Let’s talk more about goal-setting and the reason I don’t call them resolutions. I have a weird brain. I have to work around my own flaws. One thing is that my brain will not accept certain things. It just won’t. Once it has barriers to something, it might as well be a brick wall.
When I realized that resolutions were meaningless and that most people broke them so what’s the purpose?, I just could not take the concept seriously again. Also, I don’t necessarily believe in new year, either. I don’t mean I don’t think they happen because of course I do.
Side note: one reason I don’t like putting undue emphasis on traditions is because there is no reason for it. And it makes something that should be joyful like Thanksgiving into something that’s stressful. So many people ferak out about making sure it’s perfect, and then they don’t enjoy it at all when it actually happens. Even if it’s pulled off perfectly.
Side note to the side note: This is why weddings are often terrible. People (mostly women) put so much emphasis on the one day and want it to be perfect. They pour all this meaning into it, and there is no way for the day to actually live up to the expectations. And, from what I’ve heard, no one actually remembers their wedding day because it goes by in a blur.
Back to New Year’s Day resolutions. I don’t believe in them becuase while there is a psychological implication of a new year, there is nothing that actually differentiates it from the day before. I’ve mentioned that it’s like birthdays. People like to act like it’s a big thing, but it really isn’t. They ask how it feels to be a year older, but you’re not! You’re only one day older. Just like every other day. A year is the aggregate of 364 days. This is not me being nitpicky, either. This is how my brain works. Once I realize that something is bullshit, I just can’t take it seriously any longer. I can’t even pretend to take it seriously. the best I can do is keep my mouth shut if others are talking about it.
Here is how I trick my brain in a different matter. I am really bad at deadlines. Not meeting them, but working to the back of them. I’ve come to accept that is my way and have stopped freaking out about it. The only thing I’ve adjusted is that I give myself more time rather than cram it to the absolute back of the deadline, and that’s enough to make a difference. Also, I no longer fret about it during the time I’m not doing it.
Back to goals. Once I changed from resolutions to goals, my brain was no longer resistant. I know that sounds silly and as if it’s a matter of semantics, but that’s how my brain works. Also, goals, to me, implies long-term and something you work rather than resolutions, which are discrete units that you do repeatedly. That’s how my brain sees it, anayway.
My first goal now that my car is fine (well, the tires are, at any rate) is to use my new slow cooker. I haven’t even unwrapped it yet because I’ve been so stressed about my car. It’s bigger than I anticipate, I’ll tell you that much. The slow cooker, I mean. I had read that they are huge. And it’s 4.5 quarts, whatever that means. I am terrible at volume.
Someone in the RKG Discord, ironically, talked about how she had made chicken corn chowder in ther crockpot. She’s also in the Midwest and is getting cold and snow (like we are). How long will the slow cooker sit in its box? My guess is at least a week because that, too, is how I roll. I have a very difficult time doing anything new, which this most definitely is. Plus, add it to something I hate–cooking–and you’ll see me procrastinate for a very long time.
I want to cook more because I have been getting takeout/delivery too much. In addition, I know that I should be better at just making simple, tasty dishes that can last a good long time. That’s part of the crockpot/slow cooker buy. I know that you can make a quantity of a stew/soup that will last for several days. that is what I want!
I have decided that the first thing I want to make is potato corn chowder because that’s what I made back in the day. I may throw in chicken, but not bacon because I hate American bacon .It’s crispy to the ponit of being burnt, and it’s overly salty. So, so, SO salty. Which I do not like. I like my bacon soft and chewy, which is blasphemous, apparently.
My goal is to make one thing a week. I have learned that I need to make my goals on the lower end (lower mean not as challenging) especially when it’s comes to things I don’t like/are bad at. I need to exceed my expectations rather than constantly fail to meet them.
Yes, I would say it’s because I was pressured as a kid to be perfect. My mother realized that wasn’t a good thing when I reached my twenties, but it was too late by that point. In addition, she may no longer have expeced me to be perfect, but she still demanded that I be her emotional support person.
In addition, I am really good at a lot of things. That is not a humblebrag or a brag—that’s just facts. I am good at many things, and I learn new things easily. Until I don’t. In a version of ‘when I’m good, I’m very good’, when I’m bad, I’m awful. Probably because I expect to be automatically great.
So I need to set the expectations exceeding low. Then, I won’t get frustrated if I fuck up at first–which I fully expect I will. Fuck up, that is. That’s just the way to learn, but it’s not something I do well.