I am extremely privileged in many ways, especially financially. I don’t have to worry about money and believe me, I know that’s a huge blessing in life. I’ve been thinking about getting a desktop because I want a work station. A stand/sit desk, but that will have to wait. Well, not have to, but will wait.
Why am I talking about privilege? Because the stats for running Elden Ring came out a few days ago. To my dismay, my laptop fell short in the CPU and graphics card departments. I was crushed because this is the only game I want to play this year. My solution? Move up my timetable for getting a new desktop (was going to do it in six months or so) because I HAVE to play this game on day one. I would have been devastated if I couldn’t.
I talked with Ian and my brother about what I needed/wanted in a new desktop. I divulged how much I was willing to pay and Ian suggested one for me. At that time, actually, I was not sure about desktop v. laptop so he suggested both. We talked about which would suit me better and he told me that I would be able to stream Elden Ring from a desktop to my laptop if I wanted.
He gave me suggestions for both laptops and desktops (Asus for both) and the one we were thinking of (the desktop) is the one my brother bought for his church, but even more powerful. Yes, he bought a gaming ring for his church and got acrylics to put over the flashing lights. He was pro-desktop and it made sense. I probably have another six months or so in this laptop and if I use it only for traveling and/or nighttime writing, I might be able to stretch it out even longer.
I have a desktop that I haven’t used for a while because it doesn’t have an SSD. I didn’t realize how much that mattered until I actually got one (in my laptop). Now, I can never go back.
Side Note: Isn’t that the way of, well, everything? You don’t know what you’re missing until you get it and then lose it. Ian and I were talking about graphics because I was joking about getting a monitor/screen that could was 10K. I said I couldn’t tell 4K from HD, but that’s not actually true. I can, just as I can now tell HD from non-HD. I used to not care until I started watching things in HD. Now, anything less than HD is no good.
It’s why people who win millions of dollars aren’t set for life. Your spending habits ratchet up as your income does as well. There was a study about snacks that showed people eat the same ratio of snacks no matter how much they were given. For example, they were given three sizes of theater popcorn. No matter what size they were given, they ate a third of the container. It’s the same with income. If people spend 80% of their income when they make $30.000 a year, they’ll do the same when they make $100,000 a year. It’s astonishing how quickly you’ll get used to a new way of life.
Anyway, that’s neither here nor there. Except that it’s easy to talk myself into thinking I need more. Normally, I am very parsimonious with money. I don’t spend it and something like buying a new computer makes me wince. Usually, I would think about it for weeks, maybe longer. My brother told me to look at prices over the next few weeks–which is where I cut him off . At the time we talked, Elden Ring was coming out in a a week-and-a-half. I was buying a new computer before Elden Ring dropped because I WAS going to be playing it on the first day.
I can’t tell you how out-of-the-norm this is for me. I would not consider buying a new computer just to play one game (well, and the fact that it was already on my mind) by any other developer. I don’t care if that game is Stray and you get to play as a cat!!! This is true, by the way. I can’t wait to play that game, but it’s not a ‘buy a computer to play it’ game.
I cannot stress how out of character this is for me. SO out of character. I normally worry over ever decision I make and drag my feet on actually making them. Although, when I finally do make a decision, I usually end up seeing it through very quickly.
I feel very weird about this. I have been thinking of creating a work station for myself, including a standing desk and dual monitors/screens. Right now, I have a monitor and a screen. Yes, I still have an actual monitor–that’s how long I’ve had my current desktop. My brother emailed me with a link to a mechanical keyboard that was on steep sale, and then emailed me saying he thought I should get a sit/stand desk as well. Both of these things I’ve thought about, but right now, I don’t care about any of that! All I care about is getting my desktop computer set up so I can play Elden Ring–and that is such a first-world, bougie problem. I acknowledge it. That’s why I mention privilege early on. I fully acknowledge it. I rarely talk about it online because, well, it’s for a selfish reason. I could say it’s because I want to be sensitive to other people who struggle with money–and that’s true. I do want to be sensitive to them. But, also, I don’t want to hang myself out to dry. I know how people feel about people with money–and with good reason. I feel that way about crass consumption as well, but who is to say that others wouldn’t say the same about me and the spending spree I just went on? I could justify everything I bought as needed for work, but did I really need them? Yes! And also, no. Yes, I needed a new desktop, but I didn’t need the one I bought. Yes, I need peripherals for that desktop, but I could have technically carried the peripherals back and forth from my laptop to my desktop.
In general, I am not one to allow myself to be upsold, but I can do it to myself at times. No shame in that, I don’t think. Everyone has their weak points–mine is FromSoft. Seriously, though, mine is anything related to keeping me online.
I know that I’m incredibly lucky when it comes to money. I know that being a penny-pincher by choice rather than necessity is a gift. I am aware that I can’t complain about anything in the financial realm. It’s such a blessing and I can’t ever forget it.