Just for a change of pace, let’s talk about something more frivolous than the shitty state of the world. Which, quite honestly, could be anything. Literally anything. In this case, it’s romance sex, and it’s still related to everything that’s going on.
I have a type. I noticed it decades ago. Alan Rickman.
I could leave it there, but I won’t.
Let’s add to him, Rachel Maddow.
Those were the gold standard for so long. I added to my list Erika Ishii because they are just my everything. That voice. That personality. That bod. That face. That hair! Just, they are the whole package.
Ever since the hell started in Minnesota, I’ve been watching way more news than I used to (and than is probably good for me). I glommed onto a local news anchor, Jana Shortal, who has short, curly hair, is acerbic, yet warm, has a lovely deep voice, and is a lesbian.
I mention the last because that’s been a theme, starting with Rachel Maddow. Dark short hair, wonky glasses (wonky as in wonk, not as in broken/weird), deep, warm voice (of course, these days, a reporter has to have a great voice), nerdy, and a sarcastic yet rousing sense of humor.
Next up was Kara Swisher. Pretty much rinse, lather, repeat. Yes, I know that it should be lather, rinse, repeat, but I’ve always said rinse, leather, repeat–and I won’t ever stop. It’s gotten to the point where I’ll send K a name and a bio with a wry, “So my type!”, and she’ll quip something back in return.
Side note: K and I are both pretty passionate about politics. We agree on most everything just to different degrees. I can count the number of times we’ve flat-out disagreed on something on one hand. We can tell each other things we would not share to the world at large. We’ve been friends for thirty years, and I still learn things about her that I didn’t know before.
We’ve discussed our love lives, sure. She’s been married the entire time we’ve been friends and had her child about ten years into our friendship. I told her that she got the first year free to talk about the baby as much as she wanted. This is the thing I say to all my friends when they have something momentous happen to them. After that, I expect them to return to a more balanced conversation.
K never needed that time. She and I kept on as we always were with her talk of her kid being an additive. I commented on it from time to time, and she said that she was glad to be talking about other things with me. What I inferred was that she wanted to retain her identity as K and not just as L’s mom. I could dig that, and I was happpy to be that person for her. Everyone needs the friend who will just let you be you. And, I love her (now young adult) child as if they were one of my niblings.
K has been my rock throughout my, well, rocky dating history. She’s been there for my heartbreaks and thrills, and she’s not judged me along the way. She’s not coddled me either, though. She’s a straight-shooter, which I appreciate. She’s also been my wingwoman when we went out dancing, back when she lived here. A best gal pal who will hype you up is to be treasured.
Last night (or the night before. Days and nights are blending together), I sent her the wiki bio of Jacob Soboroff and said he was another political crush in case she couldn’t guess. She sent me back a message, “You definitely have a type!” with a laughing emoji. I joked back that now I just needed to apply it to my actual dating/sex life.
Oh, I’ve included the video of Missy Elliott’s induction to the Hall of Fame in 2023 above. She is another who fits my type, long flowing wig or short cropped hair. Warm, deep voice, great smile, someone who can nerd out on things, short dark hair (when she’s not wearing a wig), athletic body, and in her case, someone who exudes sex.
The thing is, while I have a very definite type, I am also very attracted to people on an individual level. Plus, I’m more attracted to who a person is than how they look/sound. Like, there’s a baseline for the latter, but the former is all over the map. The only things I can say are a must is that the person has a passion for something other than me. I don’t care what the subject is, but they must be able to nerd out on something.
Ok, if I’m going to be brutally honest, there are some hobbies/interests I care about more than others. for instance, I have less than zero interest in cars. However, I am willing to listen to someone who loves cars talk about them as long as it’s in a fresh new way. I don’t care how fast it goes or how it looks. A car, for me, is a vehicle to get me from Point A to Point B.
Another example is sports. I used to watch a lot of sports when I was in my twenties–with my mother. My brother and father had no interest in sports. My mom and I would watch football, baseball, basketball, and tennis. Oh, and the Olympics whenever they happened. I had a friend who dated a baseball guy, and he was very much into the stats, nuts, and bolts of the sport.
That is not my jam at all. That makes me cross my eyes and check out. Plus, I hate going to an arena. Way too loud and too many people. I much preferred watching at home. Then, at some point, I became uncomfortable with the whole concept of American sports because they are so exploitative*, I could not in good conscience keep watching.
I have tried to find an online grouup that likes Taiji weapons for the art of it. The only groups I can find are dudes who are stats nerds. I don’t want that! I don’t care about what wood and how much of it, say, a cane is. I just don’t.
I’m not a details pperson. If it feels good in my hands, then I’m good to go. When I hit flow state, that’s when I’m happiest.
What am I looking for? Honestly? Sex and a few laughs. Together and separately. I love laughing in bed–and out. I’m going to look for someone who is more my physical type and nerdy. I don’t want a partner, long-term or not.
I’m done for now. More tomorrow.
*Yeah,