only cared when she realized, much to her shock, that, yes, yes it did affect her as well. I think she even said something about it should be between her and her doctor. Which, yes?!? That’s all we (Dems) have ever wanted. For fuck’s sense.
Her mindset is so common, but I had rarely seen it displayed so starkly. I didn’t care until it affected me. Fuck all those other people who are negatively affected–I don’t give a fuck about them. Or more to the point, those other people simply aren’t real.
I get that. I’m not bitter about it. That’s human nature. Of course you are going to care more about yourself and then your friends and family than a random faceless person out there in the void. That’s human nature. What absolutely sent me was how someone could not foresee how striking down Roe v. Wade would include the very situation she found herself in.
No, I do know why. Because she was A Good Person. Probably a Very Good Christian, to boot. She would never think of getting an abortion, unlike those liberal sluts who slept with everyone and anyone who looked at them. Of course she would never be hurt by that decision! Even though anyone with half a brain could see the ramifications of such a broad ruling.
But, no. She was happy enough to stick it to the Dems, so much so ,that she never thought of how it might adversely affect her. Which seems to be the Republican M.O. these days.
I’m done for now. I will probably continue to go down this road in the next post. Oh, I did want to say that I found a modicum of compassion for this woman a few days later because what she went through was a horrific experience. I just don’t have much optimism that she learned a bigger picture lesson from it.