Yesterday, I was talking about my frustrations with the BMI and fatphobia in general. The talk of diets and how women bond over moaning over how fat they were. Er, I did not talk about the last point, but it’s definitely a thing that happens. Not to mention talk about being ‘bad’ and ‘I shouldn’t’ with a giggle while reaching for a cookie. Then, when it became slightly less cool to talk about ‘good’ and ‘bad’ food, it turned to ‘healthy’ and ‘unhealthy’ or foods you can eat all the time and foods you should eat in moderation.
I was reading an old post on Ask A Manager about (during the pandemic) someone’s hubby starting a new job. They had a wellness meeting on Zoom in which they had to talk about what they ate and how they could do better. Most commenters were genuinely appalled, but there were a few hardy souls who caped for the diet industry. Oh, they did not say it that way, of course, but they were so invested in it. Talking about obesity, blah, blah, blah.
As many people pointed out, obesity is one of the bogeymen of healthcare. It’s what a doctor slaps on anything that happens to a fat person, whether it’s relevant or not. And, as people pointed out, oftentimes, the causation is going the wrong way. “People who are obese develop sleep apnea” should be rewritten as “People with sleep apnea are obese”. In other worcds, if there is a causation, it’s not necessarily the way people are told it goes.
Here’s the thing. Of course the medical industry is going to push obesity and personal responsibility so they don’t have to change what they do. They can just tell their patients to eat less and exercise more. Rinse, lather, repeat.
By the awy, I know it’s lather, rinse, repeat. For some reason, though, my brain has always said it as rinse, lather, repeat–and I’m not too fussed to change it.
It’s the point I was making yesterday about recycling and smoking. It’s in businesses’ interest to make sure the responsibility is foisted off on the individual so they can go about ruinning the environment. In the case of the medical industry, it’s not exactly the same. Except it is. They’re going for the easy answer and the one that makes it the willpower of the individual. And, because health insurance is tied to the workplace, it makes it even more insidious.
If a workplace sincerely cared abotu their employees (and not just about bringing down the healtchcare costs), they would value work/life balance, provide an array of food for the employees to eat, pay better, and offer incentives for people to exercise.
One cemmenter said that at her workplace, they did just that. She offered all the things they did, and most of them sounded good. But, then she said that they don’t remburse for exercise equipment. Their rationale was that most people didn’t use home equipment. I thought that was backwards thinking, though, because people who didn’t use equipment at home were not going to go to a gym. Also, I would want my weapons to be reimbursed. Yes, my classes and private lessons would be, but my weapons should be as well!
Another commenter lives in Finland. She said that her boss was a marathon nut, but understood that other people may not have the same passion. But, he did have walking competitions that people were encouraged to enter, even if they were not fit. Then there was a prize draw at the end. Someone pointed out that it was still paternalistic, and I agree. I just don’t think we need that in a workplace.
It just shows how deeply this kind of thing is embedded in culture. In America, there are weaight-losing competitions at work. There are meetings like the one I mentioned above. There are companies who offer to pay for more of the health insurance, but in return, the employee has to give them a lot of personal information.
None of this is OK. Not only is it none of a boss’s business waht his employee weighs, eats, exercises etc., but it’s a way to show favortism depending upon the answer of the employee. I am at a place in my life where I absoulutely would not answer, but twenty-year-old me would have been devastated.
It’s depressing as fuck to hear people defend fatphobia, especially when they are well-meaning. Clinging to it like a safety blankety. What if, hear me out, we promoted letting people eat what they want in peace? Radical idea, I know, but it just might work.
I know I’m not going to change society. I am heartened that more people are putting their feet down to this nonsense. It’s hard to go against the cultural groupthink, but it’s necessary.
The thing that gets to me is the vitriol people have for fat people. Even people who are fat themselves. Maybe especially fat people. Internalized _____isms are the worst because it’s directed at oneself, comes from the inside, and is unrelenting. In addition, there is the need to prove that you are one of the good fatties, not like those disgusting degenerates who are just too lazy to take care of themselves. This is the mental divide that peeople with internalized isms go through–why they are different, unique, and should not be subjected to the same rules. Or they are harder on themselves than they would be on other people. It’s always one extreme or the other.
If you want to add sexism to the mix, you can. Women and female-presenting people get judge by far more harshly about their weight than men and male-presenting peeople do. I have long since believed that it’s a way to oppress women and keep them tamed. I know that when I was in the throes of my eating disorders, I couldn’t think about much else. I was consumed with my ever-shrinking waist. Plus, it’s an easy way to wound a woman. Just mention her weight or that she’s getting fat, and she’ll feel shitty all week long. It did not escape my notice that women are exhorted to be as small as possible.
The reason I know the health thing is bullshit is because there is no concern for people who are underweight, which is worse for you than being overweight. If it was TRULY about health, then people would be equally concerned about underweight people. They are not.
I’m just tired of it. I need people to be better. Thats’ my goal for 2024.