I had started a different post, but Ian just said something to me that completely blew my mind. We were talking about societal powers and how we both called ourselves socialists. Comfortably. I would not even blink twice if someone callde me that. I mentioned that I was a libertarian with a small L because as long as you did not harm someone, I did not care what you did. I do not follow societal norms that are meaningless to me, which, to be fair, are pretty much all of them.
Ian fired back that he thought I was past libertarian and into anarchist. My immediate reaction to that was, “Fuck no!” because while I don’t care for societal norms, I am also a rules-follower to a certain extent.
I thought about it, though. What I know about anarchy is that it’s about dismantling all systems and lawlessness. It’s very much a pejorative as it’s used in society in general. But, as I’ve learned in my many years on earth, that’s what the powers that be want us to think. Same with calling people communists during the Red Scare.
I looked up anarchist and talked about it more with Ian. He said it’s not thinking you can dismantle all systems of power, but always holding those feet to the fire. Anarchists know that there will always be power structures in the world; they just want to make sure they are as fair as possible. Of course, some anarchists want to take them down, but others acknowledge that it’s more about improving the systems.
Yes, it’s a far-left ideology. I knew that already. I have also heard people use it in terms of romantic relationships, meaning that they didn’t want any struture to their romance. No partners, no obligations, etc. I have to say that I find that unrealistic, but only because i do think you owe people you love some courtesies. And I think it’s really hard not to have any jealousy at all, but I suppose it’s possible to have a very low level. But, I think it’s going to be difficult to find many people who don’t have any jealousy at all. Also, I think it’s reasonable to expect someone you love to, say, not disappear on you for two weeks at a time.
I have to say, though, that I have been reevaluating my feelings on romantic relationships for the past decade. Back when I was a youngin, I thought I’d marry and have children. That was just a given. My mother made it plain that I was going to get married and have children because as a girl, that was my fate. I was not happy about it, but so be it.
Then, when I turned 21, I realized (as I was dating a guy I really loved) that I did not want children. Ever. Which made me so happy and relieved. I was giddy with the realizattion that not only did I not want them, I did not have to have them! Despite my mother’s manipulative attempts to heavy-hand me into having them. Best decision I ever made. I still stand by that.
Then in my thirties, I realized I did not want to get married. In my forties, it was that I did not want a long-term monogamous relationship. Now, I just want a fuck buddy/dies with whom I can share a meal or a few laughs and then fuck like bunnies.
I never understood why I had to get married and have children just because I was perceived as a woman. I made so many women mad because not only did I not follow the status quo; I ignored it exist at all. I was not at all apologetic about it, either. I did not qualify it by saying how much I loved children and how sorry I was that I couldn’t/didn’t have children. I just assumed that it was a reasonable thing to say: I didn’t have crhildren because I did not want them. Period.
I know it sounds silly to say, but Ian supplying me with the term anarchist made things slide into place. Especially as he explained that it wasn’t about completely getting rid of systems (knowing this is impossible), but more about questioning the systems and always holding the people in power accountable for what they do/don’t do. That resonated with me as someone who is constantly asking why. I don’t take anything for granted, and I’m not satisfied with glib answers.
I believe every human being should be accorded a base amount of respect simply for being human. I don’t believe that someone should be accorded more respect because they are a CEO of a company, say. Or a cop. Or a doctor. I will give them that respect if they show that they deserve it, but not because of their position.
This is how I’ve felt since I was a little kid. I never got why I should defer to someone just because they are an adult or a pastor or whatnot. When I was in church, my brother and I were playing. Apparently, we were were playing with something some other kids (a bit younger) wanted to play with and we wouldn’t let them. Their mother yelled at us and said that my brother was a big bully. He looked at her and said, “You’re a bigger bully.” Which was true. She was a pushy woman who constantly told people what to do. But because she was an adult, we were supposed to listen to her. I’m not sure who was right or wrong in that situation, but she did not need to put her nose into it. It wasn’t as if we were actually bullying her kids. We were just playing with something they wanted to play with.
I have a very strong sense of right and wrong, and I’m very much for the underdog. My brother laughs at me because I will automatically stick up for the person who is downtrodden in any given story. I will also look for a reason to support the person who has less power in any given situation. I realize it’s not always the fact that the person with less power is being wronged, but it often is.
I’ll have to think more about this because it’s blown my mind. Me, an anarchist. I kinda like the sound of that.