I’ve been musing for some time about being a weirdo in a word full of normies. Of course, we can debate normal for days, but there are societal norms such as getting (het) married and having children.
I realized when I was 22 that I neither wanted children nor had to have them. It was such a relief and quite the revelation. I grew up in two cultures that mandated a woman had to have children. It did not matter if I wanted them or not (most emphatically did not), but I was expected to have them.
I have documented time and time again that the realization that I did not have to have children was formative for me. Until that point, I just assumed I had to have them and oh my god. I am so glad I realized that wasn’t true before I actually, you know, had a child.
That was the first time in my life that I realized that I could actually go against the grain and not do what I was supposed to do. And I got a lot of shit for it, especially from my mother. As an AFAB person, I was expected to have children, no questions asked. My mother guilted me over and over again, crying about the bond between mother and daughter when the daughter has children. She pressured me for 15 years to have children, and it was only when I turned 40 that she gave up. Then, she started bothering me about getting married to a man so he could take care of me when we got old.
Which was rich coming from her. Given her marriage, she was the last person who should have been pushing nuptials, especially for that reason.
Being who I am and realizing these things about myself over the years plus my natural ability to read people enhanced by decades of having to be my mother’s emotional support person makes me have a unique perspective on life. It’s one that makes me question myself more often than not, but it’s also helps me see many different points of view. Which can lead me to being contrarian at times. Sometimes, I have to bite my tongue because I don’t need to voice every thought in my head.
It’s hard, though. There’s someone in the RKG Discord that many producers (second-to-top-tier level) loathe. He is not a producer, so he can’t comment in the producer forums. He says a lot of ignorant things, but he also just states opinions that are not popular. I only know this because then a handful of producers will go in a producer forum and bitch about him. The first time I saw this happening, I hunted him down to see what he had said that was so terrible. And, I have to say, it wasn’t that bad.
Let me be clear. He’s ignorant and apt to spout off bullshit that doesn’t hold up. And one time, he said something that was eye-rollingly thickheaded. And sexist, but in an every day sexism sort of way. But, here’s the thing. It’s extremely mild in terms of the internet and he is entitled to his own opinions.
Every few days, someone will complain about him in the producer forum, and I don’t think they realize how it comes across to those of us who are not as invested in him being the Discord villain. There is one woman who has him on mute, but will unmute him when anybody gripes about him so she can join in.
It’s very Mean Girls and childish, and, frankly, it makes me uncomfortable. The last dust-up because he said he didn’t like the latest Star Wars thing in the movie forum. People were complaining that he was being a jerk about it, but he just said he found it boring. And thought it funny that the aliens had a specific kind of British accent.
Most people think he’s doing it on purpose because no one can be that clueless, they decry. They think he’s winding them up, which, if he is, why are they giving him the satisfaction? I don’t think he is, though. I think he has zero social skills and sees nothing wrong with saying his opinions whenever and wherever. No EQ, is what I’m trying to say. That’s actually more damning, I think, than thinking he’s doing it on purpose because you can change that attitude, but it’s much harder to make someone aware of something they don’t realize exists.
At any rate, someone being wrong on the internet is as old as the internet itself. The best thing to do is ignore him, though I do understand not wanting a great community to be soiled. But, I would argue that just letting him shout into the wind is fine. Disagreeing directly with him is also fine. But bitching behind his back in a forum he can’t go into and defend himself, I’m not fine with that.
This is me to a T. I will defend someone out of principle (though I will say I haven’t pushed too hard on it in the Discord because I don’t want to get involved in it at all) even when I don’t like a person. And I don’t like this person, but I am not intensely bothered by him as others are.
I identify with him, honestly. I am a contrarian and often have unpopular opinions. Like Star Wars is not good. Or, to be more fair, Star Wars is not for me. Even in the Discord where people are obsessed with FromSoft games, I am in the minority in that I do not like Bloodborne or Sekiro. They are unkind to people with bad reflexes without the usual workarounds, especially Sekiro. I was able to cobble together a way to play Bloodborne and to beat all the bosses solo until I got to the DLC (which is b-r-u-t-a-l), but I didn’t enjoy it. Let’s not even talk about Sekiro.
I will briefly state why I don’t like the games, and there will be one or two people who agree with me. Most people, however, think Bloodborne and Sekiro are perfect games, and they will hear naught to the contrary. I’m careful not to say they are bad games (which they most emphatically are not), but I just do not have the same reverence for them that other people do.
I don’t want to yuck on other people’s yums. I really don’t. But at the same time, I’m not going to pretend I like something I don’t. It should not be criminal to state an opposing opinion. Again, I’m not going to shit all over Bloodborne and/or Sekiro, but I’m also not going to pretend that they’re the greatest thing since sliced bread. I think they are brilliant games because of course they are, but they are not for me.
I don’t think I should have to couch that too much, even with enthusiasts. It should be ok for me to say that they were not for me without the awkward pause that always follows said statement.
But it’s ok. I’m fine with being the contrarian. I have been all my life, and I’m thinking of a way to use it for good and not evil. Watch this space for more on that. Later.