Just when I thought I would have a tech issue-free day….I will say it was not anything big, nor, sadly was it unexpected. It was just my internet deciding to go out for a minute. For no reason. It does this once every few weeks. Sometimes, it’s the internet actually going out for a minute. Other times, it’s just my computer decided not to be connected. The latter is infinitely more frustrating and annoying because if my connection is good, then I should be able to internet.
Fortunately, it usually clears up in a few minutes, and today was no exception.
Let’s talk more about dating! As I have talked about in past, the one thing I appreciate the older I get is that I have a firmer idea of what is acceptable in a partner and what isn’t. It’s interesting to me how different it is for me than it is for most normies.
When I was a kid, I thought I’d grow up, gett married, and have children. Happily ever after and the rest of our lives, etc. To death do us part and all that jazz. It didn’t fill me with joy, but I was indoctrinated brought up to believe that it was the only path for a young woman. It wasn’t even implicit–my mother flat out said that the job of a woman was to have children. When I told her I didn’t want them, she said it didn’t matter what I wanted–it was my duty. She straight up said it!
I was twenty-two when I realized that I didn’t want them. So hard. Like, it was the thing I wanted least in the world. Me dying twice and coming back? Preferable to having children. Of course, I did come back, so that makes me biased, but still. It was such a relief to realize I didn’t actually have to have children, no matter how much my mother pressured me to do so.
Here’s my post from yesterday in which I talked more about my tech issues than anything else. Look. I live online. If I can’t access my computer, it’s a big deal. Yes, I’m very lucky that I have a laptop and a desktop so I can go to one if the other isn’t working, but I prefer doing some stuff on my desktop and some stuff on my laptop, so I highly prefer both to be working.
Around the same time I realized I did not want children, I also discovered that I was sexually attracted to women. And now, to people of any or no gender. Gender doesn’t matter. We like to say race is a construct, and so is gender. That’s not what this post is about, though, so I’ll move past that with dificulty.
Let’s talk about now. I am tired. I’m tired of the hatred of my LGBTQ+ kinfolk, and I just don’t have the will to deal with it any longer. Which means–no cishetdudes for me. It’s too much like all the isms 101, and I don’t have the patience for that. I mean, I never have, but it’s really gone now.
There are some basics I expect from a partner. One, I deserve full human/civil rights. This is nonnegotiable. Anyone who thinks I don’t deserve equal rights is not gonig to have access to my bed. I can’t believe I have to state that, but I know how people are.
Also, I don’t have to give anyone a chance. My dating life is not a democracy. It’s a tyranny with me as the reigning monarch. I don’t have to be fair. I don’t have to bend over backwards (heh) to find the best in someone. If some dude doesn’t like it, well, too fucking bad. He can go whining to his bros what a bitch I am (beacuse I know that’s what I’ll get called).
This is what I’m looking for. Someone who wants to hook up a few times a week. There may be a meal involved–or not. There probably won’t be a movie because I don’t like movies. There might be some gaming involved, but probably not because that takes too long. Really, my ideal would be takeout of Thai or Chinese, then an hour or two of sex, and then my partner would go home. I would be able to take a shower and go to bed satisfied. I would have one to three partners on tap, and I would rotate between them on a regular basis.
This would be done aboveboard, of course. Everyone would know about everyone else, and there would be no hard feelings or jealousy. That’s fantasy, of course, as it’s human to get jealous or annoyed–even in the best relationships.
I wouldn’t necessarily say no to a threesome/throuple, either. Here’s the thing. I would have to like the person/s I’m getting involved with. I’ve had sex with people I didn’t like. The sex was fine, but not liking the person made the situation not as fun as it might have been otherwise.
I have one rule when it comes to sexxing–as long as all people involved are enthusiastically consenting, anything goes. I’ve tried many things that aren’t necessarily my kink beacuse a partner wanted to do it, and I’ve enjoyed the vast majority of them. There are a few that I’ve said no to, but they are very few and far between.
I’ve also learned that the people who say they are really open about sex often aren’t. That’s not surprising as anytime someone says they’re something or the other, they really aren’t. It’s one thing to know you are something or the other; it’s another to feel the need to keep saying it repeatedly. It’s as if you’re trying to convince yourself and others that you’re that thing. Like a nice guy.
Ahem.
I just want to fuck. Maybe have some laughs. But definitely fuck. It’s been a while, and I’ don’t know if I’m in any shape to do it. I also know that my tastes are wilder than most people’s, though I’m content with vanilla sex in a pinch. It really is like pizza. Even bland sex is better than no sex. Well, as long as it’s with someone I want to sex.
I want someone open-minded, enthusiastic, and non-shaming. Either of themselves or other people. I have been with people who are willing to do the sex, but then feel guilty/bad about it. Or feel that they can’t keep up with me. That’s the part that really bothers me. It’s not a contest, and if it is, I’m going to win. My sex drive is so high, and back in my twenties, I could have sex for hours without getting tireid. It didn’t matter how many times I orgasmed–I could still have more.
I had exes who felt bad that they couldn’t keep up. They didn’t understand how I could be happy with what I got, but still be able to have more.
More tomorrow.